Grandma of the Year

[Sliceanddice]

my dad mother always treated me and my siblings like we where left over trash.

I wasn't a girly girly and she hate that and tried to change it.
The boy didnt do sports but was genius and great at computers but since he wasn't a mans man hes less than my cousin.
My sister was a girly girl but because she got the bi polar gene she was always treated like she was something to be left in the desert or an asylum.

and then she was insulted that we wheren't dotting and loving on her.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Perhaps the two grandchildren that she didn't want come from a child-in-law that she doesn't like, and the treasured grandchild comes from an in-law of whom she approves. Or it could be her children that she has issues with. Pretty heartless either way.

I would say that could have been my late dad's womb-donormother. Out of her 9 children (7 girls and 2 boys) she favored one daughter b/c she had married into money (that uncle had an appliance store, a record shop and for a time opened up a dress shop for my aunt back in the late 60's.) Those two kids she had with him she stayed up their butts growing up (or at least until my aunt and her hubby separated and then she cut herself off from the daughter and the kids.) She wasn't around me or my brother hardly (Grandma - Mom's mother - and middle aunt E didn't like her one iota.)

Prime example of Dad's mother's behavior: when I was born, of course Grandma and Aunt E were both at the hospital. Dad's mother showed up at the nursery along with one of Dad's sisters (not B - her then favored one but C) and made an offhanded comment about my not being pretty (I have photos of me at the hospital weighing 8 1/2 lbs and chubby w/3 chins - everyone at that hospital fell in love with me according to my Mom) and Grandma and Aunt E walked up and overheard it.

Apparently Aunt C realized this and was immediately embarrassed and was hustling her mother out of there while Grandma was giving that woman an earful and Aunt E looked like she wanted to throw the bitch out the window.

Needless to say, my mother was NOT happy when she heard about that. What few times I saw this woman in my life (and I can count those on both hands, including her deathbed) not once did she make any effort to get to know me, or about me or my interests. Nor did she share with any of her grandchildren (that I'm aware of) about hers. She was sent an invitation to my high school graduation (as a courtesy) and did not hear anything back (no big surprise there - she disliked my mother from the get-go and after my parents split up, she was even worse.)

Of course her daughters now revere this pathetic excuse and each year at Christmas they get together and prepare and distribute gift sacks of candy/fruit/nuts to the residents of the senior apartment complex their mother was residing at when she died in the early 90's. Nevermind that this woman was just as cold to most of them at periods just as she was to everyone else . . .

On the opposite end of the spectrum, there was Grandma, who didn't want me to get outside and do anything b/c she was afraid I'd hurt myself (she went overboard in the opposite direction and was at times, smothering as if she were trying to make up for the lack of attention I had from Dad's side of the family tree.)

And this is the same one who would fuss at me to wear a sweater because SHE was cold. Of course she didn't like it when I got older and would tell her "I'm not cold, I'm fine. If you're cold, then YOU put on a sweater." And then of course she'd call me a "sassy imp" and she was going to "ring my jaws like Christmas Bells." And that wasn't happening b/c I wouldn't get close enough to her left side (her left hand was paralyzed after a bout of blood poisoning when I was 7 and, even though she couldn't use that hand anymore, it would hurt like a lead weight when she slapped you with it.)


And later Mom would have to hear about my attitude when she came home from work. Of course Mom would tell her to back off and let me grow up. Of course Grandma did NOT like that and then an argument would start . . .and Mom would walk away and tell Grandma to stuff it, more or less, and go off to another part of the house . . .

And I'll stop here as I'm finding myself rambling again . . . but I will say this: that grandmother will be paid back for her favoritism one way or another before she leaves this world. Every dog has its day (as Mom will tell me) and hers will come. But at the same time, it's a shame the damage she's inflicting on her family in the meanwhile . . .

[blas]

Heh...I'm the pink sheep of my family, and I've always done everything my own way, to the beat of my own drummer.

