Dubious Compliments, Inappropriate Conversations, and a Spurious ER Visit

[Antisocial_Worker]

Notes from the Sturdy Nurse's last shift at work.

The Dubious Compliment

A patient had been admitted with severe abdominal pain and was parked in the hall waiting for a room to open up.

Patient: ITHURTSOHGODITHURTSGIVEMESOMETHINGFORTHEPAINI like your hairITREALLYFUCKINGHURTSOHGODITHURTSARGHH!!

Sturdy Nurse: What?

Patient: ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSMAKEITSTOPHURTINGI like your hair, it's really prettyGIVEMESOMETHINGMAKEITSTOPHURTINGOHGODOHGODOHGOD!!

The Inappropriate Conversation

A patient was roaming the ER talking loudly on a cell phone. The person on the other end was the patient's girlfriend. Everyone knew this because the two of them were having phone sex.

The Spurious ER Visit

A person came to the ER because...

......

.........

............they were hungry.

[BEN1972]

The first one doesn't sound to bad. Odd, but not bad. Not sure on the 3rd one. There had to be a fast food place nearby.

[Amina516]

We had someone come in with stomach pain. During my assessment, I gathered that the last time they ate something was 2 days ago. Well, no wonder your stomach hurts, honey.

[Amina516]

The first one doesn't sound to bad. Odd, but not bad. Not sure on the 3rd one. There had to be a fast food place nearby.

Im betting they were broke and most likely homeless (if they were neither of those, then i take it back. ). Unfortunately, the ER is seen as a warm bed and food source..much like jail.

[Antisocial_Worker]

The first one doesn't sound to bad. Odd, but not bad. Not sure on the 3rd one. There had to be a fast food place nearby.

Nah, it wasn't too bad. Just weird.

[trailerparkmedic]

Im betting they were broke and most likely homeless (if they were neither of those, then i take it back. ). Unfortunately, the ER is seen as a warm bed and food source..much like jail.

Lately the cops have been giving drunk homeless guys the choice between jail & the hospital. I am very annoyed at the cops for giving them a choice, especially since the people who come in know our hospital well enough to claim that they want to kill themselves, granting them an extra day or so of ER time.

[Sapphire Silk]

Notes from the Sturdy Nurse's last shift at work.

Patient: ITHURTSOHGODITHURTSGIVEMESOMETHINGFORTHEPAINI like your hairITREALLYFUCKINGHURTSOHGODITHURTSARGHH!!

Different. Patients say the oddest things sometimes.

Everyone knew this because the two of them were having phone sex.

Ugh. This is why I hate cell phones in the ER. Sturdy Nurse should tell this guy to get off the phone.

The Spurious ER Visit

A person came to the ER because...
.they were hungry.

Yeah, been there. I had a lot of frequent fliers who'd come in with a "pain" complaint and immediately demand food, which I'd just as promptly deny since I couldn't be sure they didn't have a surgical issue.

Lately the cops have been giving drunk homeless guys the choice between jail & the hospital. I am very annoyed at the cops for giving them a choice, especially since the people who come in know our hospital well enough to claim that they want to kill themselves, granting them an extra day or so of ER time.

This issue is a double edged sword. It's actually safer to let drunks sleep it off in the ER than in the jail. A lot of people have died in jail because they aspirated vomit or had some other medical condition that wasn't adequately addressed by the jail staff.

A lot of my legal nurse consulting cases revolve around issues like this.

But it sure is a pain in the ass for the ER staff.

[Seshat]

This issue is a double edged sword. It's actually safer to let drunks sleep it off in the ER than in the jail. A lot of people have died in jail because they aspirated vomit or had some other medical condition that wasn't adequately addressed by the jail staff.

A lot of my legal nurse consulting cases revolve around issues like this.

But it sure is a pain in the ass for the ER staff.

Maybe there needs to be a medically AND security supervised drunk tank?

[sms001]

Nah, it wasn't too bad. Just weird.

Even weirder is the little scenario that played through my head as I read it - that the patient didn't know about "hunger" and you folks diagnosed him:

"I don't know what's wrong with me! My stomach is making gurgling noises and feels hollow. I'm listless and faint and my mouth keeps watering!!"

"Get this person a sammich, STAT!"

[PepperElf]

A patient was roaming the ER talking loudly on a cell phone. The person on the other end was the patient's girlfriend. Everyone knew this because the two of them were having phone sex.

In the ER.

Perhaps someone needs to give him a clue-by-for.... that the emergency in his pants isn't the kind that the ER handles.



tho seriously, he couldn't have really needed the ER then. not if he was busy trying to get laid through his ears.

they were hungry.

in a way i'm not entirely surprised. kinda like how, in some areas, some people will purposefully get arrested right before the winter season ... just for the food & shelter.

[Rapscallion]

I was reading 'Things I learned from my Patients' - the infamous threads over on the SND forums recently. It's a very common ER complaint.

Rapscallion

[kpzra]

First cold snap of the season and people wold be calling about the drunks. There were some who were fine to stay outside but we had to wake them up and drink them to the ER. One night was 16 calls (in 12 hours), 11 of which were drunks.

[Sapphire Silk]

Maybe there needs to be a medically AND security supervised drunk tank?

I've advocated for it . . . to be in the jail. Unfortunately, there's no budget for it, and law enforcement doesn't want to budget for it.

Hospitals can't do it; heck, it's all we can do to get them to provide us with safe rooms for mentally ill patients, much less drunks.

[kpzra]

Not to mention most hospitals I know would have to expand to accommodate room it they were the new holding tank. As for safe rooms, out of the 3 hospitals in my hometown, only one has a dedicated "safe room" and even then only one. Another hospital has been known to just line the drunks up in the decon room.

[BeeMused]

Maybe there needs to be a medically AND security supervised drunk tank?

We have one in Hamburg, each weekend it's full to the brim. I watched a report about it once, they have their frequent flyers, and sometimes they save a life.
The rooms are completely hoseable, so they aren't really comfortable, but it's a safe place to sleep it off.