SC Classes

[Rapscallion]

Where do SCs get their training? I've got no idea, but I do know that they take lessons in particular facets of their hobby. There must be a training school somewhere, so what lessons do they run there?

Wearing scent - when a sledgehammer really is the best thing to crack a nut.

The purpose of this thread is to come up with as many of these lesson titles as possible. If it gets really good, I'll sticky it. Have at it!

Rapscallion

[Gurndigarn]

Well, you have to start with Sucking 101-- The Basics of Being an Asshole

Followed with Sucking 102-- Assholery Continued

Of course, for those who feel entitled, but were in the unfortunate position of having polite, respectful, loving parents, there are the classes Sucking 98-- Advanced Juvinallia and Sucking 99-- Pre-assholery.

[ArenaBoy]

I honestly think there are university classes that teach this.

Lying 300: How to lie about things in order to get you way. Basic as it's needed for returns and that sort of thing.

Excuse Making 205: You learn the tricks of making excuse in order to prove that it wasn't you that broke the phone but that your dog did it.

Demanding 200: This class is meant for basic demands, such as "GET ME YOUR MANAGER"!!!

Title Spewing 101: Learn how to shout that title of yours, works best for lawyers and CEOs.

[Argabarga]

Metaphysics 101 - Properties of the theoretical "Back Room"

Communications 200 - Selective comprehension, turn any sign/rule into a freebie

Non-Accountability 101 - Why nothing is ever your fault

[ArenaBoy]

Ghost Theory 315: Lessons to mention that employee known as "they". The one that never seems to exist.

[Hobgoblin]

Name-Drops 121: I know the manager/owner/Jimbob the Ginormous.

Entitlement-Whoring 400: This is an advanced course for those preparing to leave the SC School of Getting Your Own Way. It links all the previous classes to getting the most stuff you can for no money (preferred) or as little money (and then you won't be back) as possible.

[flybye023]

Idle Threats 101: How to Save Face when You're Losing. Required reading includes such classics as I'll NEVER shop here again; I'll Tell Everyone I Know how Bad Your Store Is; You've Just Lost a Sale; I'm Going to Your Competitor and others.

[BookstoreEscapee]

The Principle 300: Advanced reasoning strategies for when you are asking for the most ridiculously small, inconsequential thing.

Advanced Whiiiiining: Learn how to get just the right pitch and length of tone to make any 2-year-old proud. Requires weekly Repertoire Class to practice in front of your peers.

[CaroPhoenix]

Advanced Whiiiiining: Learn how to get just the right pitch and length of tone to make any 2-year-old proud. Requires weekly Repertoire Class to practice in front of your peers.

Will Fran Drescher (from the show, The Nanny) be teaching that class?

[DarthRetard]

Apeshit Tantrum 101- Drop your attitude 20 years.

Apeshit Tantrum 202- Expletives

Apeshit Tantrum 303- Entitlement Whore Training.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Will Fran Drescher (from the show, The Nanny) be teaching that class?

We're working with her people; just finalizing her contract...

[BlaqueKatt]

oppression 101-pulling cards such as, but not limited to-age, race, gender, religion, handicap, or anything else that makes the CSR look like a baddie for not giving you what you want.

how to queue jump while looking innocent-

how to rephrase a question an infinite number of ways until you get the answer you want-

[BusBus]

Concepts in English Fiction 100:"The Customer is Always Right"

[KaeZoo]

Always Right 101: Whatever you think this class is about, that's exactly what it's about. Anyone who tells you otherwise obviously doesn't want your business.

Comparative Social Status You are what you earn; or, Why The Person Serving Me Will Never Be My Equal

[powerboy]

Funding 101: Make them understand, that you are the reason, that they, the store is still open, because of your $0.25 and the employee still has a job.