Dentist called me ugly

[42_42_42]

I asked my dentist about doing a whitening treatment and he won't do it because of my problem of already having extremely sensitive teeth. Most of the discoloration has come off since we switched to an electric toothbrush, though. But dentists and doctors both take oaths that they are supposed to look out for their patient's medical best interests, geez!

[MoonCat]

Absolutely, postively look for another dentist! NO doctor who urges you to have a medical procedure that would cause you harm is worth your time and money, and in fact is doing the opposite of what he's supposed to do!

As for beauty--hell, everybody has their personal definition. Just because you don't fit this guy's--who cares? Who the heck is he to decide if you're attractive or not?! He's an asshole.

[Seshat]

Pfft on cosmetic 'flaws'.

Just in my teeth, I have .. let's see:

* Discolouration on one of the upper incisors (two different kinds of off-white on that tooth.)
* A black spot on the left upper canine
* Both canines have come in shaped and positioned 'funny'
* My upper teeth are jammed together, my lower incisors have sizeable gaps between them
* Many, many black spots on the back side of the teeth, and on the molars. (Apparently the enamel is strong, just discoloured.)
* An uneven gumline, especially the upper one.
* Other flaws mostly noticeable only to me and dentists.

Do they matter? Well, the funny-positioned canines do slightly because they have a small effect on my 'bite': on the efficiency with which I can use my teeth.
The discolourations matter in that the dentist makes sure to probe them for enamel strength every visit.
The jammed-together upper teeth do because I couldn't floss well enough, and both front upper incisors now need a filling.

Otherwise? Meh. Nope. Even the uneven gumline is uneven-but-healthy.


Like I said in my last pose: perfection looks plastic. You don't want to be Barbie.

[dalesys]

You don't want to be Barbie.

But that bitch has *everything*!

[Maria]

First, I really wish you could go to my dentists. They are the best.

Hey, I know this is a long shot, but sometimes I find resources in unexpected places. Would you be willing to ask if your office knows of anyone in the Phoenix, AZ area who would provide the kind of high-quality, non-pushy care you receive? And you're totally right about the esteem stuff -- you pretty well said, point for point, what my life coach has been telling me since even before this happened.

I wanted to say thanks again, to everyone, for the kind words that are helping me to get myself out of that negative place and back where I can be my best again. Couldn't ask for more! Seshat, your most recent post is particularly encouraging and uplifting, and I appreciate it. You're so right; expecting uniformity and perfection causes a person to miss so much beauty and wonder in the world. As my self-esteem improves, I find that society's definition of what's good enough, and what needs to be fixed/changed to be acceptable, seriously offends me. I finally figured out I'm actually not useless, I'm finally going to school, my sister's teaching me to fly, I'm even blowing her out of the water with my physics work... I'm pretty sure that even if it were risk-free and cost-free, looking like Barbie would be a detriment, not a benefit, to my life goals... though I wouldn't mind having her car. I could pay for a lot of school, by selling it!

[Catwoman2965]

Definitely find someone else. This guy sounds like he's trying to push the most expensive, and not always necessary procedures on you. That's one reason why I left my last dentist, not only was he was constantly trying to offer me all kinds of cosmetic services, but he told me I should ahve all my metal fililngs replaced as "they'd look better" Um no, I don't think so. They are far back and no one sees them. So I switched.

[dragon_wings]

though I wouldn't mind having her [barbie] car. I could pay for a lot of school, by selling it!

Clarification mine.
I like how you think.

[MiloMorai]

Shop around, hon. What he did has no excuse. It's one thing to promote a service, but it's another thing entirely to force it on you. I don't even find it appropriate that he asked you in the first place.

I hope you can find a dentist that is more interested in helping you than in profiting from you. Ask your family. Ask your friends. Ask your coworkers. If your work has a dental plan, ask for references.

If you don't feel comfortable right away, don't go back. Try someone else.

It took me a long time to find my current dentist and he's just freaking awesome. I cannot say enough good things about him.

This^^. All of it, I finally found a great dentist a couple years ago. It is worth the search.

[blas]

Wow. My dentist was showing me what I can have done to fix the gap in my teeth, and he said "You do know that you're the only person who thinks it's a big deal, right? It's not hurting your other teeth and you look fine with it. But if you absolutely want to have it filled, we can schedule it."

I'm so sorry some people are so unprofessional and only care about money. And so damn hurtful!

[Seshat]

Seshat, your most recent post is particularly encouraging and uplifting, and I appreciate it. You're so right; expecting uniformity and perfection causes a person to miss so much beauty and wonder in the world.

Thank you. I can catalogue a whole bunch more 'flaws' in my appearance if you want. :P But as with my teeth, the only ones which matter are the ones which affect the functionality of my body.

Blas: I like the way your dentist thinks.


To me, this injured Monarch butterfly is no less beautiful than his uninjured fellows.


Edit to add: If I could have Barbie's house(s) and car(s) and apparent income .....

[Aethian]

Thank you. I can catalogue a whole bunch more 'flaws' in my appearance if you want. :P But as with my teeth, the only ones which matter are the ones which affect the functionality of my body.

Blas: I like the way your dentist thinks.


To me, this injured Monarch butterfly is no less beautiful than his uninjured fellows.


Edit to add: If I could have Barbie's house(s) and car(s) and apparent income .....

Clicked on your link and I had multiple warnings for it carrying a trojan, can you link the picture any other way?

Also, I have nothing to add what others have already said.

[Seshat]

Changed it to a link direct to the image.

[Redbeard]

Had a dentist that decided he wanted to bill the insurance company for some extra work, so without authorization or even mentioning it to me, he put some bond on my canines and filed off the points so that they are now even with the incisors.
I could have stabbed him in the fucking head for that, but he was the only dentist in 20 miles that would take my insurance

[Seshat]

!!!

My canines might be a bit weird, but they're MY CANINES. You don't touch them without asking me first!

I'd be pretty damn stabbity too.

[Maria]

Thank you for sharing, Redbeard. I had been worried about that kind of thing, but I was also kind of tuning that out because it sounds so paranoid, you know? Obviously, though, it's within the realm of possibility, and this guy has already shown a complete lack of respect for my decisions. I had already made the decision to cancel the follow-up visit as soon as they open tomorrow, but it was just an uncomfortable necessity. Now I feel confident and intelligent, because it's not just me being irrationally scared, I really am doing it because I want to protect my physical well-being! (And my life coach is really excited that I figured this out, too... he says thank you, to you all.)

And my sister says you guys are totally right -- when we met in person for the first time, she decided to help fix my self-worth issues by scrutinizing my appearance and telling me what was wonderful and beautiful about every little difference she could find. It was the perfect approach for the way I think, and I go back to those things she said, every time I feel not-so-good about myself. Anyway, I thought she had covered it when she talked about my smile in general, but I found out this week that she didn't say a word about my slightly misaligned teeth because in all her careful scrutiny, she didn't even notice. Obviously it's NOT a problem!

Oh! Need to run out the door, but before I forget, Seshat, that butterfly is awesome!! I am not okay with insect-y things, but wow... that was amazing to see, and to read about. I want to go see some in the wild now, even if they do kind of give me the creeps!