Way to Get me On board

[NateTheChops]

On top of my job hunt, I've been trying to get into a bit of weekly therapy. Much as I love to unload online, there are things I need to get off my chest with a professional. Particularly since my stress has been leading to more meltdowns in the last few weeks.

Well, someone recommended a program at a hospital one town over. It would have been five days a week starting at nine in the morning, and today (the 31st for late readers) I was to go there at eight for orientation purposes.

Now, I was reluctant as all hell to do this, because I'm all ready kind of stuck in a group living situation. I don't want to leave a group to have to talk to a group, since it's basically the same thing that was causing my meltdowns to begin with. But I went just to show that I'm not dismissing leads. (Why is it I always to stick my hand into fire to prove to other people that it does in fact burn?)

Anyway, I show up, and there's this secretary.

Secretary: What's your name?
Me: NateSean.
Secretary: Daniel, okay I'll be right with you.

Strike One. Forgets my name not even in the space of five seconds since I told it to her. I said it clearly and as loudly as if I were speaking to you in a library.

She brings out the paperwork. When she returns with the paperwork, I asked her what the program exactly was about, because it wasn't explained to me. And pretty much it's a day program for people with substance abuse and mental health issues. It starts at runs for five hours, blah, blah, blah. Basically, not for me.

Me: Okay, well, I wasn't sure I wanted to do this before and I'm pretty sure now, so I'll be leaving.

Secretary: Well, may I ask why you were referred here?

Strike Two: None of your business.

Me: It doesn't matter because I'm leaving.

Secretary: (in a very patronizing tone) Well I'm just going to call whoever referred to and tell them that you're refusing to participate.

Strike Three: Threatening me.

Me: Um...ma'am, I'm here of my own volition. No one has the power of attorney over me and I came here of my own free will. So you can call whoever you like. I'm out of here.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

That's like a bad comedy routine! besides, it's not like she'd even make sense to them. Daniel? Really? Yeah, way to go 'lady.'

[Sapphire Silk]

I agree with everything you said about your experience, except one thing.

The lady asked, "May I ask why you were referred here."

Yes, it is none of her business. But she did ask politely, and you were kind of short with her (though I hardly blame you given she couldn't get your name right).

A better answer might have been, "I'm self referred, and this group doesn't address the problem I'm having. Therefore, I will look elsewhere."

I've known other people who've had this issue. Because so many people with mental health issues self medicate with drugs and alcohol, the assumption is ALL do.

Well, mental health care is not one size fits all, and addictions treatment is not appropriate for someone who does not have an addictions problem.

I do wish they would stop pushing that on people who clearly don't need it.

[LillFilly]

Reminds me of when I was referred to this teen therapy group because I seemed to have anger issues. The people I was grouped with were there for assault, stealing, carjacking, etc. Me...I just was always arguing with my parents. I didn't fit in at all and was bullied by the other teens. Luckily there was a visiting psychologist one session who realized I didn't belong and took me on as a client. Turned-out I had mild depression and, well, I'm better now. I hope you find a therapy that works for you.

[AccountingDrone]

Heh, back in 1998 I got 3 days off and a mandatory consult with a shrink because some moron at work was 'scared' by my apparent knowledge about blowing stuff up and guns and went to HR about me ... [a coworker and I had been talking about some car bombing or another and I mentioned that was why federal buildings put bollards up but that you still needed to pay attention to what was around you, people leaving packages sitting on the ground and such. All information that various governmental agencies put forth as safety information.]

So off I go to the shrink ... who finds out that i am an army brat, a military dependent and had a state concealed carry permit, a current hunting license and previously worked in security as an armed guard - and held 7 separate security clearances. I got cleared instantly.

[Eisa]

That reminds me of how I keep looking for books about treating comorbid disorders. I have more than one mental disorder. It would be nice to find something about how to deal with all of them. Instead, I can only find stuff about a mental disorder and substance abuse. I'm not a substance abuser. I've never been one. Tad annoying.

I wish you luck on finding a better treatment option, NateSean!

I'm looking myself...my last therapist DID refer me, but unfortunately, I now live 5 miles away from it. I can't really walk that.

[dalesys]

Me: Um...ma'am, I'm here of my own volition. No one has the power of attorney over me and I came here of my own free will. So you can call whoever you like. I'm out of here.

