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We Speak American in America

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  • We Speak American in America

    Something like 59% of my hospital's patient population prefers to communicate in a language other than English. For the majority of these patients, their preferred language is Spanish. Today I was working in an area that would have 3-4 new patients at a time. In an effort to keep the interpreter from hating me, as soon as the new batch of patients showed up, I'd pick out the likely Spanish speakers and see who wanted an interpreter present.

    Most of the conversations went:
    Me: I'm TPM and I'm a nurse here at Hospital.
    Person: No habla ingles. OR Only a little English. OR *blank look* or Family Member: He doesn't speak English but I do.
    Me: Voy a traer un intérprete. (I'll get an interpreter)

    Some of the conversations went:
    Me: I'm TPM and I'm a nurse here at Hospital.
    Person: Hi nurse, I've got this medical issue.
    Me: Do you speak English or would you prefer an interpreter?
    Person: English is just fine. Now, about my medical issue.....

    But there's always that one....
    Me: I'm TPM and I'm a nurse here at Hospital.
    Person: OMG I can't believe I'm stuck here at "ghetto" hospital. This sucks.
    Me: I'm sorry to hear that. Before we start fixing your Medical Problem, do you speak English or would you prefer an interpreter?
    Person: Arghale bargle blah. This is America, we should all speak American. Arghle bargle blah.
    Me: Ok. So, tell me about your Medical Problem....

    Yes, he really did say we should speak American in America.
    Also, this patient didn't really have any choice in what hospital he went to as he was brought in by law enforcement to be cleared for jail. Maybe you shouldn't try doing stupid things like running from the cops and getting tazered when high on PCP and you won't end up in the "ghetto" hospital with me asking if you speak English.

  • #2
    Bwahahahahahahahahah

    Oh, the druggies can be sooo entertaining sometimes.

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    • #3
      Quoth trailerparkmedic View Post

      Yes, he really did say we should speak American in America.
      Well you folks do speak another variation of English.
      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

      Now queen of USSR-Land...

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      • #4
        I'll just leave this here:

        http://satwcomic.com/what-did-you-say
        My NaNo page

        My author blog

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        • #5
          And I'll just leave this here. Contains strong language.
          Long days, short nights, a bottle of NOS makes it all right.

          Canadians Unite !

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