The Happiest Place On Earth (warning: Nature red of claw and tooth and whatnot.)

[cleorose]

I used to work at Disney at the All Star Resorts. Most people that complained would say "THIS is the happiest place on earth and I am NOT happy!" And then continue into a tirade.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

. Me and my sister and our two children.

Yeah. Probably coulda worded that a little better, eh?

Aw, Kheldarson! Glad to see you here, and everyone else as well!

Ducks might actually be worse that chickens, although chickens are pretty bad, too. Ducks mating is so violent that the males have evolved corkscrew penises so they don't get thrown off. In response, the females have evolved corkscrew vaginas that actually twist in the opposite direction. It's just insane. I don't know, but I don't think chickens regularly kill each other. Duck hens, on the other hand, end up drowning a lot. Unsettling stuff.

[AnaKhouri]

Wow, duck gang rape. It was an educational AND fun trip.

[Kheldarson]

RK! Yay!!!


You just get all the fun on vacation, don't you?

[yeahwhatev]

Me and my sister and our two children.

I do not care why this happened.
I do not care HOW this happened.
It exists.
I need coffee..
Quite possibly a beer..

[sms001]

"what, do you think you're at Disneyworld or something?"

This will send me to work with a smile on my face.

I give full props to DW, they really do work hard to anticipate every contingency, and succeed for the most part. But just HOW did this father think... never mind. SC logic.

If duck sex is anything like chicken sex with multiple roosters involved, you did well to stand clear; they're single minded little buggers.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Howdy, all!

Been a while, I know. Been really busy doing other things, and not spending nearly the time on here that I used to.

This happened a couple months ago, and I made a mental not that I HAD to post it, because it's just so perfect for this site. And I forgot...and then we were talking about it, so here it is.

We were in Disney, out in the pool behind the Contemporary resort. Me and my sister and our two children. And this little girl came off the slide into the pool and could not get her feet under her and the lifeguard jumped in and pulled her out.

The child was absolutely fine, just a little rattled. But when something like that happens, evidently the lifeguards have to follow a protocol of some sorts and fill out forms and do various checks at the poolside and all that. So this pair of lifeguards were doing just that, walking around the pool with their clipboards and all that.

At that moment, a clump of wild ducks fell out of the sky, fucking. Seriously, they were in a screaming, flailing duck orgy. And they fell out of the sky into the swimming pool like a meteor.

Now, I don't know if any of you have seen the mating habits of ducks, but it's not pretty. It's straight up disturbing and violent and scary. And the kids are going "Oh, look, ducks!" and my sister and I are all like "uh, yeah, let's not go over there, okay?" I was contemplating wading in and pulling the female out before she drowned, but she escaped on her own and tore off into the bushes, the males in hot pursuit. I think she escaped.


Anyways, there was this douchy dad at the pool. Who went over to the lifeguard trying to go through his checks and proceeded to piss and moan about how upset he was that screwing ducks fell into the pool. My sister was over there and reported back to me (I was on the other side of the pool drying my kid off and saw it, but didn't hear it.) that he was acting like it was the lifeguard's fault.

Normally, for such occurrences, I'd blast the guy for "what, do you think you're at Disneyworld or something?" But..well...you know.