"That Can't Be What You Have"

[Racket_Man]

I remember seeing a classified ad for a stock '7x Pinto sedan with a 427...

Maybe not a 427 BUT I seem to remember a stock 197x's Pinto with some size V8. I remember it even had the V symbol on the front quarter panels.

[Docmayhem]

A bit off-topic, but still in the "Nope, it ain't so" category, a while back at an auto parts store I saw an exhaust manifold gasket set where the packaging said it was for all Chevy V-8 engines from 396 to 454 cubic inches. Not a Chevy owner, but there are some engines in that range that the gasket set WON'T fit. Let's see who else knows why.

Be fun to try to put that on a small block 400...

[dalesys]

Be fun to try to put that on a small block 400...

That would call for massive application of UBH followed by BANE.

(Use Bigger Hammer, Buy A New Engine)

[ADeMartino]

So called experts don't believe anyone that says something they don't think is right. I had a guy at an auto parts store that argued with me about what transmission my car had. His computer said I had a different one than my manual that came with the car, the dealer, and the transmission shop next door said I had. Even after showing him all the proof I had, he still sold me the wrong part (and lied to me about it.) That is when I learned that if you put a vacuum modulator for a Ford AOD transmission in an A4LD, the transmission nukes itself.

He did INDEED sell you the wrong part, because AODs don't have vacuum modulators. The pre-electronic models use something called a Throttle Valve cable to control shift points and downshifts (linkages in the earliest applications). The TV cable fulfills the same function as the VM and kickdown linkages on the old 3-speed slushboxes. The electronic AOD-E automatics don't even have the TV cables or linkages; they're controlled by the car's ECM.

The A4LD is/was an evolution of the old C3, and I'm betting he sold you a VM from a C3 or possibly one of the other C-automatics (there was also a C4, a C5, and a C6) or maybe even one for an old FMX. An incorrect modulator (or one improperly installed) can lead to rapid transmission failure.

All that said, the A4LD is known as a problematic unit, especially the early units, and particularly so in 'truck/van' platforms.

[Arcus]

I had an '88 Thunderbird Turbo Coupe. Their computer said that all '88 Thunderbirds used an AOD. The V6 and V8 used the AOD while the Turbo Coupe used the A4LD. The A4LD in my car worked just fine till the VM blew a seal and the the engine began pulling transmission fluid though the vacuum lines. The VM he gave me had a tube that went 1/8 too far into the transmission but looked the same everywhere else. That 1/8 was the difference between working and eating itself up inside. The shop that rebuilt it had the same thing that happened to them with the wrong VM when they reinstalled the transmission after they rebuilt it.

[ADeMartino]

I had an '88 Thunderbird Turbo Coupe. Their computer said that all '88 Thunderbirds used an AOD. The V6 and V8 used the AOD while the Turbo Coupe used the A4LD. The A4LD in my car worked just fine till the VM blew a seal and the the engine began pulling transmission fluid though the vacuum lines. The VM he gave me had a tube that went 1/8 too far into the transmission but looked the same everywhere else. That 1/8 was the difference between working and eating itself up inside. The shop that rebuilt it had the same thing that happened to them with the wrong VM when they reinstalled the transmission after they rebuilt it.

Yup. The modulator controls hydraulic line pressure in the transmission, which affects shift points and 'apply' pressure of the clutch bands. Line pressure too low = premature shift points and low apply pressure for the clutch bands. The result of this is massive slippage (especially in high gear) and lots heat. In short, the trans ate its clutches in a hurry. The non-computerized AODs will do the same thing if the TV linkage/cable is improperly adjusted.

By '88, Ford did have most of the problems with the A4LD sorted out. A lot of the earlier models were a nightmare. The old C3 they're based on was a very light duty unit intended for four-cylinder and small V6 applications like Pinto, Mustang II, and similar 'low powered' models. They had to do a lot of beefing-up of the A4LD to get it to live in the Turbo Coupe. On the plus side, it was a fairly compact and efficient automatic once they got it dialed-in right.

[protege]

So called experts don't believe anyone that says something they don't think is right. I had a guy at an auto parts store that argued with me about what transmission my car had.

