Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Parrothead]

"My sandwich loves you!"
"Great, now I have this creepy mayonnaise thing-"
"No, 'cause I used like this much mayo"

[edible_hat]

*sniff sniff* "What died in here?"
"The microwave."
*sniff sniff* "Was it part biological?"
"Well M also found the milk that disappeared 3 weeks ago. And opened it."

[Rapscallion]

"So, we stack them to nipple height on me. Does that make it the nipple zenith?"

Rapscallion

[PuckishOne]

"I love the smell of failure in the morning."

[Xieg]

"The dog... It's measurements made it a perfect square! I think she was measuring a box."
"Did she say what kind of dog it was?"
"I think a UPS brown terrier."

[edible_hat]

"Bratwurst! Is it made of real brats?"
"I hope so, then I could sell my son to the factory."

[Dark-Star]

^ thanks, reminded me of this one!

(female employee to male employee)
"If you make ONE MORE comparison between a hot dog and a male sex organ I am going to take a butter knife and castrate you without anesthetic!!"

[edible_hat]

"There's one big room full of crap, and a door through to a smaller room full of cigarettes."

"You missed N. That fartmobile you probably just heard? That was him."

"Get me a..."
"Shrubbery?"
"No, I was going to say a carton of LA Ice cola."

[cinema guy]

"Iron Man? I'd settle for an ironing man."

[edible_hat]

"I've brought in a mystery pie. Even I don't know what's in it!"

(later, at break time)
"I've solved the mystery. It was beef and bacon."

[Becks]

"You can lick, suck or even bite them!"

[Broomjockey]

"Yeah, well I don't know any illegal arms dealers this month."

[amphrite]

Strangest thing I ever heard

Preschooler swim student :".......Mumblemumble So now he's dead and I can't see him anymore."

[edible_hat]

"I'll be back! Lalala!"
"That's got to be the worst Ah-nuld impersonation ever."

[Fenrus]

CW1:"So I picked up this big rock, and he was like 'oh, ow'"
CW2: "Heh, oh ow... wait, what?"