Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Spiffy McMoron]

Where the hell can I buy a custom bobble head doll?

[edible_hat]

Finally, an excuse to walk around without pants!

[Dreamstalker]

"Why do I feel like I'm in a remake of The Prisoner?"
"Ooh, can I be Rover?"

[sarasquirrel]

"im getting it up"

"what did i tell you about leaving your boxers on the shelf?"

[Dreamstalker]

"But the server should KNOW nobody here knows the password."
"If it knows nobody knows the password, it has become sentient. If it is sentient, it knows where it is employed. If it ever knew it was employed here, it would self-destruct. So it's just protecting itself."

[hotelslave]

I got excited when the firemen came

[edible_hat]

"So they eventually find the brain, turns out the guy who did the autopsy had it in his fridge all along. The japanese guy asks if he can touch it and the other guy offers him a slice..."

(this got a very weird look from a customer)

[Dreamstalker]

"Are you being socially unacceptable again?"
"Yeah..."
"Oh, okay. I thought it was something actually bad."

[edible_hat]

"So I googled for cheap wedding rings and up popped a site with a special on cock rings..."
"That could be useful on the wedding night, I guess."

[draftermatt]

"Well of course it's your fault. It's your fault we're slow, causing us to sell more, and then it'll be your fault when all those sales hit at the same time making us freaking busy"

[CaroPhoenix]

"Why is it that every time you come near me my underwear falls down?"

[PizzaDrone]

"I'm sorry, I'm having a Weston Super Nightmare!"

[Spiffy McMoron]

"Why don't you ever taste your fluids?"


"People would be buying him martini lunches for breakfast!"


"I couldn't get out the safe word, so I tried to tap it out in Morse Code."

[Lala]

It's not my fault I have big balloons.

[Spiffy McMoron]

I thought I was going to implode--too much going out and not enough going in.