Don't know if this goes here, but....

[kansasgal]

Today was my son's first day as a Freshman at our local High School. I met with the nurse last week, because my son has multiple problems, including a peanut allergy. This allergy has been documented several times for the school (yearly since he started going) and is a serious, life threatening allergy.

I came home from work, and asked my son how school was, and he said horrible. He explained he went to lunch, and they were serving sack lunches that only had peanut butter sandwiches, and they wouldn't give him something different.

I called the school, but no one answered, so I called the District Superintendent's office and explained the situation. I started off by apologizing for calling with a problem on the first day, but explained what was going on and that I felt that even though it was the first day, they should have had something for kids with this allergy. Even a cheese sandwich..anything. As it was, my son was not allowed to eat lunch and came home hungry.

The Sup's office called Food Services, who then called me and bitched because "it was the first day, what do you expect" I told them that I expected them to be ready to deal with allergies like this, and that I know that there are at least 50 students in the school who have them (I saw the list) and that food services is obligated to make sure these kids get food too.

What would you guys have done? I hate to be sucky, but it is my son's life we're talking about, and it's not like they didn't know about it already.

[Food Lady]

First, you were NOT sucky! And blaming YOU for THEIR mess-up?? At the very least they should've apologized! No kid should've gone home hungry. What if he were also diabetic or hypoglycemic?

[kansasgal]

Thanks guys, I appreciate the support. I apologized several times during the call to the sup's office, as I didn't want to start off being "That MOM" and they assured me that they understood, but the food service person (I can't call her a lady) pissed me off.

I am actually going down to the school tomorrow to talk to the principal and counselors. I advised the school lady that if the school had listed the lunch menu today (as they do for every other day) I would have sent a lunch with him, but since they didn't, it left him (and others) in the lurch.

I also advised her I would be checking up, as my son's health is important.

Working in CS as I have for many, many years, I hesitate to bring out the sucky in me unless I have to, as I know it's not any fun to deal with, but at the same time I feel they needed to handle this differently.

Because of my son's health issues, I visit the nurse regularly to make sure he is being dealt with appropriately. He has GERD, Eczema, Asthma, the food allergy, ADHD and other issues. The Eczema was so bad at one point that he had to sleep in wet wraps, which are pajamas that have been soaked in water, wrung out and then he slept in them with dry pajamas over the wet ones. His health problems are no joke, and I take them very seriously, especially the peanut allergy, as it could kill him if they don't pay attention.

Thanks for giving me the feedback, I appreciate it.

[Misanthropical]

As moms, we are the best advocates for our children, it's part of the job description. You did what any self respecting mom would have done and should not feel bad at all.

[Sapphire Silk]

kansasgal: next time something like this happens, do not apologize. You make yourself look passive aggressive.

What you want is assertive.

"My son has a documented peanut allergy. I discussed this with the nurse before classes began. Food Services was notified. There is no excuse not to have suitable food on hand for him, and my expectation is that this will never happen again."

Period.

Suppose your son, out of hunger, had tried scraping the peanut butter off the sandwich or eating something else out of the bag that probably got contaminated with peanut oil?

He could have died.

You were so not sucky.

[kaherbert]

Plan of attack

This is completely US law - I'm assuming because of the timing you are US based. I'm a teacher and I'm allergic to peanuts. I know people don't want to be "THAT PARENT" my parents turned into "that parent" after my PK teachers forced my hands into peanut butter, then again in 5th grade when they found out a classmate was threatening to rape me in very graphic terms and he kicked me in the throat. Saved my life both times.


1. Call the head administration back (campus level has nothing to do with the food served it is a district level decision) Tell them about the follow up phone call. Ask the why the MOST DEADLY food allergy was served as the only option and that if the head of food service does not call back with an apology, and their lawyers doesn't give you assurances in writing that peanut safe food will be served every day - you are going to the news organizations. The news people are out for blood about schools right now.

2. Have your son write an e-mail to the principal explaining what happened and ask if in the future I can not eat the lunch provided, who in the school should I go see about correcting the problem so I get lunch that day? He is a freshman he needs to start taking care of his business.

If you haven't 504ed your son - Do it YESTERDAY. (504 is for medical conditions that are not learning disabilities but can interfere with learning).

This is kind of delicate - but if your son is a Title I student, meaning he gets free or reduced lunches - they just violated a boat load of federal regulations and could get all their title I funding pulled. Use that leverage if you have it.

[RetailWorkhorse]

You were not sucky, you handled that with dignity and poise.

I'd have gone down with a baseball bat. But then I watched my Dad do that for my sister and my Mom's Dad did it for her as well.

[fireheart]

You have done the right thing.

The Food service sucks to hell. What, did they assume that the parents of kids with allergies would merely send their kids to school with their own food?

[Seshat]

No, they probably didn't really 'believe' that allergies are real. Or GERD, FODMAP, Ceiliac, IBS, diabetic, kosher, halal, and other dietary restrictions.

Unfortunately, I've met people like that.

Unfortunately, far too many organisations that are supposed to cater to people with needs are like that.
(EG: We can't get Meals on Wheels, despite being a low income family with two disabled members. Why? Because I require GERD, diabetic, low-acid, no-seafood. The other disabled member of the household requires FODMAP.)

[kansasgal]

I took your advice and went in to talk to the principal of the school today, as well as called the sup's office again.

I thanked the principal AND the school nurse, as they both gave up part of their lunch so my son could have something, and the principal let him sit in the conference room in the office so that he wasn't around peanuts (it normally doesn't bother him, but with everyone eating it, it did through him into a little asthma attack).

I told the sup's office what food service told me (get over it, it's the first day) and that I expected, from now on, that whenever they served sack lunches (field trips, whatever) that there would be a sack lunch for my son with a NON peanut alternative, and that this was non-negotiable.

The sup's office agreed, called food services into the call, and they were royally chewed out for not thinking this through.

Again, I appreciate all the help from you guys.

[Geek King]

One thing I might change in your position kansasgal: If there is no posted lunch from here on, go ahead and pack one for your son. Just in case.

I think you were perfectly reasonable in handling the situation. I do find it a bit dumb that they had a list of kids with severe allergies beforehand, but somehow food services didn't prepare for it. Someone dropped the ball there. The food lady should not have called you at home at all. It was very unproffesional, and I hope she gets seriously talked to about it.

[LadyAndreca]

Yikes! My sister works in the food service for the city schools in her area (a fair-sized city), and I showed her this thread and she had no words for that mess execpt "That does NOT happen!" She's told me in the past about how EVERYTHING that gets served in her schools not only has to pass the allergy test and all the federal regulations to make sure they keep their funding, but her office also has to eat it before the kids ever see it to make sure it's edible.

[Kirkygirl]

LadyAndreca, thank your sister for her awesomeness for the rest of the board. I wish that so many other services would follow their example because yes, there is a lot of rules that people need to follow. This thread, however, shows where rules can and should be broken.

[jedimaster91]

her office also has to eat it before the kids ever see it to make sure it's edible.

I wish someone would do that here. I've seen building materials more edible than some things I was served for school lunch.

[kansasgal]

Thank her for me! Some of the food served at the school turns my stomach.