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You call this an interview?
I interviewed today for an order picker position with Amazon.com. The advertisement I was responding to led me to believe it was a full time temp to hire job.
My first clue about how things would be going should have been the email they sent stating I would be turned away without "proof of education". Wait, what? I lost my diploma ages ago during a move, and the school is long gone (small private school 650 miles away). Besides, surely someone in their mid 30s with a long, well documented work history has a GED or otherwise graduated, right? Oh, I'd be proven wrong soon.
The email also said the place was in the middle of nowhere on a dead end road, and also said I should refrain from using Mapquest or a GPS device to find the place (and went on to say if I did use a GPS, to put in a different city entirely). I ignored that and used a GPS and found my way right to their door. No dead end road anywhere near the building, it's very much NOT in the middle of nowhere (it's in an extremely busy industrial area), and hey, my GPS shaved off what I would estimate to be at least 15 minutes.
My appointment was at 3:30. I showed up a little before 3:15, signed in at the security desk, and sat down with several other people who were also there for a 3:30 appointment. Great, group interviews, I've seen that before in call centers and other high turnover jobs. We all sit down and BS a little bit. Finally a few minutes before 4, someone wanders up from the back. "Are you guys here for the 3:30?". We nod. The lady immediately gets bitchy and tells us we're late and they took the 3:30 group back at 3:00. I really wanted to scream Then why the fuck did you tell me my interview was at 3:30 you vapid bitch?!. The email even stated to be there no later than 3:30.
We shuffle into a big meeting room. There's 2 other applicants filling out paperwork. As we're sitting down, they hand me a thick stack of papers to fill out. Then they start telling everyone how we're supposed to sign our names. Where to sign. How many times. Shit, I must have walked into a Kindergarten class, right? Wait, no... these are adults. Then they give us a dire warning. You see, if we make a mistake.. even a tiny mistake.. we can't scratch it out. No, we have to re-do the entire stack of papers.
I have to fill it out 3 times. 15 pages, 3 times. The first time, because I accidentally wrote the wrong date (my bad). The second time, because... get this. They didn't like the way I write my 8's. When I write an 8, I leave an open loop at the top right. In 33 years, nobody has ever had an issue with that until today. Apparently, their HR people are incapable of reading an open loop 8. Therefore, instead of being able to do the sensible thing and use a tiny bit of ink to close the loop, they wanted me to fill the whole thing out again. They also made a big show of handing me a bottle of (generic) white-out. At least it matched the generic pens. You'd think a huge multinational company could afford name brand office supplies.
Finally, they tell me "Oh by the way, this is a seasonal job lasting until Christmas, and it has mandatory overtime, you'll be working at least 60 hours a week, probably closer to 100".
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!? The OT doesn't bother me, if they ask nicely. I don't do the mandatory shit unless I really like you. And I REALLY don't do seasonal jobs unless it's something I enjoy. Order picking in a freezing warehouse is not something I enjoy. I also really dislike drug testing in general, I consider it to be an invasion of my privacy... I can tolerate pre employment testing, but being threatened with weekly tests?
The best part: they asked why I didn't bring my high school diploma with me. This is when I realize they're serious. I tell them it got lost well over a decade ago, they say that's fine, I can have the school fax it. I try to explain that I went to a small private school that no longer exists. Nope, ain't happening. I can easily prove that I have some college under my belt, and I've worked jobs that normally require at least a bachelors degree. Nope, they want a copy of my diploma, and would I be able to provide my senior year transcript as well?
Seriously? You want.. proof that I graduated from high school, even though you were probably in diapers when I started high school?
I've had some bad interviews. This wasn't an interview, this was a shakedown. A shakedown where I lost about 2 hours of time that I'll never get back, and $2.55 in tolls. Not to mention the gas to get there (2 counties over).
My first clue about how things would be going should have been the email they sent stating I would be turned away without "proof of education". Wait, what? I lost my diploma ages ago during a move, and the school is long gone (small private school 650 miles away). Besides, surely someone in their mid 30s with a long, well documented work history has a GED or otherwise graduated, right? Oh, I'd be proven wrong soon.
The email also said the place was in the middle of nowhere on a dead end road, and also said I should refrain from using Mapquest or a GPS device to find the place (and went on to say if I did use a GPS, to put in a different city entirely). I ignored that and used a GPS and found my way right to their door. No dead end road anywhere near the building, it's very much NOT in the middle of nowhere (it's in an extremely busy industrial area), and hey, my GPS shaved off what I would estimate to be at least 15 minutes.
My appointment was at 3:30. I showed up a little before 3:15, signed in at the security desk, and sat down with several other people who were also there for a 3:30 appointment. Great, group interviews, I've seen that before in call centers and other high turnover jobs. We all sit down and BS a little bit. Finally a few minutes before 4, someone wanders up from the back. "Are you guys here for the 3:30?". We nod. The lady immediately gets bitchy and tells us we're late and they took the 3:30 group back at 3:00. I really wanted to scream Then why the fuck did you tell me my interview was at 3:30 you vapid bitch?!. The email even stated to be there no later than 3:30.
We shuffle into a big meeting room. There's 2 other applicants filling out paperwork. As we're sitting down, they hand me a thick stack of papers to fill out. Then they start telling everyone how we're supposed to sign our names. Where to sign. How many times. Shit, I must have walked into a Kindergarten class, right? Wait, no... these are adults. Then they give us a dire warning. You see, if we make a mistake.. even a tiny mistake.. we can't scratch it out. No, we have to re-do the entire stack of papers.
I have to fill it out 3 times. 15 pages, 3 times. The first time, because I accidentally wrote the wrong date (my bad). The second time, because... get this. They didn't like the way I write my 8's. When I write an 8, I leave an open loop at the top right. In 33 years, nobody has ever had an issue with that until today. Apparently, their HR people are incapable of reading an open loop 8. Therefore, instead of being able to do the sensible thing and use a tiny bit of ink to close the loop, they wanted me to fill the whole thing out again. They also made a big show of handing me a bottle of (generic) white-out. At least it matched the generic pens. You'd think a huge multinational company could afford name brand office supplies.
Finally, they tell me "Oh by the way, this is a seasonal job lasting until Christmas, and it has mandatory overtime, you'll be working at least 60 hours a week, probably closer to 100".
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!? The OT doesn't bother me, if they ask nicely. I don't do the mandatory shit unless I really like you. And I REALLY don't do seasonal jobs unless it's something I enjoy. Order picking in a freezing warehouse is not something I enjoy. I also really dislike drug testing in general, I consider it to be an invasion of my privacy... I can tolerate pre employment testing, but being threatened with weekly tests?The best part: they asked why I didn't bring my high school diploma with me. This is when I realize they're serious. I tell them it got lost well over a decade ago, they say that's fine, I can have the school fax it. I try to explain that I went to a small private school that no longer exists. Nope, ain't happening. I can easily prove that I have some college under my belt, and I've worked jobs that normally require at least a bachelors degree. Nope, they want a copy of my diploma, and would I be able to provide my senior year transcript as well?
Seriously? You want.. proof that I graduated from high school, even though you were probably in diapers when I started high school?
I've had some bad interviews. This wasn't an interview, this was a shakedown. A shakedown where I lost about 2 hours of time that I'll never get back, and $2.55 in tolls. Not to mention the gas to get there (2 counties over).
Jeez, they don't want much, do they? Did you have to sacrifice one of your fingers and sign over your soul as well?! 
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