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This is one of those stories where I still managed to get “attacked” by an SC but not while I’m at work.
Recently, a few of my friends have re-quired a taste for going bowling. I think this probibly has a lot to do with the fact that THIS http://d.pr/i/Y7MQ is what arsonists managed to make of our local bowling alley, which has been there for nearly 30 years and was HUGE. Strykers has closed down and re-opened several times in my lifetime but there has always been a serviceable building there to allow new owners to do that. Somehow I doubt a phoenix will rise from the ashes this time. Kind of sad really, since that place was a big thing in our area.
So AFTER Strykers burns to the ground, some of my friends were like “aaaawh. we were totally going to take up bowling again” ...Yeah. I’m sure you were.
However, Strykers isn’t the only place within reach (it was just the only BIG one) we have the newest one, AMF which is across the otherside of town, another AMF in another area of town, or Tenpin in Teford. We all decide to go to the first AMF.
On our most recent visit all hell broke loose, basically. We got to our lane. Imagine you are looking down the lane towards the pins. On your left is a family who seem really nice and really supportive of each other. the kids could have chucked the balls right into the gutters and the parents would have still said “awh. you’ll make it next time. I believe in you!” on your right is one lane then the wall that divides the alleys up from the entrance plaza and the arcade. In the lane immediately to your right is a family who are the complete polar opposite of the ones on the left. They are just generally unpleasant “White trash” americans would call them. Or as we british call them; “Chavs”
We get ourselves set up and almost immediatly one of the chav kids comes over and starts messing around with the wheelchair one of our group (Jamie) has been sitting in since he was 6 years old. I’m not entirely sure what the kid was doing, I think he was messing with the breaks, but it doesn’t matter. he shouldn’t have been doing it and this took exactly 0.06 nanoseconds to piss Jamie off.
Jamie asks the kid nicely to stop running up and fucking around with his chair. The kid ignores him. Being the responsible adult Jamie occasionally pretends to act like, he goes up to Mrs. Chav. “Excuse me. Your son is messing around with my wheelchair. I need this thing to get around so I would appreciate it if you would please tell him to stop” the rational response from Mrs. Chav would of course be to tell Chav Jr. to stop.
That was not the response that was forthcoming.
“HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY SON” ...what?! she basically just starts tearing Jamie off a strip, ending with her pressing the button to call the lane-host over and her telling Jamie “It’s not his fault you’re in a wheelchair” Yes, we know that. That isn’t the problem.
Lane host comes over. Mrs Chav immediately starts going off about how we’re bothering them and causing them distress. Thankfully for us, Mrs Lane host is a reasonable lady. She asks us for our side of the story. We give it and it’s of course totally different to Mrs. Chav’s story. “Okay. I’m going to go into the office and rewind the cameras over these lanes. Won’t be too long to find out what’s gone on”
The Chavs go back to their game and we go back to setting up ours. Not 2 minutes later, Mrs Lane Host comes back with another member of staff. Other member of staff asks the Chavs to follow him into the office, he needs to show them the CCTV. Mrs Lane host stays with us and once the Chavs are out of earshot she explains to us “We saw what went on. The cameras caught it all. They are going to be warned that if they keep doing that, they will be thrown out.” This we were quite happy with because we assumed it would be the end of our troubles.
When Mr & Mrs Chav and the little chavletts got back, they immediately complained that we had clearly messed with their game. Obviously not realising that they are now well aware there is at least one camera on those lanes, so it would be very easy to prove one way or the other. They had only bowled one frame so the AMF staff just reset the game for them and away the problem went.
What happened a little later on, I only turned around just in time to see. One of our group, Kyle, Doesn’t bowl like the rest of us. We all take a run-up to the lane (Except Jamie of course who uses that tripod thing) Kyle stands at the end of the lane and bowls from a standing position. It was clearly working because he was in 2nd place.
I have my back turned to the lanes and we’re all chatting amongst ourselves. I turn around to see a little Chavlette has walked up behind Kyle and is about to try and push him. This is the same one that was messing with Jamie earlier. Only problem is that Kyle is totally unaware of this. He draws the ball back as hard as he can and CRACK right into this kids face.
Kid’s nose explodes with blood and the kid goes flying onto his back. I don’t even think. I’m a qualified first aider so I rush to his side, prop him up and with a handfull of tissues, clamp my hand around his nose to try and stem the bloodflow.
“THIS PEDOPHILE IS TOUCHING MY SON!!”
...I’m sorry...WHAT?!!
I’m kneeling down there trying to help this kid, who is bleeding all over my hands and Mrs Chav is screaming at the top of her lungs about how I’m touching her kid, that I’m clearly a pedo and that Kyle, who is frozen in shock, beaned the kid in the face deliberately. People down the opposite end of the bowling alley have stopped and are looking over at all the comotion, she is screaming that loudly.
