I had my first one in February, and holy crap, was it awful! It was painful, but not as bad as I was expecting. I've been terrified of having it done since my mother first told me what it was, so I was good and freaked out. My doctor is very gentle, but I was so stressed out about it that I cried through the whole thing. I was so tense, she couldn't really get a good sample or whatever. I guess I'll try again next year.
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I actually went for my annual today and the midwife used a plastic thing with a light on it, not like the old metal speculums at all. This thing didn't even open up to force the passage wider, it just slipped in and out. I have no idea what it was called, I should have asked her.
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I have also found pap smears to be horribly painful and afterward I would bleed and cramp for hours. One time I even passed out. Found out that this was due to my Interstitial Cystitis. Once I started getting this under control, the horrible pain associated with any manner of prodding down there relented. My GYN said she has one other IC patient and has noticed this with her as well, something about the bladder being so tender and inflamed that it was affecting other areas. I hope you figure out what is causing your issues. It can be a real PITA, especially when people don't believe you or just think you are being a baby.
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