Christmas songs that MUST DIE!

[Pixilated]

I hate the "jazzed-up" versions of traditional carols. Makes me want to scream, "Either sing it right or STFU!"

I would do ALL my Christmas shopping, for the next decade, at any store that played Weird Al Yankovic singing "Christmas at Ground Zero."

Years ago I was pulling an all-nighter at the small paper I worked for, and some station played a dozen or so Christmas songs in a vein similar to that of Al's. I laughed till I cried. Probably its being 3 a.m. at the time didn't hurt ... wish I could find those songs again. (Heck, I wish I could remember most of 'em!)

[Jay 2K Winger]

I hate the "jazzed-up" versions of traditional carols. Makes me want to scream, "Either sing it right or STFU!"

I would do ALL my Christmas shopping, for the next decade, at any store that played Weird Al Yankovic singing "Christmas at Ground Zero."

Years ago I was pulling an all-nighter at the small paper I worked for, and some station played a dozen or so Christmas songs in a vein similar to that of Al's. I laughed till I cried. Probably its being 3 a.m. at the time didn't hurt ... wish I could find those songs again. (Heck, I wish I could remember most of 'em!)

Followed by that other Weird Al classic, "The Night Santa Went Crazy."

[Kisa]

Now this is a thread I must reply to.

1) The damn hippo song! You do NOT want a hippo for Christmas! A hippo is not a good pet. It will eat you and then excrete your remains in gigantic piles all around the house. Besides that, the girl singing it has the most annoying voice in existance.

2) Santa Baby. It's so overplayed and overdone by thousands of artists, it gets old fast. The one I hate most is the one with the woman singing in a "sexy" voice. It's creepy imagining a busty 20 something blonde singing this to a white haired old fat man...

3) Oh, and the Red Shoes song. It's depressing and always makes me cry :/ No one wants to hear about little girls mothers dying on Christmas.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Marshmallow World by Dean Martin. It will make your brain bleed.

Hey! I'll take Dean Martin any day rather than those 9 zillion versions of "It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year" or "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

Oh, and BTW, Brenda Lee recorded a good version of "It's a Marshmallow World" for her Christmas album back in the early 60's (I lost count of how many copies of that LP I wore out over the years, but the title is Merry Christmas from Brenda Lee.)

There's a few select Christmas songs I like to listen to but only one of them I've heard on our Musak system at work ("Jingle Bell Rock" by Brenda Lee - that's the ONLY version of that song I acknowledge)

But the one I absolutely detest above all else, no matter WHO signs it, has got to be "It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Blech.

[Brojekk]

Lately ..every time I hear "It's beginning to look alot like Christmas" I imagine a montage of SC incidents with some road rage scenes thrown in for good measure..

[bainsidhe]

3) Oh, and the Red Shoes song. It's depressing and always makes me cry :/ No one wants to hear about little girls mothers dying on Christmas.

So much this. As much as I loathe overplayed Christmas music in general, this is the one song that must DIAF. It's not bittersweet or endearing, it's damn depressing and manipulative. *groan*

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Marshmallow World by Dean Martin. It will make your brain bleed.

Is this the one where the singer slurs his way through "favorite girl"? If so I had so much fun impersonating that when they played it at the swamp.

"I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day" by Wizzard.

No, I bloody well do NOT wish this. -.- Especially when working Christmas week, and I'm sure everyone else who works retail then thinks the same.

Don't care for that version much, but there is another one by some other group I liked.

The songs I loathe are the self-righteous downer ones--"Do They Know It's Christmas" and "Happy Xmas" and shit like that. I don't need to be reminded there's pain and violence and injustice in the world; can't I just forget about that for one measly day?

Oh, and "The Christmas Shoes," but fortunately I do not hear that one much.

ETA--also that one version of "Baby It's Cold Outside" by Tom Jones and a female "singer" who sounds like she's undergoing a gynecological exam administered by Captain Hook. I can deal with other versions of that song, but not that one. Fortunately I have yet to hear it played at the swamp.

[fireheart]

Now this is a thread I must reply to.

