The parade of the dim-and-dumb criminals

[Kit-Ginevra]

Each week in our local paper,they print the details of who's been in court this week.
Normally,this is a roll-call of 'drank too much,drove something they shouldn't've, took something they shouldn't've or whacked somebody they shouldn't've.' Occasionally, you get the criminal genius who wanders in...

Takers-of-things-they-shouldn't...(Large Ambitions)

My alltime favourite was 'Taking a Vehicle Without the Owner's Consent(namely the Dartmouth Ferry) Yep,they cut the mooring line and thought no-one would notice a large boat floating through the middle of town..

Takers-of-things-they-shouldn't...(Oddly Specific)
'theft of 23 cases of cheese and 23 boxes of crackers'.

Takers-of-things-they-shouldn't...(Unambitious)
'theft of one sandwich,value £1.05'
'theft of one ceramic dish,value £1'

Takers-of-things-they-shouldn't...(Ambitious,but Hungry)
'theft of credit card,mobile phone,wallet,hair straighteners,variety of bank cards... and Kellogg's Coco Pops to a value unspecified'

Drug-dealers...(Unambitious)
'Possession of cannabis,to a street value of NINEPENCE.' (Yes,it was mentioned at court how much time and effort was put into pursuing the owner of basically a very tiny leaf'

Possession of weapon... (Ambitious)
'Unauthorized possession in a public place of a screwdriver,a pocket knife and a SIX FOOT axe'

Destroyer-of-property... (Bemusing)
'Criminal damage of £300 to a door.... fine increased as was racially motivated'--he didn't like the colour of the door?

[crazylegs]

Destroyer-of-property... (Bemusing)
'Criminal damage of £300 to a door.... fine increased as was racially motivated'--he didn't like the colour of the door?

It'll depend on what said damage was - if it was because the owner was (or was perceived to be) targeted because of their race, or the damage was racially orientated then the charge will reflect that.

[An Haddock]

Possession of weapon... (Ambitious)
'Unauthorized possession in a public place of a screwdriver,a pocket knife and a SIX FOOT axe'

...and my bow?

[MoonCat]

'theft of 23 cases of cheese and 23 boxes of crackers'.

"Why did you steal 23 cases of cheese, buddy?"

"Because it was all they had."

[fireheart]

Takers-of-things-they-shouldn't...(Unambitious)
'theft of one sandwich,value £1.05'
'theft of one ceramic dish,value £1'


Drug-dealers...(Unambitious)
'Possession of cannabis,to a street value of NINEPENCE.' (Yes,it was mentioned at court how much time and effort was put into pursuing the owner of basically a very tiny leaf'

Re the first one, whenever the company I worked for had someone steal stuff, they'd call for security, resulting in every single male member of staff (and a few of the upper female management staff) getting involved in chasing the person down. At one point, we had around 10-15 people chasing a guy who had stolen...a chicken wing (from our deli department). This was hilarious to us.

Re the second one, there was an episode of Border Security ("Documentary?" about Australian Border Security and Quarantine officers) where they caught a guy smuggling drugs. The amount he was smuggling? .003g. The guy had stuffed it between his butt cheeks (it was hashish, basically the cakey type of pot). They gave him a small on-the-spot fine, but at least they didn't take him into court.

[Tama]

'theft of 23 cases of cheese and 23 boxes of crackers'.

We've forgotten the crackers, Grommit!

[cindybubbles]

'theft of 23 cases of cheese and 23 boxes of crackers'.

What were they going to do? Host 23 dinner parties?

In that case, they should have taken 23 cases of wine, too.

[Seshat]

Re the damage to the door: painting a swastika or a yellow star on the door of a jewish person is an example of a clear racially-motivated vandalism to the door. (And if the door was stained glass or polished wood, repairing it may well cost the amount specified).
I'm certain that there are other races which have similar, highly memorable and not too hard to paint, symbology that indicates 'I hate your race'. The Holocaust symbols are simply the ones that come most quickly to mind.

[Tama]

Yellow star? Do you mean the Star of David?

I just wanted to know if I'm thinking of the right symbol.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Yellow star? Do you mean the Star of David?

I just wanted to know if I'm thinking of the right symbol.

The yellow Star of David is what the Nazis made the Jews wear.

[Tama]

I knew about them having to wear a star, I just didn't realize it was a yellow one specifically.

[Chromatix]

The Star of David *is* typically yellow or gold, including on actual synagogues.

Yep,they cut the mooring line and thought no-one would notice a large boat floating through the middle of town.

Somebody clearly remembers reading The Big Six. Major plot point there was boats being set adrift like that - though generally much smaller ones - and eventually managing to catch the perps red-handed on camera. In the middle of a pitch-black night. Using 1930s photography equipment, including a jury-rigged, decidedly oversize flashlamp.

Technically it's a form of vandalism rather than conventional theft, but if they can prosecute it under theft laws, it's probably easier to make it stick.

[protege]

Re the damage to the door: painting a swastika or a yellow star on the door of a jewish person is an example of a clear racially-motivated vandalism to the door. (And if the door was stained glass or polished wood, repairing it may well cost the amount specified).

I was going to mention that as well. Since 9/11, at least here, some mosques and synagogues have seen a rise in vandalism. Broken windows, spray-painted racial and ethnic slurs on them, all of which can easily amount to several hundred (or even thousand) dollars in damages.

It's not just places of worship either. One of my paper route customers, who was black (and the only black family living in the neighborhood then), had a series of vandalism incidents at his house. After multiple incidents of finding garbage strewn everywhere and his tires slashed, the perp was soon caught. Seems he decided to spray-paint a certain racial slur on their driveway, and was uh, "dealt with."

That is, they beat the shit out of him until the cops got there. Apparently, the guy was told to bugger off, and he chose to attack. Not only did he get his ass kicked, but he got fines, a night in jail, and ordered to pay to have the paint cleaned off the driveway. No idea how much it cost, but it probably wasn't cheap.

[fireheart]

I was going to mention that as well. Since 9/11, at least here, some mosques and synagogues have seen a rise in vandalism. Broken windows, spray-painted racial and ethnic slurs on them, all of which can easily amount to several hundred (or even thousand) dollars in damages.

Over here in the last year or so, there's been an increase in anti-Muslim and anti-Semite attacks, mostly fueled by either the Palestine/Israel conflict, ISIS/ISIL, the ongoing boat issue or just plain old stupid idiocy. The anti-Semite stuff has mostly consisted of letterbox drops and a couple of assaults on Jewish schools (there's a small handful of them in this state), while the anti-Muslim stuff has been MUCH, MUCH more severe and has included attacks on Mosques (and Gurdwaras*), assaults at Muslim schools and petty stuff such as attacking anyone who has the name ISIS or who is wearing a hijab. It actually got to the point where one girl was attacked for having the NAME Isis, while a construction company called ISIS (which has been around for years) had a mixture of death threats, general threats and calls pleading with them to change the name. (They didn't cave)

*-Sikh temples. At a glance, Muslims and Sikhs LOOK very similar, but are anything but. (In fact, one can walk into a Sikh Gurdwara and be treated as though they've been there for years)

[MoonCat]

As a pagan, I have to say I'm pretty frickin' tired of that group of lunatics being tagged with the name Isis. ISIL is a good alternative and I wish the media would use it.

And the stupidity of people attacking girls because their name is Isis boggles the mind.