It's rather funny when the feeders on the PIC (Prison Industrial Complex) discover that their Club-O-Doom™ is a Nerf Bat.

I learned a lot from a program I was in where 90%+ where mandatory attendance. Mostly because I was there for me, not to impress a court.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Heh, back in 1998 I got 3 days off and a mandatory consult with a shrink because some moron at work was 'scared' by my apparent knowledge about blowing stuff up and guns and went to HR about me ...
SNIP
So off I go to the shrink ... who finds out that i am an army brat, a military dependent and had a state concealed carry permit, a current hunting license and previously worked in security as an armed guard - and held 7 separate security clearances. I got cleared instantly.

That. is. AWESOME! That's an amazing story, I want it and love it! Hey! Free three-days off! He must not have been from Texas or something. (Yes, reasonably certain you're not from there either, but point is, place where they're used to stuff like that.) Did you ever tell the dude about some of your other 'qualifications'? I know you're supposed to keep some of that under wraps, naturally, but... inquiring minds and all.

[Teskeria]

I have a daughter who is bipolar and when I was talking about her diagnosis with her therapist (she was a minor at the time), she said, Bipolar, depression and Opposition Defiance Disorder (now this is real I understand in adults). When I asked what the last is she said 'well she is always defying authority." I said 'so basically you are saying she behaves like a teenager?" "well, yes" 'perhaps you might consider that she IS a teenager?" The ODD was removed. (BTW like the majority of teens, she outgrew the defiance.)

[Polenicus]

I have a daughter who is bipolar and when I was talking about her diagnosis with her therapist (she was a minor at the time), she said, Bipolar, depression and Opposition Defiance Disorder (now this is real I understand in adults). When I asked what the last is she said 'well she is always defying authority." I said 'so basically you are saying she behaves like a teenager?" "well, yes" 'perhaps you might consider that she IS a teenager?" The ODD was removed. (BTW like the majority of teens, she outgrew the defiance.)

I grew up with a mother who was a clinical counsellor. The teenage years were NOT fun.

The short of it is? EVERYTHING is a disorder. EVERYTHING.

[AccountingDrone]

That. is. AWESOME! That's an amazing story, I want it and love it! Hey! Free three-days off! He must not have been from Texas or something. (Yes, reasonably certain you're not from there either, but point is, place where they're used to stuff like that.) Did you ever tell the dude about some of your other 'qualifications'? I know you're supposed to keep some of that under wraps, naturally, but... inquiring minds and all.

Wherever I work always has my full resume, it is their problem if they don't read it.

I can't help what I know, or having a bit darker mindset than some stupid bit of CS fluff who has no real understanding of the real world. I was never sheltered - I had been working from the time I was 16. She was not even part of the original conversation, it was between myself and the woman who shared my office. Besides, if I was going to kill someone or bomb work I sure as hell would not be discussing it with a coworker

[Seshat]

I've known other people who've had this issue. Because so many people with mental health issues self medicate with drugs and alcohol, the assumption is ALL do.

Yes - we've found that frustrating as well. Without a referral from a family doctor or other medical professional that specifically clears you of being a drug abuser, it can be hard to convince them that yes, your doctor and your pharmacist know and approve of everything you take.

That reminds me of how I keep looking for books about treating comorbid disorders. I have more than one mental disorder. It would be nice to find something about how to deal with all of them.

Anna has that problem. Her psychiatrist finally gave up trying to give her a diagnosis that fits in the DSM: instead, she has a diagnosis that gives the psych the authority to dispense the meds that keep her stable.

We know that. The psych knows that. The family doctor knows that. It doesn't matter that she's not got a 'proper' diagnosis: what matters is that she's functional and her true personality is free.

The short of it is? EVERYTHING is a disorder. EVERYTHING.

Yes, there are behaviour patterns in the DSM which fit just about everything.

I believe there are two criteria for whether you have a mental illness, or are just 'being a teen'/'being yourself'/'a natural thrillseeker'/whatever.

- whether 'you' feel trapped inside the disorder.
As an example, when I have a panic attack, I KNOW it's stupid, I KNOW I'm actually perfectly safe, I KNOW there's no reason to be afraid. But I am afraid, and I can't help it.
In my group therapy sessions, I've described that sort of feeling and had people nodding with perfect understanding - Not necessarily because they have panic attacks, but because they understand the feeling of the "self" being trapped by the disorder.

