Maybe SOMEONE should have listened (female issues within)

[SilverOrb]

So... I've had bleeding issues for years. Upon years. Upon years. Severe enough to the point where my life was significantly affected- I've lost relationships, spent a ton on feminine hygiene products, had multiple embarrassing moments. What normally lasts 5-7 days would be horribly heavy, and last anywhere from 7 days to 8 weeks.

I even ended up SEVERELY anemic, to the point where I almost needed hospitalized.

Why did I deal with it for so long, you may ask? Why didn't I go to the ER sooner, or find a doctor?

I had no insurance. I was having horrible dizzy spells, no energy (as a result of the anemia). I went to the ER, and just about begged them to help me. They did an exam, a few tests, and told me the doctor would be right with me. 45 mins later, a staff member comes in, hands me a stack of papers, and says I can leave. I ask for test results, an explanation... I am told to take iron pills, and that some women just have it bad.

Went to a second ER, with much the same result. They just about came right out and told me that I was exaggerating, and that I just needed to deal with it. Told me it was all in my head. After that, I was scared to go to the hospital.

A few years later though, I ended up with insurance at my current job and made an appointment with a doctor.

Final result? After SURGERY, they said that there was SO MUCH tissue that they couldn't even see. I got lucky and avoided cancer, but they said that I could easily have been whammed with it at any time. Apparently the situation put me in high risk.

Really?! In my head?! I'm nuts? Those idiots just making me feel like a stupid whiner could have caused me to end up with cancer. My doctor even said that it NEVER should have gone on this long. Said that they never should have let me go without handling that.

I'm sorry for the length of this, but I'm just so mad. I'm getting my life back now, but so many things happened over the years... Why would they do this? Maybe some of the medical professionals on this board can answer that for me. I know it was just a few people at a few places... There are amazing medical professionals out there... But why wold they just blow me off?

[Bright_Star]

I'm glad to hear that you got the treatment that you needed. Going to the ER is an excercise in extreme patience cause you can be there ALL day & ALL night. & not to mention the iffy treatment that often times you get. They figure that if you don't have insurance then all they'll do for you is stabilize you, slap on a band aide & hustle your ass out the door.
It shouldn't be like that but it is.

[AccountingDrone]

Ehm it even happens when you have medical care .. I gave up trying to get something done through the Navy, I was dropping golfball sized clots and pouring out around an ounce every hour and a half or so and would vary from skipping for 4 or 6 months and then bleeding out for anywhere from about 10 days to 3 months. [With a diva cup you can measure your output when you empty/clean/reinsert it.] See, I had PCOS. I finally got a civilian doc when Rob retired and she immediately put me on norethindrone which totally stopped the damned menses, and then arranged for my hysterectomy when she discovered the tumor on my left ovary when she ultrasounded me to check on my endometrial lining. [I have been dileriously happy with a hysterectomy despite hot flashes and lack of lubrication issues, but that is why they make lube]

[Seshat]

Partly, it's because you went to an ER for a long term issue. Emergency rooms are for emergent (just happened/just changed) issues that need urgent short-term treatment. That's what they have the facilities for, that's what they're designed and structured to handle.

Long term issues are supposed to be handled by your family doctor, who then refers you to specialists as necessary, and tracks the results of the specialists' work.

This is why I fratching fratching fratching health systems that are not universal fratching fratching elided for swearing.

Ahem.

Anyway... you did what you could with what was available to you, but you were seeing the wrong sort of health professional for the condition. That's part of why it took so long to get it sorted out.

[morgana]

Although it wouldn't necessarily have helped even if the OP had had a long-term physician.

I went through similar issues for most of my life. Started early (like age 9), clots, cramps so bad you could see the muscles of my belly move, a week on/week off/week on schedule . . . Over a 25-year timeline, seven different primary care physicians and three OB/GYNs pretty much blew me off about my issues. It's all in my head/I'm faking it/quit whining, etc. Funnily enough, they were all male . . .

Then, in my thirties, I finally went to a female gyn. She did tests, took samples, examined me carefully, sympathized; she understood. She reassured me that it wasn't 'normal', but it wasn't wildly unusual either, and unlike her cohorts she found a way to get me some relief.

Until very recently many physicians, especially male ones, simply dismissed menstrual difficulties as the weaker sex whining. Fortunately that's finally changing. Finally.

