Bathrooms and my friend Emmeline's wedding

[Marlowe]

Partly, I have a question for the America/Canada based members of CS... and partly I have a story.

The story first.

My friend Emmeline (well, she's actually my best friend Lissa's sister, but I know her well too) got married a couple years back, and last night Lissa and I were reminiscing about the unintended comedy of her wedding.

Now, this was a very classy, very expensive wedding. We're talking open air dancing, mini orchestra, lights in the trees, £15,000 gown, manor house with waitstaff, the works. There was a freaking SEVEN COURSE DINNER. Anyway, what goes in must come out, and after the dinner the usual pilgrimage to the toilets began while everyone started dancing.

Then the women's toilets became blocked. And by "toilets", I mean "the one single bathroom of two that has been assigned to women." With 500 guests on the property and no other women's bathrooms on hand.

(Well, there was the downstairs bathroom at the house, but there was a mid-size leopard-type cat in there that didn't like strangers. It proved remarkably easy to keep people out of that bathroom. Maybe you guys should employ that for employee bathrooms? )

(Also. I don't know about you guys, but I noticed at my cafe that the women's toilets were immeasurably more likely to be bad than the men's.)

One of the bridesmaids goes to discreetly tell the wedding planner what has happened, thinking he can sort it out without drawing attention. Sadly, one of the drunken uncles of the bride had other ideas.

He stumbled over to the orchestra, grabbed the microphone from the vocalist mid-song, and loudly slurred over the speakers that the women's toilets were broken, so the women should all use the men's, and the men should, and I quote "piss in the woods" or "cop a squat in the bushes."

What can I say, it brought a new element of... uh... class to the wedding.


Anyway, onto my question.

I read a lot about bathrooms in stores, and I was wondering - is it a common thing to find bathrooms in retail stores? I mean, not just in the big box stores, but even the little ones? Here it's very unusual. A larger department store MIGHT have them, if they also had a cafe, and some larger supermarkets do, but otherwise stores just don't have public bathrooms, so the concept seems a little alien to me.

[42_42_42]

American here. Most smaller stores don't have public restrooms. AFAIK small stores usually just have a small WC for employee use. Just because there isn't a public restroom doesn't stop SC's from demanding to use the employee facilities. A lot of places will let someone with a small potty-training child use the employee WC, but that's just being nice and sympathetic to the needs of a child that age. Any place that serves food is supposed to have a public restroom available for customers. Many of those in touristy areas will have signs saying that the restrooms are for customers only.

[Arcus]

Around here a shop that serves food is required to have one. Other stores are not. Small ones normally will not have one for the public while large stores will.

Public restrooms can be expensive to take care of. Many small stores don't want to pay for that. It's easier for large stores.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Public restrooms can be expensive to take care of. Many small stores don't want to pay for that. It's easier for large stores.

And the reason IMHO why restrooms can be a considerable expense is that we see a class of customer who decides a public toilet facility is the best place to either of the folloowing:

a) leave a considerable mess involving bodily fluids/wastes/paper products/any or all of the above either inside a stall, outside the stall, or everywhere.

b) make out sessions (gross, I'm sure. And they say romance is dead, but I digress.)

c) conceal items shoplifted from the store (or various stores if within a shopping center or mall.)

Smaller stores don't want these headaches (and I really can't say I blame them.) Around here, though, smaller shops as a general rule will have a sign posted informing customers that they have no public restroom facilities.

Of course, though, the art of reading while one is out and about in public has gone the way of the rotary dial telephone.

[NorthernZel]

Dane here. As 42 x 3 states, only the larger retail stores or malls have public restrooms avaiable. Like restaurants and cafés do, but pizza parlors or other take-away stores don't.

[MoonCat]

Here in the US, larger supermarkets have restrooms for public use. There's also at least one chain of pet stores that has them.

Malls do, too, but these can often be pretty nasty.

[EricKei]

Keep in mind that most places do HAVE restrooms, they're just not obligated to offer them for public use unless they serve dine-in food. Non-food places (such as...oh, say, video game stores) often use them as storage for their most expensive items if there's no room elsewhere. That is another very good reason not to allow strangers back there.

Of course, I have read one too many stories on here about custys who ignore public restrooms and just use the changing rooms for that purpose...x.x Ewwwwwwwwww

[bhskittykatt]

Usually it's places that serve food and larger stores here that have bathrooms. Most smaller places don't have one.

