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Price Warriors!
For those who don't know, there's a nice little site on the net drawn by this artist. It contains "Flame Warriors" which are basically types of people you can find on bboard systems. (bulletin board systems or forums)
Re reading through these things today, I found myself chuckling and then looking around at customers. So, here's the begining of the "Price Warriors" or customer types. (Shame there's no artwork of these guys)
Archaeologist This price warrior is the bane of all return policies. They save everything, squirreling it away for use at a later date. It doesn't matter if they bought the item several years before, they have the receipt and expect you to return it. After all, they were told to save that bit of paper should they want to return it right?
Whiner Whiner isn't much of a warrior, but their attacks can often whittle down the best defenses to get what they want. Whiner isn't beyond pestering a defender again and again with questions about why they can't return something. Over time, these questions take on a very sing songy or whiny tone. Whiner is the bane of all low level managers, and if spotted right away will quickly be passed of to someone else.
Lawyer The Lawyer is a strange warrior. They think that there's a law for everything. At least, the laws are always in their favor. Lawyer's favorite attack is to recount some obscure law that may or may not exist; in the hopes that the muddled effect it causes will prompt a defender to give in to their demands. Lawyer isn't typically involved in law in any form, but they'd like you to believe it. If backed into a corner, Lawyer will always threaten a lawsuit. Caution, Lawyer may turn into a Dailer if left with no options.
Dialer Dailer is the type of warrior who takes to heart the company's statement that they want to hear from them. Give them a phone and a care line and Dailer will pound the numbers long enough to get a response. Hated across the board by all members of management and employees for their sneak attacks; often Dailer will call without having ever made the problem known to the store. Dailer isn't beyond using the phone there in the store, though this is usually a bluff attempt to get what they want.
Janus So named for their two faced nature, Janus is a difficult warrior to spot. One moment they're happy about your service, speaking your praises. The next, they're complaining to management about something that went wrong. Exactly what Janus' agenda is remains unclear; though some think they are an extention of the Dark Clowns.
Dark Clown DC is a prankster of the worst sort. Sometimes found in a group called a "Murder" DC gets a great laugh out of making employees lives hard. DC's pranks can be as benign as moving things around in a store, or putting a wet floor cone on carpet; or as cruel as fabricating a complaint just to see what happens. Murders often work in tandem, going to great lengths to create problems for employees. If DC decides he or she doesn't like someone, DC may morph into Hitman.
Hitman Hitman has it out for you. There's no question. At some point in your working life you've done something to them. Whether it's deny a return, or rest on a couch on your day off; you've offended them in some way. Hitman has decided to hunt you down and get you fired, by any means possible. Hitman's attacks are typically silent, done at times when you are unable to defend. One popular tactic is to call in on your day off to complain. That way you're unable to prevent anything that happens as a result of it.
Crusader Crusader doesn't have it out for you personally. No, they're really not mad at you. They're mad at the company, the company's owners, the holding company, your supplier, or any number of other targets. Crusader then takes it upon themselves to do everything possible to bring "the man" down. The problem is, their attacks often bring you down with it; but they consider those casualties of war. "PETA is a good example of this."
Gobbledy Gook GG is a good person. They just don't know how to speak properly. It could be any number of reaons for this, from being drunk, high, to a non english speaker, or just plain strange. Either way expect to spend a good hour trying to discern just what GG is asking for. GG is more often found calling into call centers than in person.
Tart Tart thinks she looks sexy. The rest of the world thinks she looks like a car accident gone bad. Very bad. Tart's favorite targets are young male employees. Her choice of weapon are flashes down her shirt and some really bad innuendo. Nine times out of ten, Tart is between the ages of fifty and seventy, but she looks to be over ninety. There is no easy way to get away from Tart, though mumbing on about that bad rash you have may help. At the very least, you may get medical advice from Tart about how to clear that right up...
That's enough for now. I'll be posting more later. Feel free to comment on these or add your own.
Re reading through these things today, I found myself chuckling and then looking around at customers. So, here's the begining of the "Price Warriors" or customer types. (Shame there's no artwork of these guys)
Archaeologist This price warrior is the bane of all return policies. They save everything, squirreling it away for use at a later date. It doesn't matter if they bought the item several years before, they have the receipt and expect you to return it. After all, they were told to save that bit of paper should they want to return it right?
Whiner Whiner isn't much of a warrior, but their attacks can often whittle down the best defenses to get what they want. Whiner isn't beyond pestering a defender again and again with questions about why they can't return something. Over time, these questions take on a very sing songy or whiny tone. Whiner is the bane of all low level managers, and if spotted right away will quickly be passed of to someone else.
Lawyer The Lawyer is a strange warrior. They think that there's a law for everything. At least, the laws are always in their favor. Lawyer's favorite attack is to recount some obscure law that may or may not exist; in the hopes that the muddled effect it causes will prompt a defender to give in to their demands. Lawyer isn't typically involved in law in any form, but they'd like you to believe it. If backed into a corner, Lawyer will always threaten a lawsuit. Caution, Lawyer may turn into a Dailer if left with no options.
Dialer Dailer is the type of warrior who takes to heart the company's statement that they want to hear from them. Give them a phone and a care line and Dailer will pound the numbers long enough to get a response. Hated across the board by all members of management and employees for their sneak attacks; often Dailer will call without having ever made the problem known to the store. Dailer isn't beyond using the phone there in the store, though this is usually a bluff attempt to get what they want.
Janus So named for their two faced nature, Janus is a difficult warrior to spot. One moment they're happy about your service, speaking your praises. The next, they're complaining to management about something that went wrong. Exactly what Janus' agenda is remains unclear; though some think they are an extention of the Dark Clowns.
Dark Clown DC is a prankster of the worst sort. Sometimes found in a group called a "Murder" DC gets a great laugh out of making employees lives hard. DC's pranks can be as benign as moving things around in a store, or putting a wet floor cone on carpet; or as cruel as fabricating a complaint just to see what happens. Murders often work in tandem, going to great lengths to create problems for employees. If DC decides he or she doesn't like someone, DC may morph into Hitman.
Hitman Hitman has it out for you. There's no question. At some point in your working life you've done something to them. Whether it's deny a return, or rest on a couch on your day off; you've offended them in some way. Hitman has decided to hunt you down and get you fired, by any means possible. Hitman's attacks are typically silent, done at times when you are unable to defend. One popular tactic is to call in on your day off to complain. That way you're unable to prevent anything that happens as a result of it.
Crusader Crusader doesn't have it out for you personally. No, they're really not mad at you. They're mad at the company, the company's owners, the holding company, your supplier, or any number of other targets. Crusader then takes it upon themselves to do everything possible to bring "the man" down. The problem is, their attacks often bring you down with it; but they consider those casualties of war. "PETA is a good example of this."
Gobbledy Gook GG is a good person. They just don't know how to speak properly. It could be any number of reaons for this, from being drunk, high, to a non english speaker, or just plain strange. Either way expect to spend a good hour trying to discern just what GG is asking for. GG is more often found calling into call centers than in person.
Tart Tart thinks she looks sexy. The rest of the world thinks she looks like a car accident gone bad. Very bad. Tart's favorite targets are young male employees. Her choice of weapon are flashes down her shirt and some really bad innuendo. Nine times out of ten, Tart is between the ages of fifty and seventy, but she looks to be over ninety. There is no easy way to get away from Tart, though mumbing on about that bad rash you have may help. At the very least, you may get medical advice from Tart about how to clear that right up...
That's enough for now. I'll be posting more later. Feel free to comment on these or add your own.
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