The "Windows" Scammers

[wolfie]

Whoever came up with those names must have spent too much time partying with Tim Benzedrino.

[the lawsmeister]

I had my third call from them yesterday. Its getting annoying, not because they've called but every time they call I'm either heading out or putting the kids to bed and I don't have time to stay on the phone and mess with them

They called me again last night and I finally had time to mess with them. I told the caller she sounded sweet and asked what time she got off work so we could meet up. She hung up on me.
Yes I know that isn't cool and is really creepy (and I have never treated a legitimate telemarketer like that regardless of what they are selling) but if you're going to actively and consciously try to defraud me then all bets are off and I'm going to be a total prick to you.

[Golden Phoenix]

At our previous address we got one of these calls. I got bored of him and switched to speaking Welsh in the middle of a sentence.

A load of repetitions of "I don't understand you" and ""you're a liar" in welsh and i got bored again and hung up.

He called back!

Repeat.

He called back, with his manager there! The manager kept saying "I know you speak English, you were doing it before"

I switched back to English, told them off for bothering me and hung up, they never called back.

Kept me entertained for a while though.

[Geek King]

My personal favorite for those guys is BSing that I'm doing what they ask, then when they tell me to go to a website (don't by the way, its virus-laden with nasty ones), I keep telling them I'm getting 501 errors, or a message saying that the hosting company is blocking this website for reported illegal activities. Its really entertaining hearing their keyboards go mad trying to figure out what's going on.

[Deserted]

At our previous address we got one of these calls. I got bored of him and switched to speaking Welsh in the middle of a sentence.

A load of repetitions of "I don't understand you" and ""you're a liar" in welsh and i got bored again and hung up.

He called back!

Repeat.

He called back, with his manager there! The manager kept saying "I know you speak English, you were doing it before"

I switched back to English, told them off for bothering me and hung up, they never called back.

Kept me entertained for a while though.

Should've gone back-n-forth. Maybe make it sound like you barely understand english yourself. I know just enough spanish to do that. I'd do it using some cheesy movie-mexican voice. If they happened to know spanish, I'd tell them "I no speak the español," still in the same accent.

[Captain Trips]

My personal favorite for those guys is BSing that I'm doing what they ask, then when they tell me to go to a website (don't by the way, its virus-laden with nasty ones), I keep telling them I'm getting 501 errors, or a message saying that the hosting company is blocking this website for reported illegal activities. Its really entertaining hearing their keyboards go mad trying to figure out what's going on.

I, being a tech, have been wondering what to do when they eventually call me. I think I may borrow some of this. Maybe I'll throw in a 404. (Or better yet, a "419 error, I think it may be from a server in Nigeria...")

[NecessaryCatharsis]

I just keep agreeing with them. 'Yes I know, last time I checked windows said I had 645 errors. Yes that is a lot. No, I don't think they need fixed, it is still running fine, when it stops running I'll call you. No, I am happy to keep my errors for now, thanks.' Most of them hang up but one was really persistent, so I finally asked what the goal of the conversation was. After much go around about the 'errors' I found out why Microsoft cares if I have errors.

I am pleased to announce I can tell you the real reason they are calling: to prevent people from buying pirated copies of windows off the internet after their original operating system fails.

When I agreed never to do that they finally stopped calling me. (And I'm no expert but even if you wipe your virus laden computer do you not still 'own' one copy of windows you can put back on it?)

[Geek King]

When I agreed never to do that they finally stopped calling me. (And I'm no expert but even if you wipe your virus laden computer do you not still 'own' one copy of windows you can put back on it?)

Sort of. You actually own a license to use a particular version of Microsoft Windows Operating System. Your license is that string of letters and numbers that comes with the software CD, or pasted on your PC somewhere.

But yes, the phone people are full of road apples.

[lordlundar]

I am pleased to announce I can tell you the real reason they are calling: to prevent people from buying pirated copies of windows off the internet after their original operating system fails.

Oh that reminds me of when I worked Software retail. Microsoft just launched their "Genuine Product" system (essentially a periodic verification check if you're online). For three months straight we had people coming,telling the same story about how their copy of Windows locked them out. Every time they were asked where they got it, they responded they downloaded it off the net, and we promptly replied with essentially "you got busted and you're going to have to get a genuine copy now". with absolutely no sympathy.

I kept hearing that there were people hit with false positives with that system and I'm sure there were, but I never met one.

[MadMike]

I kept hearing that there were people hit with false positives with that system and I'm sure there were, but I never met one.

I have. It happened to a friend, who always calls me with any computer-related issues. In her case, all I had to do was re-enter the product key on the label that was attached to her machine, and she was good to go. Not sure what to make of that.

[Aethian]

I've had it happen to me when I updated Frankie. Had to call in and go through a 15 min phone call to put in a huge string of characters.

[protege]

I kept hearing that there were people hit with false positives with that system and I'm sure there were, but I never met one.

We have one machine at work that is throwing out "this is not genuine" on a daily basis. Even if I enter the code, it still doesn't work. Computer works fine otherwise. Of course, I'm not exactly in a hurry to fix it--Windows XP support from Micro$haft ends in April.

[Kagato]

It is a security feature of the windows software, whenever you make a major upgrade to your computer such as changing your motherboard/cpu/etc, it will "dial home" to make sure the copy is still legit.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Hmm. I'm getting random calls now from Minneapolis. The first time was around 3am. I was awake, fortunately for them, playing video games. I stared at my phone in confusion, didn't recognize the number, and answered it.

J2K: "Hello?"
Them: "Hi, I'm [name] from [something] Security. Am I speaking to Tom?"
J2K: "No."
Them: "Oh. My apologies. Good night."

I didn't realize where they were located, but the following day, my phone was on silent because I'd been at the movies, and I see a missed call, from the same area code. A quick Google search later told me the 617 area code was in Minneapolis. They'd even left a voice message.

Yup, it was for Tom Wotzisname again. Which I don't understand because my voicemail message very clearly states "Hi, you've reached the mailbox for Jay Winger, please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you."

While Jay Winger is not the name I give (I use my real name), it does not sound at all like Tom Wotzisname. So I don't understand why they bothered to leave a message for him.

I did not call them back. I just deleted the message. If I get another call for Tom Wotzisname again, I may call them up, just to let them know "Hey, I don't know who this guy you've been trying to reach is, but you've been calling my personal cell phone. Take me off your list."

[Deserted]

While Jay Winger is not the name I give (I use my real name), it does not sound at all like Tom Wotzisname. So I don't understand why they bothered to leave a message for him.

I'd guess it's a bill collector. I've had a series of them calling me for some time, asking for "James or John Something". Sorry, no James here, no John, this isn't the Something household, etc.

The most recent call, I spoke with the agent. James or John Something apparently live in my apartment complex. I'm not entirely sure how in the hell they have my number to give out, and I sure as hell don't know them. (~400 units in this complex.)