Mrs Lane Host comes over “What the hell’s happened this time?!” so Mrs Chav continues on her rant of calling me a pedo, Kyle a violent thug etc etc. Thankfully the DJ’s decks were right behind us on the opposite side of the gangway and he’d seen the whole thing.
the DJ comes over and explains what had happened. Mrs Lane host just says “Right. That’s it. I’m fed up with you lot. You were warned to leave these guys alone and you didn’t listen. Get the hell out and don’t ever come back.”
Of Course the kids who weren't already in floods of tears now start bawling. Mr. & Mrs Chav start to scream the place down even more. Now is the point I notice I can’t hear bowling pins being knocked over anymore. People have STOPPED and are staring.
Eventually, about 6 security guards come over and escort the Chav family out. As they do, everyone, Customers and AMF staff start cheering and applauding. We all just sat down on the benches and breathed a sigh of relief.
As we do that, the mum from the nice family taps Kyle on the shoulder “When you cracked that kid in the face with the bowling ball; that was the funniest and most satisfying thing we have seen all night. We would like to buy you all a round of drinks. We reckon you deserve it after that.”
They kindly bought us over some drinks and once we were done we sat with their family in the bar. One of the kids, 4 or 5 years old was extremely curious about Jamie, much to the embarrassment of Mr & Mrs. Nice. Jamie had no trouble answering all the questions the kid had, but the poor kid just couldn’t wrap his brain around the concept that Jamie can’t walk, nor can he feel anything below his rib cage. He wanted to test Jamie’s lack of feeling in his legs by punching him full-force in them. Mr. & Mrs. Nice explained that punching someone full-force in the leg was not the behaviour they expected out of good children “You don’t want to be like the naughty boys in that other family, do you?” to which the kid firmly shook his head.
We said our goodbyes and headed back to the reception desk to hand the shoes back (Interestingly, AMF made Jamie put on bowling shoes as well, regardless of the fact his feet haven’t touched the ground since 1991, but said nothing about the tires on his wheelchair) the receptionist said to us “It really wasn’t your night tonight was it, Boys?”
“Nope” we all replied. Kyle was still absolutely mortified. I could tell by the look on his face.
“Listen. Have a refund then come back next week with these” ash she hands us over some vouchers books with 50% off our next booking, free drinks, discounted food, all that stuff in there.
“Thanks!!” I said, totally awestruck.
“No problem.”
With that, we left. Although we were genuinely concerned that we were going to get accosted on the carpark by the Chavs. thankfully we never did.
In closing I would like to say a huge thank you to the staff at AMF. Sadly I can’t say which particular AMF alley because I don’t want to reveal where I live...but I really hope you guys see this. You fucking ROCK!
Recently, a few of my friends have re-quired a taste for going bowling. I think this probibly has a lot to do with the fact that THIS http://d.pr/i/Y7MQ is what arsonists managed to make of our local bowling alley, which has been there for nearly 30 years and was HUGE. Strykers has closed down and re-opened several times in my lifetime but there has always been a serviceable building there to allow new owners to do that. Somehow I doubt a phoenix will rise from the ashes this time. Kind of sad really, since that place was a big thing in our area.
So AFTER Strykers burns to the ground, some of my friends were like “aaaawh. we were totally going to take up bowling again” ...Yeah. I’m sure you were.
However, Strykers isn’t the only place within reach (it was just the only BIG one) we have the newest one, AMF which is across the otherside of town, another AMF in another area of town, or Tenpin in Teford. We all decide to go to the first AMF.
On our most recent visit all hell broke loose, basically. We got to our lane. Imagine you are looking down the lane towards the pins. On your left is a family who seem really nice and really supportive of each other. the kids could have chucked the balls right into the gutters and the parents would have still said “awh. you’ll make it next time. I believe in you!” on your right is one lane then the wall that divides the alleys up from the entrance plaza and the arcade. In the lane immediately to your right is a family who are the complete polar opposite of the ones on the left. They are just generally unpleasant “White trash” americans would call them. Or as we british call them; “Chavs”
We get ourselves set up and almost immediatly one of the chav kids comes over and starts messing around with the wheelchair one of our group (Jamie) has been sitting in since he was 6 years old. I’m not entirely sure what the kid was doing, I think he was messing with the breaks, but it doesn’t matter. he shouldn’t have been doing it and this took exactly 0.06 nanoseconds to piss Jamie off.
Jamie asks the kid nicely to stop running up and fucking around with his chair. The kid ignores him. Being the responsible adult Jamie occasionally pretends to act like, he goes up to Mrs. Chav. “Excuse me. Your son is messing around with my wheelchair. I need this thing to get around so I would appreciate it if you would please tell him to stop” the rational response from Mrs. Chav would of course be to tell Chav Jr. to stop.
That was not the response that was forthcoming.
“HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY SON” ...what?! she basically just starts tearing Jamie off a strip, ending with her pressing the button to call the lane-host over and her telling Jamie “It’s not his fault you’re in a wheelchair” Yes, we know that. That isn’t the problem.
