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Who was at greater fault here?

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  • #1

    Who was at greater fault here?

    Well what was a simple errand today turned into something ugly. I am currently applying for a job that required me to get a notarized statement signed. And since you can get a notary signature at a bank, that's where I went. My dad tagged along because he had some questions relating to his account.

    Well we get there, and soon after the notary guy comes out of the bank, there are some issues. I moved recently, and the address on my license is different than my account, I go by my legal middle name rather than my first...they guy is a little concerned by this and I do my best to explain. He also seems wary about signing the statement, even though its simply a witness signature.

    Then, unfortunately, my dad has to butt in. He basically says: "We're longtime customers here, and you seem to be making things unnecessarily difficult."

    Bank guy doesn't take it well. He basically shoots back "I'm being diligent. I can refuse to sign this, you know."

    Me meanwhile:

    Long story short, I get the thing signed. As we get up to leave, dad says: "I appreciate that you were diligent, but don't you threaten a customer who has (amount) in bank. And you're a (bank guy's position) here? Ha!"

    I'm sure my face is red as I thank the bank guy and follow my dad out (who said "jackass" on the way out the door - dunno if bank guy heard).

    (Oh, and dad is pissed at me for thanking the guy, saying it "undermined" him and amounted to me saying "my dad is a douche I'm sorry" ).

    While I think my dad's "difficult" comment was very unwarranted and borderline assholeish to say, the bank guy was somewhat of a douche in his manner of replying (tone, word choice, etc). But dad did start it all.

    He picked a fight with me during the drive home and now its a cold war front at home. Which, sad to say, is normal around here.

    Can I get some opinions?

    But either way, I don't think I'll be setting foot in that particular branch for as long as I can help it. Too awkward.
    Last edited by shopgirl15; 04-16-2013, 09:06 PM.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Your dad was more at fault. YOU were the customer in question (you were the one getting a notarized signature), nothing would have gotten more difficult if your dad hadn't butted in.

    Yes, you undermined him, because he deserved to be undermined for his behavior.

    Notaries have to be diligent, it's their job. He's not acting as an agent of the bank, he's acting as a notary.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #3
      I agree that your dad was more at fault here. The notary was shown documents that didn't match up. He had to ask about them and try to make sure everything was right. That's part of why people want a notary in the first place.

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      • #4
        When someone is retreating, let them carry away as much face as they can. You got what you wanted, the "thank you" cost nothing. Your Dad sounds like he can't win unless someone else loses. Kinda shuts off the win-win scenario.

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        • #5
          only thing i can suggest is going back when you're alone if that's possible.

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          • #6
            Agree with everyone else here: your dad is at fault. The bank guy didn't get snarky until your father tried to pull the SC "I'm a VIP customer, so there!!!!" nonsense on him. Your dad deserved to be undermined.

            If I were you, I'd go back there often -- but, as PepperElf suggests, alone. That will give bank staff (and the notary guy, if he's there) additional chances to see that, however difficult a customer your father may be, YOU are not the same.

            Comment

            • #7
              Ask your Dad if having all the money in the world gives someone the right to break the rules, especially the rules of a business.

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              • #8
                Thanks guys. I just feel so embarrassed over this morning. And yeah, the parental unit is still pissy and giving the cold shoulder.

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                • #9
                  Quoth shopgirl15 View Post

                  Then, unfortunately, my dad has to butt in. He basically says: "We're longtime customers here, and you seem to be making things unnecessarily difficult."

                  Bank guy doesn't take it well. He basically shoots back "I'm being diligent. I can refuse to sign this, you know."
                  I wouldn't have blamed him in the least had he refused.

                  He's a notary; he has to make sure things check out before he signs stuff. That he also happens to hold a position in the bank is irrelevant; he's being asked to serve as a notary, not whatever his position at the bank is.

                  Your dad was completely in the wrong. I see little, if any suck, on the part of the bank guy.

                  Quoth emax4
                  Ask your Dad if having all the money in the world gives someone the right to break the rules, especially the rules of a business.
                  Sadly, his answer would be yes. And he wouldn't have to think real long about it.
                  Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                  "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                  • #10
                    Go back to the branch - but the first time, apologise. And thank the notary. Perhaps provide a small card with a thank-you in it.

                    Be the bigger person.
                    Seshat's self-help guide:
                    1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                    2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                    3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                    4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                    "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                    • #11
                      I'm pretty sure that in most states notaries are *personally* liable for their work. I don't blame him a bit.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth shopgirl15 View Post
                        And yeah, the parental unit is still pissy and giving the cold shoulder.
                        I tend to think that people who behave like this know, at some level, they have behaved badly ... but hell will freeze over before they admit it, even to themselves. He wants YOU to be the one to apologize because as he sees it that will justify HIS behaviour.

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                        • #13
                          Maybe your dad didn't need to go along. Based off what I read, he seems like he's looking for an argument, he didn't win with the teller, so he's trying at home. Not sure what you can do about his irritation with you, if he's slightly reasonable, he'd realize that it's such a small thing to be irritated over, and because of his love for you, let it go.

                          Unfortunately, with dealing with unreasonable parental units like this, the only thing that might get the peace back between you two, is to fake feeling bad for "overriding" his attitude.

                          But, the others are right, maybe the notary wouldn't have been snotty if he wasn't approached with entitlement. Some people just don't like the entitled attitude.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            I need to start taking (screen) names of people here, because a long time member had posted some great lines. They're not necessarily comebacks, but lines to say to people to get them to think. One was "Would you prefer to be right, or get the results you want?" I was thinking about that this morning, reflecting back on this issue. I think some people just have to feel that they're right all the time. Personally speaking, my wife is an only child, in her early 40's, and I feel she's spoiled like that. So when I prove that I'm right and she's wrong, I intentionally make an ass out of myself just so she gets the point that she can't always be "Right". (the other times I'm in the basement, alone, haha)

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                            • #15
                              A lot of people do not realize that notaries are personally liable for any issues that might arise due to discrepancies. Making sure your signature was properly notarized wasn't a customer service issue, it was a legal issue. If notaries could be "bought" by your fathers arguments, corruption would reign supreme.

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