While filling out an application, no less.

[IT Grunt]

That guy just shoved his foot so far down his throat he has to walk with his ass.

[Bright_Star]

Hire the bird & as the 1st duty of that bird, have it crap all over that clueless son of a bitch...lol.

[thatcrazyredhead]

Advantages to hiring a seagull: ...

Actually, seagulls are management material. They swoop in, squawk a lot, chow down on any employee lunches that are left unguarded, crap on everything, and fly off.

You guys are killing me!!

[wolfie]

Actually, seagulls are management material. They swoop in, squawk a lot, chow down on any employee lunches that are left unguarded, crap on everything, and fly off.

[ShadowTiger]

Advantages to hiring a seagull:

• You can make it minimum wage, just like the rest of the employees.
• You can occasionally give it a scrap of bread to keep it happy, just like the rest of the employees.
• You can hire a lot of them and not make too much of a dent in payroll, just like the rest of the employees.
• You can dress it up like an employee and easily make it one of you, as if it'll make a difference. Just like the rest of the employees.

Disadvantages of hiring a seagull:

• It knows very little about how things in a hardware store function, just like the rest of the employees.
• It often stands around making loud noises and generally being a nuisance, just like the rest of the employees.
• Rather than doing its job, it wanders around, opening boxes and being curious, just like the rest of the employees.
• It makes a mess in the bathroom, just like the rest of the employees.
• It can't lift anything when it needs to, just like the rest of the employees.

[Sheldonrs]

If it comes down to a choice, hire the seagull.

[ShadowTiger]

Thread title says it all. ... Mostlykindawhatever.

So I'm on my way out of the store today after clocking out, and I see someone filling out an application at the front desk. Two of our stockroom employees have just left, and they left a gargantuan hole in our ability to do what we really need to do.

So I kinda lean over his shoulder, "So, you're filling out an application, huh? ^_^ "

Him: "Yeah, what's it to you?"

Me: O.o "Oh, just kinda hoping."

Him: "What the hell were you hoping for? A charity case?"

Me: O_O' "Wh.. what. I don't follow. At all. Just really hoping to get more people back there."

Him: "But this is absolutely none of your business."

Me: "Dunno. We'll see about that, I guess."

Him: "Why, you looking to get this job? Well I got here first. Scram."

Me: ".. Okay then. Hope you get the job. See you tomorrow, then."

Him: "You some kinda regular, eh? Don't flatter yourself."

Me: "Okay! ^__^ "

.. aaaand I just walk right out the door, not even three steps away.

I take another four steps and round the corner, .. just a big skid of mulch, really, and can overhear what the customer service gal is saying.

Her: "You do know who that was, right?"

Him: "Don't give a f^@#. He should've minded his own damn business."

Her: "That was the person who would have taught you everything you needed to know for this job."

Him: "He's a teacher?"

Her: ".. no, what, he's the second in command of the stockroom."

It was at that point that I had the sudden opportunity to determine whether that was the second, third, or fourth loudest profanity I've ever heard. I walked off to my car and saw a seagull tugging on some electrical wiring on a lamp post. I wasn't sure what to feel about that, so I went home and made myself a sandwich.

.. and it was delicious.