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  • #1

    Hail the Bean!

    On this episode of "Crap I Pull On Vendors"...



    I am so f***ing burned out and tired this month; I should not be allowed to order stuff.

    Bonus:

    We are out of band-aids, and I figure it's probably a good time to inventory the first aid kit, and I know we have a list of what we need in there, so I was scouring the files on the computer to try and find it.

    I see a folder named "Emergency Preparedness", so I open it hoping to see the list...

    ...and there's a single file in there...

    ....and it's regarding zombie outbreak procedures....

    ....



    ....yeah, I must have done that at some point.
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Can I come work for you? I get yelled at if I suggest we post a note to FB detailing the best wine to drink with nuclear fallout, when there was a chemical fire a few miles away...

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    • #3
      I wanna work there, too. No, wait--I've read your stories.
      "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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      • #4
        I love it! That's totally something I would do.

        Once when I was working in the sign department at the grocery store, one of the CSMs asked me to make a sign to put on this one gumball/toy machine that was constantly eating quarters and not giving kids their prizes. Even though we put a sign on it, they'd ignore it, lose their money, and then beg for it back at customer service. So I put up a sign that said "Out of Order--Yes, really!"

        The manager brought it back later, smiling. He just said "I know, but we can't do that."
        "If you pray very hard, you can become a cat person." -Angela, "The Office"

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        • #5
          I read that and had a massive fit of giggles.
          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

          Now queen of USSR-Land...

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          • #6
            heh, back before my bf got out, they had some work orders to do that were boring & routine. so they kept putting in bs comments about 1.21GW equipment, 88MPH speedometer... it wasn't until someone used "Flux capacitor" that the supervisor caught on and put her foot down.

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            • #7
              All hail the holy bean!! Too awesome, bhskittykatt! I wish I had an outlet like that at my job. The closest thing is the one time I sent out an email after discovering many instances of the same mistake. I said, "Every time you <make this mistake>, you make bunny cry," and I included the famous pic at the bottom. A couple people said it was funny, nobody else really said anything.
              "Redheads have at least a 95% chance of being gorgeous. They're also concentrated evil." - Irv

              "This is all strange, uncharted territory and your hamster only has three legs." - Gravekeeper

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              • #8
                It took me a minute to finally catch it but once i did...

                LOLOLOL.
                If anyone breaks the three pint rule, they'll be running all night to the pisser and back.

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                • #9
                  It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it it by the beans of java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
                  PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                  There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                  • #10
                    Hmmm..care to share the zombie outbreak proceedures? I'm sort of responsible for safety at work and that would be nice to put in my site proceedure guide.

                    Knowing my manager she wouldn't see it until the fifth or sixth revision.
                    Random conversation:
                    Me: Okay..so I think I get why Zoro wears a bandana
                    DDD: Cuz it's cool
                    So, by using the Doctor's reasoning, bow ties, fezzes and bandanas are cool.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth fma_fanatic View Post
                      Hmmm..care to share the zombie outbreak proceedures? I'm sort of responsible for safety at work and that would be nice to put in my site proceedure guide.

                      Knowing my manager she wouldn't see it until the fifth or sixth revision.
                      Most of it was taken from the CDC: http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmat...ie-apocalypse/
                      Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth KiaKat View Post
                        Can I come work for you? I get yelled at if I suggest we post a note to FB detailing the best wine to drink with nuclear fallout, when there was a chemical fire a few miles away...
                        Obviously that would be Sunset Sarsparilla or Nuka Cola
                        "On a scale of 1 to banana, whats your favourite colour of the alphabet?"
                        Regards, Lord Baron Darth von Vaderham, esq. Middle brother to mharbourgirl & Squeaksmyalias

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                        • #13
                          Los Alamos NM does have a couple wineries; I seem to recall a number of years ago seeing a wine label with a mushroom cloud on it
                          "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                          "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                          • #14
                            Darn, the closest I every got to something like this was changing my out-of-office notification to read "I have gone home to take aspirin and hide" or something like that...that was the year we changed to our new computer system.
                            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Draper Mel View Post
                              Once when I was working in the sign department at the grocery store, one of the CSMs asked me to make a sign to put on this one gumball/toy machine that was constantly eating quarters and not giving kids their prizes. Even though we put a sign on it, they'd ignore it, lose their money, and then beg for it back at customer service. So I put up a sign that said "Out of Order--Yes, really!"
                              Still wouldn't work. There was a game called Race Drivin' back in the late 80s/early 90s. It had a cowl over the game and a seat that swung under the cowl, so all you could see was the screen in front of you. Well, we had one where the monitor broke so it was completely dark inside-- no picture, nothing off the sides-- totally dark. And our arcade was on the dim side, too. And, since the game was broke, per policy we put black electrical tape over the coin slots so you couldn't see them.

                              You can guess where this is going, right?

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