[Seshat]

OH, I do agree, Morgana. It was a female doctor who diagnosed me with PCOS as well.

Mind you, it's a male doctor who's currently arranging for me to see a gyn who will discuss hysterectomy (and other possible options). But he's a really fantastic GP, and a great find.

[Sapphire Silk]

Sorry to hear that happened to you, SilverOrb. That was a difficult situation you went through, and I sympathize because it is similar to something that happened to me in my mid 20's (adenomous hyperplasisa of the uterus, caused me nearly to bleed to death).

The medical term for your problem is dysmennorrhea, and it is not normal but in many cases can be managed with birth control pills to regulate the hormonal system. In some cases it turns to mennorrhagia (hemorrhage of menses).

Anemia is one of the problems it can cause, and iron supplementation is one of the treatments. If you don't treat the root cause, however, the problem will persist.

Seshat is correct in that the ER is not the place to seek care for a long term problem. ERs are fancy band aid stations: they're there to stablize the immediate problem, and refer you to your PCP for further evaluation and definitive diagnosis.

It is also a sad fact of life that the poor often have only ERs as a point of access to the health care system.

However, it is not a reasonable expectation to think that an ER doctor is going to figure out the problem in one visit with a couple of tests.

ER doctors exist to stabilize the immediate emergency problem, nothing more. IF the problem is not even an emergency, he gets you out the door because he's got real emergencies to take care of. It's harsh. But it's life. ERs are not a clinic. They are for EMERGENCIES.

Another rule of thumb all doctors go by is, "If you hear hoof beats outside the window, expect to see horses, not zebras." ER docs live by this rule. The first focus is on common problems, because 9 times out of 10 that's exactly what it is. If you go looking for the zebras first, you'll miss the diagnosis.

Unfortunately, medicine is not an exact science, and sometimes things do get missed. Which is precisely why you shouldn't depend on the ER for your care.

Sometimes people have expectations of medical and nursing staff that are too high; when we don't have an easy answer they get upset that they didn't get a diagnosis, or didn't get what they expected (though if pressed they can't often tell you what they really expected other than, "fix it!")

Unfortunately, we're not magicians. We can't wave a magic wand and have all the answers, or the fix to the problem.

I'm sorry the staff didn't seem to treat your complaint seriously. You say, "just about said I was exaggerating." That's not the same as flat out saying it. So I think some of your anger is based on your perception of your interaction with the staff, and less on what actually was said.

If you think you are being accused of that in a future encounter, find a new provider.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

"so much tissue"? like... old menses linings? Fibery thingies? .__. do I even want to know?
I'm glad it's over for you, Silver Orb. Sounds bloody awful. (... )
... and lost relationships? ... dare I ask? I'm trying my damnedest not to judge, but ... arg. I wasn't there, so I don't know. I can't know. Still kinda p.o.'ed on your behalf.

[Kisa]

I'm stuck in that same boat. My cramps are so bad, most of the time I can't even stand upright. I still have people tell me I'm exaggerating and that all women have to deal with the same thing so I should suck it up and deal with it. Really?! All women have to walk hunched over? All women can't eat? All women have to take Tylenol 3 with Codiene for cramps? Really?!

[Food Lady]

I hate those attitudes. Uh, hemhorraging is not normal, is not something every woman has to deal with, is NOT in your head. I am blessed I only had to deal with that a couple of times, and people took it seriously. I'm sorry, SilverOrb. What kind of people leave a relationship over that? I am so glad you got it taken care of.

[Eisa]

Oh dear, that's absolutely dreadful. My teenage years were fraught with menstrual hell...not that badly, but there were many days I could barely move due to the terrible cramps, and I can't even count the amount of clothes and bedding that ended up...well...stained. Birth control pills have been lovely, truly they have.

[emt_cookies]

Did you go during one of your heavy bleeding days? Could you tell them how many pads/tampons you soaked an hour so they had a general idea?

To be honest, sometimes the ERs cane come up with weird stuff as the diagnosis even though the simpler answer is something else. When I was so dehydrated that the triage nurse started an IV and pushed medications with a verbal order from a doctor, the ER doctor decided that my ovarian cyst must be the problem instead of food poisoning. I did have a cyst, but I personally think that the frozen sausage pizza that clearly stated "do not microwave" was the cause. I ate it cold and undercooked. I think they came to that conclusion because I didn't have a fever, but I haven't presented with a fever since I was like 10.