Self Sighting. (Ah, Needles...a longish tale?)

[Fudgethatkay]

I was a sucky patient one time. But...I kind of have...a reason...kind of.

Background; When I was a little kid, I went to doctor often. You know how they sometimes prick the kid's finger for quick blood test? I loved that. I was always excited to go through blood tests or shots, until I was 11...when I was being tested for Diabetes, I think it was...they had to withdraw blood from my arm. The nurse at the time was not kind, or easy going, and jammed the needle inappropriately in me, so I was in pain. And of course, she couldn't get enough, so she had to do it again...since then, me and needles were no longer friends. /End background.

Due to what I explained, giving me shots, or putting me through blood tests, or even pricking my finger, is now a challenge even for me. I tried to donate blood once, to get over it, but got turned away because when they mentioned they had to prick my finger I got pale and shaky.

When I was 19, I was very ill. With what, is not a problem so much anymore, but my doctor ordered me to go to another clinic to get a blood test. I made my boyfriend come with for support, cause I KNEW it wouldn't end well.

The first clinic, it was only a chair. I started freaking out cause I knew what was coming, and the nurse stopped me. She told my boyfriend I'd need to go to another clinic nearby where they had a bed, cause she was afraid I'd pass out in the chair. He sighs, annoyed, but takes me.


Good thing too. At the second clinic, they start to prepare, but I start shaking. They call in my boyfriend to hold my hand.

He ended up having to hold me down. See, even if they use pediatric needles on me, I still feel them. And it DOES hurt me. I went crazy when the started. I started kicking and was yelling and crying in different languages. He admitted later it was amusing to him, but I was in hell.

I ended up kicking so much I knocked a painting off the wall. When I was gone I heard the nurses muttering at me. I did feel bad, but I can't help how I react...

I turn into a psycho. Even today, as I went in for a finger prick during my doc appointment, the nurse noted how pale and shaky I was today as well. (I am now 21)

I react too extreme in these situations. I know I do. I regret it afterwards, cause I know it should not be a big deal...but needles just trouble me severely. I even get sick seeing them on TV now.

So there you have my shame. I was a crappy patient. I tend to be over this stuff. I wish I had better self control, but I lose it the moment I know its coming.

[csquared]

Thanks for sharing. Now I don't feel so bad.

I swear that as a kid, my doctor grabbed the biggest needle and aimed for a vein on the far side of my arm.

These days, better equipment, better techniques, it almost nothing. The last time I got a shot at the doctor's office, it was two, in the back side. The nurse was so quick with it, that I almost questioned if she actually did it. After about 15 minutes, I had the proof that I actually got the shots (both meds leave a burning sensation).

Yet... I still cringe. I can't watch them. At least I don't freak out. But still, pretty bad for a "big, burly guy." Now that I have to do the glucose test twice a day, I have to stop, take a breath and hope that I don't jerk the lance away and miss. Speaking of which, it is time.

I hope you can find a coping strategy.

[AccountingDrone]

How about getting an auto lancet like from a glucometer kit and practicing giving yourself fingersticks? You can adjust the depth settings so they range from barely making a mark in the skin to OUCHIES!!!. You can start off at the barely there depth and work your way to medium and then hopefully fingersticks will no longer bother you. It may also help with any other needle use.

[fma_fanatic]

I have a problem with needles. I used to hate taking medicine as a kid for my chronic ear infections, so my parents would take me to the doctor who would write a prescription for pencillin via needle. They thought that would cure me and make me behave. It just made me hate needles.

The only time it doesn't hurt or I'm not bothered is when the cute guy from the PT lab across the way does the blood draw. I have no idea why...

[lachesis]

You don't have to feel bad. I react the same way. I tend to struggle and scream. I've even had my doctor prescribe an anti-anxiety med when I had to get blood taken. 'Course, that all went to shit when I went to the lab next door to my doctor's office and I forewarned the vampire phlebotomist that I had a very severe fear of needles and had taken an Ativan before I got there upon my doctor's orders. She said she nor anyone else in the lab felt comfortable sticking me and told me to go elsewhere. Yeah, I finally got up the nerve to actually GO and got to the point where I was sitting in the chair and THEY refused ME! *scratches head*

You'll get better, I promise. My dentist's staff is incredible. When I had to get a bunch of cavities filled, his assistant hid the Novocaine needle until the actual time for me to get it. THEN she had me close my eyes and squeezed my hand until it was over. It's all in how compassionate and how much you trust the staff that's doing the procedure, I think.

[Maria]

See, even if they use pediatric needles on me, I still feel them. And it DOES hurt me.

I'm very similar, right down to the pediatric needles (blue butterfly ftw). Maybe you already know what I'm about to say, but I was *shocked* to discover all of this at age 31, so I don't want to assume. You're allowed to hurt. I know many people barely feel a thing and that's great, but we're not all wired the same. It really, really does hurt some people. And even if it doesn't hurt, it's okay be scared or nervous, and to request special handling or whatever you need. You can even ask people online what works for them, if you aren't sure what might help. (I have some ideas but you didn't ask specifically, so I don't want to be all pushy if you didn't want to go there.) And I'm going to have to put a rocking chair on my front porch after saying this, but you're only 21... hang in there, it really does get better.

