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My first parking-lot vulture

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  • My first parking-lot vulture

    Thanks in advance to CS for coming up with the term "parking lot vulture"

    This one's more of a parking lot bouncer I guess. I was helping a friend with her shopping today. Just as we're loading my car and getting in to leave, this idiot woman driving a saturn blocks my exit. Naturally she honked at me. What was she want me to do, reverse over her car like an expensive speedbump? On the other hand that idea sounds rather appealing...

    After a couple of annoyed looks from me she got the hint and backed off just barely enough. Too bad I didn't think of this site sooner, otherwise I would have "forgotten" something in the store, and gone back in.
    Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording you scope.

  • #2
    I actually waited someone out the other day. I always park in the furthest row from the door (easier to spot my car at distance) and I had this old guy follow me and park RIGHT behind my car, waiting for my spot. I sat there, and sat there.... didn't even turn the key. The guy finally ACTUALLY CAME UP and KNOCKED on my window. I rolled it down and said "yes?" he said "are you leaving or what?"

    I said, "well, I would, but you're too close to me... I can't get out without hitting you." He actually had the nerve to say, "If I move, someone will steal the spot! Get out of here!!!"

    I calmly looked over at his car, then back at him, and said, "Listen mister, I don't have anywhere to be right now, AND I just went to the bathroom. I can wait a lot longer than you can, so either back off, or we'll be here for a looong time. Get it?"

    He backed up. HONESTLY people. UGH.
    GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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    • #3
      I've had this happen a couple of times. I have a cd changer in my trunk and i get out and change my CD's while the person waits. They've always just gotten mad and sped off. I can't wait for the first person to say something 'bout it..

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      • #4
        Awesome. I'm gonna do that. Finally, something that changer is good for...
        "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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        • #5
          Quoth tollbaby View Post
          I calmly looked over at his car, then back at him, and said, "Listen mister, I don't have anywhere to be right now, AND I just went to the bathroom. I can wait a lot longer than you can, so either back off, or we'll be here for a looong time. Get it?"
          I love it!
          "Full price for gum?! That dog won't hunt, monsignor." - Philip J. Fry

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          • #6
            Tollbaby, you're awesome!
            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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            • #7
              nah, just bitchy
              GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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              • #8
                Quoth tollbaby View Post
                I calmly looked over at his car, then back at him, and said, "Listen mister, I don't have anywhere to be right now, AND I just went to the bathroom. I can wait a lot longer than you can, so either back off, or we'll be here for a looong time. Get it?"
                You're my new hero tollbaby.

                I've gotta remember that response in case I'm ever in a similar situation.
                my favourite author is neil gaiman. - me
                it is? I don't like potatoes much. - the chatbot I was talking to

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                • #9
                  Quoth tollbaby View Post
                  nah, just bitchy
                  well, then you're an awesome bitch. and i mean that in the nicest possible way
                  I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                  I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                  It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                  • #10
                    My truck has a switch on it that I have to activate in order for the reverse lights to come on. Included with this action is a reverse beeper. In situations where I am unable to back out with that, I just hit the switch and start moving. People in cars waiting for a spot usually get the idea when I'm coming straight at them.

                    Other vehicle is a motorcycle and I've sat and taken my sweet time to adjust my gloves, oops, forgot to put something from ym pocket in to my saddlebags, gotta redo the gloves, oh, wait, I forgot my cell phone is still on my hip, etc, etc. It's amazing how many things I can find that I suddenly need to do to my bike before I can safely leave.
                    Bears are bad. If an animal is going to be mean it should look so, like sharks and alligators. - Mark Healey

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                    • #11
                      I call these people Parking Lot Stalkers. I posted a thread on this myself where people will zero in on you right as you exit a store, then will follow closely with their front bumper literally touching the cheeks of your ass so they can grab that close spot you might have. So, a solution I came up with is this: When you leave the store, walk down the wrong aisle on purpose, then when you are close enough to your car, cut over to the correct aisle. That really pisses them off, royally. Or, walk down the right aisle and go past your car, then when they give up and drive past you, go back. Or, a better one: Put your stuff in your vehicle, on the passenger side, then lock your car up and walk back like you're going back into the store.