Lane host comes over. Mrs Chav immediately starts going off about how we’re bothering them and causing them distress. Thankfully for us, Mrs Lane host is a reasonable lady. She asks us for our side of the story. We give it and it’s of course totally different to Mrs. Chav’s story. “Okay. I’m going to go into the office and rewind the cameras over these lanes. Won’t be too long to find out what’s gone on”
The Chavs go back to their game and we go back to setting up ours. Not 2 minutes later, Mrs Lane Host comes back with another member of staff. Other member of staff asks the Chavs to follow him into the office, he needs to show them the CCTV. Mrs Lane host stays with us and once the Chavs are out of earshot she explains to us “We saw what went on. The cameras caught it all. They are going to be warned that if they keep doing that, they will be thrown out.” This we were quite happy with because we assumed it would be the end of our troubles.
When Mr & Mrs Chav and the little chavletts got back, they immediately complained that we had clearly messed with their game. Obviously not realising that they are now well aware there is at least one camera on those lanes, so it would be very easy to prove one way or the other. They had only bowled one frame so the AMF staff just reset the game for them and away the problem went.
What happened a little later on, I only turned around just in time to see. One of our group, Kyle, Doesn’t bowl like the rest of us. We all take a run-up to the lane (Except Jamie of course who uses that tripod thing) Kyle stands at the end of the lane and bowls from a standing position. It was clearly working because he was in 2nd place.
I have my back turned to the lanes and we’re all chatting amongst ourselves. I turn around to see a little Chavlette has walked up behind Kyle and is about to try and push him. This is the same one that was messing with Jamie earlier. Only problem is that Kyle is totally unaware of this. He draws the ball back as hard as he can and CRACK right into this kids face.
Kid’s nose explodes with blood and the kid goes flying onto his back. I don’t even think. I’m a qualified first aider so I rush to his side, prop him up and with a handfull of tissues, clamp my hand around his nose to try and stem the bloodflow.
“THIS PEDOPHILE IS TOUCHING MY SON!!”
...I’m sorry...WHAT?!!
I’m kneeling down there trying to help this kid, who is bleeding all over my hands and Mrs Chav is screaming at the top of her lungs about how I’m touching her kid, that I’m clearly a pedo and that Kyle, who is frozen in shock, beaned the kid in the face deliberately. People down the opposite end of the bowling alley have stopped and are looking over at all the comotion, she is screaming that loudly.
Mrs Lane Host comes over “What the hell’s happened this time?!” so Mrs Chav continues on her rant of calling me a pedo, Kyle a violent thug etc etc. Thankfully the DJ’s decks were right behind us on the opposite side of the gangway and he’d seen the whole thing.
the DJ comes over and explains what had happened. Mrs Lane host just says “Right. That’s it. I’m fed up with you lot. You were warned to leave these guys alone and you didn’t listen. Get the hell out and don’t ever come back.”
Of Course the kids who weren't already in floods of tears now start bawling. Mr. & Mrs Chav start to scream the place down even more. Now is the point I notice I can’t hear bowling pins being knocked over anymore. People have STOPPED and are staring.
Eventually, about 6 security guards come over and escort the Chav family out. As they do, everyone, Customers and AMF staff start cheering and applauding. We all just sat down on the benches and breathed a sigh of relief.
As we do that, the mum from the nice family taps Kyle on the shoulder “When you cracked that kid in the face with the bowling ball; that was the funniest and most satisfying thing we have seen all night. We would like to buy you all a round of drinks. We reckon you deserve it after that.”
They kindly bought us over some drinks and once we were done we sat with their family in the bar. One of the kids, 4 or 5 years old was extremely curious about Jamie, much to the embarrassment of Mr & Mrs. Nice. Jamie had no trouble answering all the questions the kid had, but the poor kid just couldn’t wrap his brain around the concept that Jamie can’t walk, nor can he feel anything below his rib cage. He wanted to test Jamie’s lack of feeling in his legs by punching him full-force in them. Mr. & Mrs. Nice explained that punching someone full-force in the leg was not the behaviour they expected out of good children “You don’t want to be like the naughty boys in that other family, do you?” to which the kid firmly shook his head.
We said our goodbyes and headed back to the reception desk to hand the shoes back (Interestingly, AMF made Jamie put on bowling shoes as well, regardless of the fact his feet haven’t touched the ground since 1991, but said nothing about the tires on his wheelchair) the receptionist said to us “It really wasn’t your night tonight was it, Boys?”
“Nope” we all replied. Kyle was still absolutely mortified. I could tell by the look on his face.
“Listen. Have a refund then come back next week with these” ash she hands us over some vouchers books with 50% off our next booking, free drinks, discounted food, all that stuff in there.
“Thanks!!” I said, totally awestruck.
“No problem.”
With that, we left. Although we were genuinely concerned that we were going to get accosted on the carpark by the Chavs. thankfully we never did.
In closing I would like to say a huge thank you to the staff at AMF. Sadly I can’t say which particular AMF alley because I don’t want to reveal where I live...but I really hope you guys see this. You fucking ROCK!
Their kid could be sinking a switchblade into your belly, but nooooooooooo, it's not their Pwecious Angel's fault at all, your belly shouldn't have been in their way of their knife.
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