Facepalm

[Blue Ginger]

Billy Thorpe's Most people I know (think that i'm crazy)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QezNE...eature=related

Best. song. ever.

[Blade]

NIN "The Perfect Drug"?

[Sapphire Silk]

The theme song from M*A*S*H

Which, folks, if you know the title and words are . . .

'Cause Suicide is Painless,
it brings on many changes,
and I can take or leave it as I please.


Another possibility is Tourniquet by Evanescance.

[Eisa]

How about ICP: "Suicide Hotline" while we're at it?

"Well, I'm about to fucking kill myself..."

[Seshat]

Eurythmics: "Sweet Dreams"

Some of them want to use you,
some of them want to be used by you.
Some of them want to abuse you,
some of them want to be abused.

Gary Jules: "Mad World"

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad;
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.

[Der Cute]

Dylan - Everybody Must Get Soned

[Sapphire Silk]

This thread reminds me of my junior year high school English teacher. She was a bit of a nervous nelly, and students like to take advantage of it.

She was chronically late to class. One day we got tired of waiting in the hall for her. I used my driver's license to pick the lock, and let everyone in. Someone suggested keeping the lights out as a prank and making her think no one showed up for class.

It worked; she said "Where is everyone?" as she opened the door and shrieked when she turned on the lights and saw us all sitting there staring at her. She couldn't figure out how we got in there, since I didn't admit to picking the lock and no one narced on me.

The following year, she had a "nervous breakdown" and was hospitalized. When she returned (and yes, this was very mean, and I wasn't there when it happened) the students greeted her with a chorus of the Rolling Stone's "Your 19th Nervous Breakdown."

[dalesys]

Dylan - Everybody Must Get Stoned

Titled: Rainy Day Women #12 & 35

[dalesys]

"Hello. Due to recent budget cuts, your call has been routed to the new combined voicemail system of the Suicide Prevention Hotline and the New York Public Library."
Hotline (by David Buskin) performed by Mike Handley at Swannanoa


I couldn't take any more, I was fresh out of hope
Racked with despair, at the end of my rope
Lookin' with longin' out at the window ledge
I was gonna do myself in, but before I got done
And left on that Club Dirt vacation for one
I thought that The Suicide Hotline might bring me back from the edge
With a trembling hand, I dialed the number, clutching the phone
My life was in the balance, but now, I would not be alone

"Hello. Due to recent budget cuts, your call has been routed to the new combined voicemail system of the Suicide Prevention Hotline and the New York Public Library."
"If you are calling to inquire about a book, and you know the title of the book, press '1'."
"If you are calling about a book, and you don't know the title, but you do know the name of the author, press '2'."
"If you know the date and place of publication, and either the title or the name of the author, press '3'."
"if you've already taken poison, press '4'."
"if you've already taken poison and you know the name of the poison you've taken, enter the first three letters of the name followed by the 'pound' sign."
"The 'pound' sign is located directly below the '9' on all Touch-Tone™ phones."
"If you've taken poison and you're calling from a rotary phone, please be sure to return all outstanding library books as soon as possible."
"If you are a potential leaper, but you are still inside the building, press 'star' '1'."
"If you are outside the building, on the ledge, press 'star' '2'.
"If you've already jumped and you are speaking from a cellular phone, and you're above the eleventh floor, press 'star' '4' '3' followed by the 'pound' sign."
"If you are below the eleventh floor, you may skip the 'pound' sign."

"if you're contemplating suicide, but are uncertain as to method, please stay on the line for more options."
"if you're contemplating suicide, and you'd like to leave a note, but you can't read or write... the library's Adult Literacy program meets 3:300 Tuesdays at City Hall. Go to The lobby, and follow the instructions on the sign."
"if you're contemplating suicide over a former lover, press 'star' '7'. If you are just a little lonesome, call 1-900-HOT-BODS, ask for 'Rusty'."
"if you're contemplating suicide, and you're George Steinbrenner... Go for it, dude!"
"To repeat this menu of options, press any key or hit the phone against your head hard."
"To speak with a live operator, please stay on the line..."
"Your call is important to us. All of our operators are currently busy, but if you stay on the line your call will be answered in the order it was received. This is the last announcement you will hear."
"... Now playing in Theater 2, 'Flipper!' starring 'Flipper!' Show times are 12, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 2, 4, 6 and 8:45."

That was it, I had had it, this was the worst! I went back to the window, but there were people there first!
So I got into line, to wait for my turn to come up. Well, it was moving okay, 'cept there was nowhere to whiz, and them some yokel from Utah askin', 'Is this for Les Mis?' Yup.
Well, I inched my way along the ledge till I was next in line, when out of nowhere came a traffic geek and pointed to a sign: 'Restricted Suicide Zone. Jumping by Permit Only. 8:30 to 11:00 AM Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. All Unauthorized Bodies Will Be Towed At Owner's Expense.'
I give up. It's impossible. Don't even try. Guess I just gotta move to New Jersey to die. Only thing there, is, how would you know when you're dead?
I guess I'm gonna die when I die, nothin' else I can do, but after... but as for burnin' in Hell after what I've been through... Yo! Burn this! I could do hell in a walk!
'Cause it may not be as hot, but it's harder than hell in...
New York, New York.

[Seshat]

Razors pain you.
Rivers are damp.
Acids stain you
And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren't lawful.
Nooses give.
Gas smells awful,
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker, Resume

[Ree]

Well this thread really went on a downer, didn't it?

How did we get from joking about "Basket Case" playing as the on hold music to all this dreary downer stuff?

[Ben_Who]

The Free Beer and Hot Wings radio show decided to interview the guy in this article.

The music they played while he was on hold? Radiohead's "Creep."

[rose_metal_nz]

Does "Garbage - I Think I'm Paranoid" fit? :P

[fma_fanatic]

At least it wasn't Brain Stew.