- whether the disorder negatively impacts your ability to function.
I think I'm ADD or ADHD or something similar. Not bothered to get diagnosed for it yet - I have enough more critical things going on medically.
But I sensory-overload easily. I cannot handle fairs, festivals and the like. I can't handle parties. Strobe lights freak me out. Put the TV on and try to talk to me at the same time and I'm unable to focus on either.



But anyway: that's my personal two criteria for whether something's an illness, or a personality trait.
I think there's something about that in the DSM, as well: it has to cause a impairment in the person's ability to function to be a disorder. If it doesn't, it's personality.

[Dragon_Dreamer]

I got referred to several psychiatric programs because of "ADHD." Everything from a daycamp for children with Bipolar, anti-social, you name it, where I got bullied unmercifully, and even got chased by a girl with a knife! I had to lock myself in the bathroom to get away from her, and you can guess who got in trouble for "provoking" her. Supposedly, the fact that I wouldn't give her part of my lunch when she threatened was "setting her off on purpose."

One of the boys took a tennis racquet, smashed it against the ground until it was mangled, then said he'd do that to my head. One of the last straws for me was when one guy, in attempt to steal a koosh ball from me at a "summer school," smashed my head into a wall.

Thankfully, it was drywall against wide studs, with no insulation. However, on the other side of the studs was a cinderblock wall, and I was DAMNED lucky my head didn't hit a stud. As it was, the wall was left with a beachball sized impression. Of course, I got in trouble for "provoking" him as well.

Same shrink who told my parents to send me to those also had me on a cocktail of Zyprexa, Dexadrine, and Depakote for "ADHD." Then told them that I *needed* to be "sedated" all the time. >.< I pretty much got VERY good at hiding pills. :P The Depakote he told my mother to "just flush" while I was at college, causing my seizures from withdrawal. (That had been the one I'd been scared to just stop on my own. Beware the teen with access to the Pill Guide. :P)

It was only at age 23 that the real diagnosis was reached, when I went on my own to a shrink I actually TRUSTED. Asperger's. Apparently, I'm textbook. And the coping strategies have helped me actually gain some interpersonal skills. Keep in mind I'd been seeing shrinks since the age of 7. >.<

It's been too long for me to sue the medication-happy shrink on my own, and my parents refuse to. He really had them snowballed. I don't think he's still practicing at least. I can give the name out in PM is people want to know who to stay away from in SE PA.


Still bitter. >.<

And yes, my mother was trying to be a shrink during this time. I agree with Polenicus. :P She still regrets the money wasted when I was a kid on all those therapists who didn't in the end actually DO much, especially make the problem worse. But she still trusts him, saying "but they didn't know what it was." Supposedly, I "outgrew" the ADHD. I still say that's a good sign I *didn't* have it. :P

Mom's now got her RN license, and is focusing on pediatrics, which I think is a *good* thing. From her experiences with me, it's made her more emphatic, and she actually is doing well at helping kids with Aspergers' or similar disorders, in addition to their physical health issues.

[NateTheChops]

Yes, it is none of her business. But she did ask politely, and you were kind of short with her (though I hardly blame you given she couldn't get your name right).

A better answer might have been, "I'm self referred, and this group doesn't address the problem I'm having. Therefore, I will look elsewhere."

True. At the time I just didn't feel like it was open for debate when I said that I wasn't interested. And it didn't seem like any answer I gave her was going to make a difference.

I got referred to several psychiatric programs because of "ADHD."

And incidents very similar to this is pretty much why. It's hard to be polite when you feel like you're being placed in a terrarium just to see how you interact with other specimens.

[dragon_wings]

I have a daughter who is bipolar and when I was talking about her diagnosis with her therapist (she was a minor at the time), she said, Bipolar, depression and Opposition Defiance Disorder (now this is real I understand in adults). When I asked what the last is she said 'well she is always defying authority." I said 'so basically you are saying she behaves like a teenager?" "well, yes" 'perhaps you might consider that she IS a teenager?" The ODD was removed. (BTW like the majority of teens, she outgrew the defiance.)

I was given a similar diagnosis around age 11. Add in ADHD and OCD. I was on meds until I was almost 18 when my mother and I agreed it wasn't helping.