                      I did a good one the other day to a young lady, looked about 16 or 17. At Target, I waited while my son and stepson got something over at the coffee place there. So, I took my daughter, put her in the car, and just as I was doing that, young lady parks her car right where I would have not been able to back out. She sat there, and sat there, and sat there what must have been five long, stretched out minutes when there were other spots nearby, but not as close to the store. Finally, my boys come out and get in the car, and this girl is still sitting there, waiting on me to leave. So, what did I do? I took out my can of Armor All wipes, wiped my dashboard, then took out the Windex and cleaned my windows. When I did this, she grabbed the spot two spaces over from me, and when she did that, I left, waving at her as I passed her. I got the finger in return. Great, professional teenaged behavior. I'm sure she doesn't do that when Mom or Dad are with her.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth greensinestro View Post
                        I call these people Parking Lot Stalkers. I posted a thread on this myself where people will zero in on you right as you exit a store, then will follow closely with their front bumper literally touching the cheeks of your ass so they can grab that close spot you might have.
                        I used to get those all the time back in my college days, when I'd go to the mall on my day off. I didn't even own a car, so I walked there. It was a good three-mile walk, but I was about 20 years younger and about 60 lbs lighter back then.

                        I'd always get these cars following me as I walked out of the mall and across the parking lot, until I got to the edge and just kept walking. I wonder what wonderful things people were saying about me when I did that?

                        Quoth greensinestro View Post
                        Or, a better one: Put your stuff in your vehicle, on the passenger side, then lock your car up and walk back like you're going back into the store.
                        I had that happen when I was Christmas shopping at the mall a few times. I don't like having to carry too many things at once, so anytime my load would get too bulky, I'd run it out to the car and come back. Of course, I'd be loading up the trunk, and I'd see someone sitting and waiting as I put each bag in the trunk, one by one, closed the trunk...

                        ...and turned around and walked back into the mall. I'm sure some very un-Christmaslike things were said about me then.
                        Sometimes life is altered.
                        Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
                        Uneasy with confrontation.
                        Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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                        • #13
                          I did the same thing at Christmas also. It was the day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday) and I hit one of the early store openings, got what I needed and was going to head home, but when I exited the mall, seeing all the cars trying to get in and find spots, I decided to stay and shop. So after every purchase, I'd take it out to my truck, put it in, then go back in. My record for that day was three vehicles trying to race each other over to the row I was parked in for my spot.

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                          • #14
                            WARNING: SCIENCE/STATISTICAL CONTENT!

                            Consider yourself warned.

                            Several years ago, around the mid to late nineties (96 or 97 I think) Wal-Mart conducted a study of their parking lots. In this study, they monitored the number of customers who waited for parking spaces and the numbers that chose to park further out in the lot. The whole idea behind the study, was supposedly to check to see if stores with larger lots really needed the space. Wal-Mart's bigwigs figured that if a larger number of people parked closer; then in later designs they could shave off a good portion of the spaces and still maintain even parking. In short: They wanted to save construction costs by halving their available spaces.

                            During this study, they found out something rather interesting, which prompted yet another study. Surveying one hundred drivers, they found that most of the people would choose to wait for a closer space. There were a number, all be it smaller, that would drive further into the lot to park. Curiously, it seemed that neither was saving any time in getting to the store. So, Wal-Mart tested this. What they found was very curious.

                            It was found, that the person who drives out to the end of the lot and parks; would in nearly every case get into the store before (yes, BEFORE) the person who waited for a spot to open up closer to the store. The company did the math on it, and found that the time spent waiting for a spot to open; then parking in it and leaving the vehicle, was longer than the time it would take to drive further in the lot to park and then walk in.

                            This was published for a long time in the Computer Based Learning (CBL) modules that the company had, though the exact reason for this inclusion is unknown. Since then, other tests have been done on this theory, proving it to be completely true.

                            Don't belive it? Then try it out for yourself. Next time you see someone waiting on a spot, park further out in the lot. Then see if you will get into the store before them. Don't run, just take your time. You'll be suprised what you find.

                            END SCIENCE CONTENT.
                            Learn wisdom by the follies of others.

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                            • #15
                              If there's zero parking, it's fair for someone to wait for your space, as long as they don't block you from leaving. In this case, it's polite to leave promptly or inform the person that you're going back into the store/mall. If they're blocking you from leaving, maybe go over and ask them to back up a little? In the grocery store, we ask others to move their carts so we can get through. This should apply to cars, too.

                              If the person's just wanting to park really close, and there's plenty of parking spaces, take your time. They're a "vulture/stalker."

                              But c'mon, if there's no parking, what do you expect drivers to do? NOT follow people leaving & potentially heading to their car?
                              Michael: Maybe you'll be inspired by the boat party tonight and start a career as a pirate.
                              Tobias: I haven't packed for that.
                              <3 Arrested Development

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