1) The damn hippo song! You do NOT want a hippo for Christmas! A hippo is not a good pet. It will eat you and then excrete your remains in gigantic piles all around the house. Besides that, the girl singing it has the most annoying voice in existance.

Um what?

We used to have this version of Twelve Days of Christmas that drove me NUTS.

Admittedly, there are only three days of the year when I actually look FORWARD to carols and Christmas songs:

1) Carols by Candlelight in Adelaide. (I actually WANT to go this year, or I'll go next year)
2) Carols by Candlelight in Sydney(?) which is broadcast on the TV every year.
3) Carols in the Domain in Melbourne-also broadcast on TV.

No crappy versions of "Last Christmas".

The only exception to the rule on those three is Hi-5. Oh dear lord....imagine the Wiggles hyped up on sugar and dressed in very brightly coloured outfits. Throw in two puppets and a revolving-door lineup of singers and....

I think it was last year as well, during one of the TV performances, they finished off with a version of Hallelujah (which I commented "yep, rabid squirrel on speed"). The guy who was holding the cymbals for the big crash near the end was standing there waiting for his cue....doesn't sound so bad right.
Except that the cymbalist was John Foreman (composer/writer/arranger for various TV shows and performances such as this) and he was standing in the pit with the cymbals, facing the camera, with a look of on his face, waiting for his cue.

[Spork4pedro]

Marshmallow World by Dean Martin. It will make your brain bleed.

This song is on our regular loop CONSTANTLY so Christmas season we actually get a break from it

Since we're a store know for our goods from around the world, we get all the regular Christmas songs PLUS all the songs from different languages. Nothing like hearing "¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?" three times a shift.

[Seshat]

Admittedly, there are only three days of the year when I actually look FORWARD to carols and Christmas songs:

1) Carols by Candlelight in Adelaide. (I actually WANT to go this year, or I'll go next year)
2) Carols by Candlelight in Sydney(?) which is broadcast on the TV every year.
3) Carols in the Domain in Melbourne-also broadcast on TV.

I don't often watch those, but last year(?) in the Domain one, there was an absolutely wonderful a capella 'Carol of the Bells'. About six female singers, ranging from low alto to high-high-high soprano/descant. The arrangement was either a canon or a fugue*, I couldn't tell which, but it was so beautiful and intricate.

* for those without music theory knowledge at this level; pretend I said 'a multi-section round'. It's an oversimplification. Each singer at some point sang each part of the song; just not together.

As for ones I loathe:

It's a damn shame, because it's actually a wonderful song, but 'Imagine' by Lennon gets so much overplay; especially at this time of the year.
Similarly, so do both the Hallelujah Chorus, and the Leonard Cohen 'Hallelujah'.

In all three cases, it's by people thinking 'hey, I'll play something that isn't an actual carol, so people won't be sick of it!' .... riiiight.

[fireheart]

Similarly, so do both the Hallelujah Chorus, and the Leonard Cohen 'Hallelujah'.

I am going to keep an eye out this year for John Foreman doing the Hallelujah chorus...it had all of my family giggling madly when we were watching it. (it's become a Christmas tradition for my grandparents to have the Carols (domain or candlelight) to be playing on TV either during dinner or during present-opening)

[Antares]

Sleigh Ride. I've loathed that song for as long as I can remember.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Leonard Cohen 'Hallelujah'.

Lucky... honestly, I wouldn't mind if that version was the one played in the supermarket (thank FUCK I don't work on checkouts any more, but I still have to hear the Christmas CD whenever I go shopping) but the one they favour is the X-Factor cover by Alexandra Burke. I hate that version.

The local 99p store has been playing Christmas songs since the beginning of November. I feel desperately sorry for the people who work there; basically, the music is every single annoying Christmas song you could think of played in a continuous loop.

Thing is, the only time I appreciate Christmas music is on Christmas Eve when I've had several vodkas. The only Christmas song that I can hear over and over and still love is the Pogues' "Fairytale Of New York". XD

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Got another one to add "Rocking around the Christmas tree"

[stitchwitch]

Got another one to add "Rocking around the Christmas tree"

I actually like that one. But I have to add any to the ones where they think that it's *cute* to have a chorus of school children sing it. It comes off more anoying than anything, especally when it has high notes.