[Fudgethatkay]

I'm very similar, right down to the pediatric needles (blue butterfly ftw). Maybe you already know what I'm about to say, but I was *shocked* to discover all of this at age 31, so I don't want to assume. You're allowed to hurt. I know many people barely feel a thing and that's great, but we're not all wired the same. It really, really does hurt some people. And even if it doesn't hurt, it's okay be scared or nervous, and to request special handling or whatever you need. You can even ask people online what works for them, if you aren't sure what might help. (I have some ideas but you didn't ask specifically, so I don't want to be all pushy if you didn't want to go there.) And I'm going to have to put a rocking chair on my front porch after saying this, but you're only 21... hang in there, it really does get better.

See as much as my boyfriend teases me for being a pansy, he is the only who gets it. Usually a lot of nurses and my own mother actually insult me for saying I feel pain. ("No you don't, you just want attention!" or "Come on, get a grip, girls younger than you don't act like such babies")

Ugh. I've fainted over this twice as well. Looking away won't help me, cause FEELING it and KNOWING WHATS THERE is going to be the trigger

Its embarrassing for me, but I really can't help it. Only one nurse I had was understanding, she let me listen to my music at a loud volume and bite my free arm while she took my blood. It was the only time since I was eleven that I didn't cry during the test.


Then there was the time I fought with the doctor for two hours cause I refused to get an IV when I was in the emergency room for severe dehydration mixed with bronchitis. He only relented cause I kept drinking gatorade and water in front of him, and threatened to put in the needles anyways if I stayed so loud.

Sorry for rambling, but so many needle incidents stick out, even if I wasn't sucky. .-.;

[spark]

I'm 34. And I don't go psycho, I just faint. :P I don't even have any bad experiences, the doctors and nurses have always been nice and I've very rarely had to be jabbed more than once or twice, even though I am apparently a hard stick. I just faint anyway. Not always, but I do always get dizzy and see stars.

Reactions to this kind of thing are weird as hell, frankly. I wish I knew why it makes me faint. I can cut myself open with a frigging razor and not flinch. I'm always kind of tempted to offer to get them blood that way.

[Sparky]

When I was a child, I was terrified of needles. Always cried. Couldn't help it. Total nervous wreck. Small spaces didn't bother me at all.

Today needles don't bother me. I don't enjoy getting shots and I look away, but at worst I just say "eeeeeeee." (Once explained to a nurse who was preping me for surgery, "These are the rules. You get to poke me. I get to say eeeee.") Needles? No prob.

But put me in an MRI machine? Total panic! Total. Can't help it. Can't control it.

Put me in the dentist's chair? Same thing. I was always afraid of the dentist and with age it's only gotten worse. Now I take Valium for any procedure, and even a checkup and cleaning makes me very anxious. (In fairness to me, my teeth are quite sensitive.)

Phobias are things that happen to us, not things we choose to do. We can't help it.

[BeeMused]

Did you freak out on purpose? No? Thought so! Ergo: Not sucky!

Visiting a specialized counselor or therapist might be a good idea, so you can develop coping strategies.

[raudf]

To those who say tell you that you don't feel pain with needles, I cry bull. I also bruise in the most spectacular way. Just had to do the three hour glucose test a couple of weeks ago, and I was sporting bruises fit to make people think my husband beat me.

And they hurt. Not the lab's fault that they hurt, but that's just how it goes with me. Never been afraid of needles, but they do hurt.

[Fire_on_High]

To those who say tell you that you don't feel pain with needles, I cry bull.

Sorry but for some of us it really is true. Doesn't hurt a bit, but then other things may be miserable that don't bother you. Also depends on what kind of needle and what's being done with it...had shots that burned like fire, but hardly feel more than a point of coldness for the needle tip for blood draws.

[raudf]

Sorry but for some of us it really is true. Doesn't hurt a bit, but then other things may be miserable that don't bother you. Also depends on what kind of needle and what's being done with it...had shots that burned like fire, but hardly feel more than a point of coldness for the needle tip for blood draws.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. I was referring to those who work with needles all the time and if you whimper or wince, they tell you, "Oh, it didn't hurt!" And then after the task is done, "See, that wasn't so bad!"

[Fudgethatkay]

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. I was referring to those who work with needles all the time and if you whimper or wince, they tell you, "Oh, it didn't hurt!" And then after the task is done, "See, that wasn't so bad!"

Yeah it wasn't so bad...hence why I'm crying, shaking, and whiter than the this text box.


When I was 17, they were pulling blood from me. I started screaming and crying in Japanese. Doctor and mom were telling me I was an embarrassment and to "grow up".

After its over, I'm still shaking and walk to the lobby. There was a Japanese family. They looked at me and asked in Japanese, "that was you?"

The lobby heard me...and this clinic had a lot of closed doors between where they did the work.

Oops.

All the time home mom kept saying, "oh, that wasn't so bad!"

Bullshit woman. She KNEW I was scared/terrified.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

I have an acutely sensitive gag reflex. I had to get a strep throat test (actually several times.) Every single time I start hacking up a lung as my throat closes and I nearly convulse. One time the doctor gave me a look and went "Stop being so over dramatic."

He had to do it again because he didn't swab deep enough (herr herr that's what she said XD) and I ended up accidentally kicking him in the gut from reaction.

The nurse who was there told him he deserved it.

So don't feel bad, and try to ignore it when they try to chastise you. You can say "You aren't me, you don't feel what I feel so don't try to tell me if I'm in pain or not" or you can just wave them off and continue on. Or you can find try to find someone who understands and will try to work with you.