Been there, done that. I had some 10-minute oil change place try to sell me a "transmission service." Er, did I mention that my cars have always been stick-shifts? Last time I checked, dumping automatic transmission fluid into a four- (or five) speed will trash it in relatively short order Same shop also insisted that my car had five forward gears, never mind the 1,2,3,4,R pattern stamped into the gear lever knob. Granted, some Tercels *did* come with five-speeds. But, the base model coupe only came with four. Needless to say, I didn't go back.

Then there's the big chain garage...that insisted the Tercel took halogen lights, and told me I needed one of the replaceable bulb types. Again, that was true of some of those cars. But again, my car was the base model...which came with the older-style square lights, not the "aero" lights fitted to the other trim levels. He relented after following me outside to see the car

I see this crap all the time, and I'm a guy. I can't imagine how you ladies have it. I think it's freaking awesome that some women choose to work on their own cars and other things. BTW, anyone know where I can find one?

[mathnerd]

I think it's freaking awesome that some women choose to work on their own cars and other things. BTW, anyone know where I can find one?

Have you checked the auto parts stores for women who are about ready to vault the counter to beat the shit out of the moron at the register?

Seriously though, I've found that men tend to be either seriously turned on or seriously threatened by women who work on their own cars. There are, of course, exceptions, but the overwhelming majority fall into one of those two attitudes.

[protege]

Have you checked the auto parts stores for women who are about ready to vault the counter to beat the shit out of the moron at the register?

Unfortunately, there are never any around

[Deserted]

Have you checked the auto parts stores for women who are about ready to vault the counter to beat the shit out of the moron at the register?

That would be my girlfriend. She know more about cars than many auto parts lackeys do.

[mathnerd]

That's been me on more than one occasion.

[wolfie]

the packaging said it was for all Chevy V-8 engines from 396 to 454 cubic inches

Be fun to try to put that on a small block 400...

Exactly! They ignored the fact that the smallest big block is smaller than the biggest small block.

[ADeMartino]

Well, as has been demonstrated, the parts books aren't always right. I've even come across errors in factory parts manuals - stuff I know absolutely to be wrong. That's the difference between a 'book' guy and a 'real world' guy at the parts counter. The books are written, copied, recopied, reformatted, reprinted and so on so many times that it's virtually impossible for them to be 100 percent accurate. And factory parts manuals are often used to create aftermarket parts catalogs - and errors transcribing the information can lead to some real fun times, I can tell you.

And it doesn't help that the factories will sometimes make a running change midyear, and not properly document it. Then there are the guys who 'Frankenstein' their cars - the car is basically a mashup of parts from six other cars. Look, I know this is the essence of hot rodding. Hell, I've done it myself. As me about my 351C-powered Maverick some time. But I know what changes I've made and where the parts come from, so if I need to replace something, I can ask for exactly what's needed. But when the car gets sold to someone else....NOW there's a problem, because odds are that individual has no clue what the previous owner has done.

My favorites, though, were the people driving late-1970s and early-1980s GM products, the RWD models in particular, with special emphasis on the G-body cars (Olds Cutlass, Chevy Monte Carlo, Buick Regal, and Pontiac Grand Prix). Why? Because GM had a knack for playing mix and match with engines in those cars. It might be a Buick, but under your hood might reside an Olds, Pontiac, or even Chevrolet V6 or V8. And yes, the FACTORY did that. GM, in fact, got sued over that nonsense.

And the guys who insisted that 'all GM engines were the same'. (yes, that was my little whimper of resigned despair you just heard)

And let's not even get into that Olds diesel V8 debacle. It's just too painful.

[mathnerd]

And it doesn't help that the factories will sometimes make a running change midyear, and not properly document it.

I've been bitten by this one a few times with the car I currently drive. Of course, I have no clue what I'm talking about since I own a vagina and not a penis. Never mind that one of the issues in in the brakes, and those have been changed a time or two in the nearly 15 years the car's been on the road.

[Kal]

Seriously though, I've found that men tend to be either seriously turned on or seriously threatened by women who work on their own cars. There are, of course, exceptions, but the overwhelming majority fall into one of those two attitudes.

I know a song about that, more or less. To me, a woman who can do mechanical work of any sort is impressive, mainly on account of my mechanical ineptitude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYZTvRgTupY&feature=kp