Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[edible_hat]

If you've just crapped your pants, I'll kick you in them.


Has anyone else noticed that the back room smells like arse?


Paris Hilton was better when she was a hotel.

[xaenon]

"Aw, now WHY did you clean that?! Do you have ANY idea what you've done?! Now they'll want it that way ALL THE TIME!"
- - - - - - -
(Overheard as the boss is passing out the paychecks)
Damn, I *STILL* work here.....
- - - - - - -
"Don't worry if you don't understand it. You haven't been here long enough for that special sort of insanity yet."

[xaenon]

"Geez, I can't stand it any more, why won't this day end?!"

"How long you been here?"

"Twenty minutes."

[cinema guy]

"I'm not fondling your boobs."

[cinema guy]

"So, I hear you are stalking J."

[edible_hat]

"Wow, someone actually did some work yesterday."
"Well it wasn't me."

[Spiffy McMoron]

"[Company X products]'s never break down!"
"Then why do we still have jobs?"



"I could really go for a giant stack of pancakes."

[xaenon]

"They don't pay me to think. Hell, they barely pay me enough to show up."

[edible_hat]

"My daughter's on holiday, so I'm not getting any."
"Um... would you care to rephrase that?"
"No I wouldn't - we all know what I mean, and it sounds funnier that way."

[technical.angel]

"I'm a staff member calling from home. I deleted a program last night, and now I don't have internet access. Do you know what I did?"

[Rapscallion]

"It's always a bad idea to have christmas day on a Thursday."

Rapscallion

[xaenon]

"Somebody call 9-1-1 and tell them we are NOT on fire! Ah, shit, never mind..."

[crazylegs]

Well I'm off home to not have sex with my wife!

[Dips]

"The problem is that the Windows philosophy doesn't work in Windows."

[MannersMakethMan]

I never do things half-assed. I always like to put my whole ass into it.