There is a (fairly obscure) law in our state that says if you have certain medical conditions you must be allowed use of whatever is available if there is no public restroom, but you have to carry a note from a doctor stating that you have one of the qualifying medical conditions. I've never seen anyone ever utilize it before.

[BearLeeBadenaugh]

I've a little bit of experience with plumbing codes and a little bit more with wedding planners.

As you mentioned the price of the dress in pounds, I'm assuming this was "over the big pond". Here in the US, we seem to need regulations for everything, lol.

There's two fails I can see in this situation. Was this a professional venue? If so, they're well off on the number of restrooms available, especially if there were 500 guests and a corresponding number of people working the event. Following the Uniform Plumbing code, there should be a total of 10 restrooms, 4 male and 6 female. Surprising they even had a business license if that were the case.

If this wasn't a professional venue, then the wedding planner dropped the ball. Restrooms are one of the things on ANY good wedding planners checklist set. If there aren't enough to meet demand, then you need to bring in something. It doesn't have to look like a portapotty, either.

One of the local septic companies has a toilet trailer, basically a RV looking trailer they bring in via semi truck. There's even an ADA compliant, wheelchair accessible unit on the back, in addition to the 8 standard restrooms. Everything is plumbed, flush toilets, running water, etc.

[Marlowe]

I've a little bit of experience with plumbing codes and a little bit more with wedding planners.

As you mentioned the price of the dress in pounds, I'm assuming this was "over the big pond". Here in the US, we seem to need regulations for everything, lol.

There's two fails I can see in this situation. Was this a professional venue? If so, they're well off on the number of restrooms available, especially if there were 500 guests and a corresponding number of people working the event. Following the Uniform Plumbing code, there should be a total of 10 restrooms, 4 male and 6 female. Surprising they even had a business license if that were the case.

If this wasn't a professional venue, then the wedding planner dropped the ball. Restrooms are one of the things on ANY good wedding planners checklist set. If there aren't enough to meet demand, then you need to bring in something. It doesn't have to look like a portapotty, either.

One of the local septic companies has a toilet trailer, basically a RV looking trailer they bring in via semi truck. There's even an ADA compliant, wheelchair accessible unit on the back, in addition to the 8 standard restrooms. Everything is plumbed, flush toilets, running water, etc.

No, it was their grandmother's house in SA. The bride's father's family are Scottish, and she was raised in England, hence UK pounds, but her fiance and her mother's side of the family are from Cape Town. And yeah... no one really thought very much through. Then again, Emmeline was the world's most terrifying bridezilla, so I don't blame the organisers for not wanting to spend more than a couple minutes with her.

...And, I'm fairly sure Grandma coordinated a lot of it. Grandma, who hasn't been sober for almost 50 years and is usually more baked than one of my mother's overdone pies. With that little detail I'm surprised it was just the toilets that got messed up.

[Sparky]

Marlowe, I agree with what most people have said here - small shops will not usually have a restroom, although restaurants are required to, but larger stores usually will. However, more and more stores are in malls - either in enclosed "all in one building" malls or in open-air shopping centers. A mall, which is enclosed, will always have public restrooms and very large shopping centers often will too. Smaller shopping centers, no.

I went to a wedding a few years back which was held outdoors at a private home in the country. It was not as fancy as the one you describe, but it was actually very lovely. The wedding took place on a tiny island in a pond. Guests were seated for dinner under a tent-canopy. There was recorded music, but it was really very nice. Except that the only toilet facilities were port-a-potties, and these were for the women. There were signs with a picture of a dog lifting his leg that directed gentlemen to use the bushes. There were real toilets in the house, of course, but we were "invited" not to use them.

I decided to just hold it.

[wolfie]

The wedding took place on a tiny island in a pond. Guests were seated for dinner under a tent-canopy. There was recorded music, but it was really very nice. Except that the only toilet facilities were port-a-potties, and these were for the women. There were signs with a picture of a dog lifting his leg that directed gentlemen to use the bushes.

I wonder how involved the groom was in planning the event. In a situation like that, I'd be tempted to tell the "logistics" coordinator to make sure there were suitable facilities for the men as well (in this case, porta-potties would have to do) - and emphasize that if the NECESSARY facilities weren't there when I arrived, I'd spend the day elsewhere.