Seems to me, on both sides of my family, that's unacceptable. I guess I should either have a "real" job by now, or be married popping out babies like all of my other female cousins, because if you aren't going to be a good wife, you best get a degree and earn yourself some "real" money!

Oh, and don't think that means I'm a tomboy and not girly girl and that's why. Just the opposite. I'm just a "high maintenance brat" (as I've been called behind my back) because I'm not wash and go like the rest of my female relatives. I'M NOT A MOM, I HAVE ALL MY OWN TIME TO DO WHAT I LIKE!

Yeah, my little brother is everyone's favorite. No big loss. At least my Korean aunt adores me and my grandma on my dad's side has always liked me for me.

[Sapphire Silk]

My family learned early on not to push my buttons about what I did with my life.

[brucetiki]

My two grandmother's (well, one was technically a great aunt but she raised Dad - long story) were at polar opposite ends of the scale.

I was one's 'golden child'. We were always really close, and I was always spoilt by her. In my uni days, I'd take her shopping and in return she'd basically buy all my clothes, which caused resentment from my sister, but she saw it as thanking me for taking her to the shops, and if my sister had done the same, she'd have been rewarded equally.

The great aunt, on the other hand, spoilt my sister, but never did a nice thing for me, nor had a nice thing to say about me. One of the last times I saw her was Christmas 2010, where I walked in, and she started making comments to Dad about my weight (while I'm not the smallest guy going around, I thought her comments were ironic given I'm one of the smallest guys in the family). That was the final straw and I refused to have anything to do with her ever since. Thankfully she died a few weeks ago - while I've been respectful around the family I've been openly celebrating around everyone else (my alarm for the day of her funeral was 'Ding Dong The Witch is Dead'

[DGoddessChardonnay]

The great aunt, on the other hand, spoilt my sister, but never did a nice thing for me, nor had a nice thing to say about me. One of the last times I saw her was Christmas 2010, where I walked in, and she started making comments to Dad about my weight (while I'm not the smallest guy going around, I thought her comments were ironic given I'm one of the smallest guys in the family). That was the final straw and I refused to have anything to do with her ever since. Thankfully she died a few weeks ago - while I've been respectful around the family I've been openly celebrating around everyone else (my alarm for the day of her funeral was 'Ding Dong The Witch is Dead'

And there you have my stepmom's parents, who barely acknowleged me or my brother b/c we weren't blood relations. Noticed that the very first summer my dad and stepmom were married when on two occasions, stepmom's mother made the FATAL mistake of introducing me to folks as "a friend of the family."

And it wouldn't surprise me that she didn't care much for me because I would *gasp* open my mouth and actually reply that I was actually their daughter's stepdaughter, which made HER (stepmom's mom) my step-gramdmother.

(This, of course, pissed my mother to the MAX and she would give my Dad an earful and a half upon hearing about this and would ask him why HE did not speak up for me, but that's another rant for another time.)
They would give out checks to the grandchildren at Christmas but would ignore me or my brother completely. Christmas 2010 was a prime example. They handed out toys to the younger two great-grandsons (my middle sis's kids) and checks to both sisters, as well as the eldest niece (the now 17 year old. Baby niece wasn't born then) but completely ignored me or my brother while we sat on the other side of the living room, watching (the only thing that kept my mouth shut while this was going on was the glass of wine I occupied myself with while taking mental notes of the scene.)

My stepmom handed me and my brother each a money envelope - and we knew it was from her and Dad b/c I know Dad's handwriting as well as I know my own.

The step-grandmother died last summer and neither me or my brother were mentioned in the obituary (not surprising) nor did we go to the funeral. And I also found out from her obit that before she had retired (I'd never known her to work for the last 30 years or so) that she had been a school teacher. Yet she behaved like she did toward me? Does not add up in my book because I would think teachers would be held to a high standard as far as interacting with children, whether or not they were her own, would be the same across the board.

Very odd she was. Not to mention I heard the "Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead" playing in my head when I found out she'd passed. IIRC that was pretty much what my Mom said after hearing the news (to me in private - she wouldn't lower herself to say such a thing to my stepmom, though.)