Public Address systems and the fun they cause.

[Dreamstalker]

Gurndigarn, I think I know which carrier that is...

On the same airline: "If you are seated next to a child, or someone who is acting like a child..."

(when an overly picky family was delaying pushback and getting everyone else visibly mad at them) "People, people! It's an airplane seat, not a living room set! Get your seat in a seat so we can leave on time, please!"....as expected, we were ten minutes late and said family had a tight connection which I think they ended up missing.

[K245five]

When I was at the airport getting ready to catch a flight out, I heard the following announcement go over the PA system:

"May I have your attention please! Would the Adams Family please report to the (airline) counter located near Gate C51? Would the Adams Family please report to the (airline) counter located near Gate C51? Thank you!"

[repsac]

Oh great. Now I'll have that song stuck in my head.

They're creepy and they're kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They're all together ooky,
The Addams Family.

Their house is a museum
Where people come to see 'em
They really are a scream
The Addams Family.

(Neat)
(Sweet)
(Petite)

So get a witches shawl on
A broomstick you can crawl on
We're gonna pay a call on
The Addams Family.

[BrightEyedKitty]

Middle of the day page is hit. The president comes on and announces. "Attention ***** Employees. You are all fired. Thank you."

Yay! No more work for a while and UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS!! *dashes out door before they change their mind*

[Gurndigarn]

Gurndigarn, I think I know which carrier that is...

Not unless they've been doing the same joke for the last 22 years... that's how long ago I heard it. That was on a different leg of the trip where we flew around a tornado in a DC-3. (No, I didn't realize it until we were on the ground. But I had a window seat and remember the wings flapping up and down like a bird as we taxied down the runway for takeoff. I swear that the wingtips were coming within a meter of the ground.)

[Erin]

I used to use this announcement whenever we got lost kids in the Fabric/Crafts Department in WalMart.

"Will the mommy who is lost please come to the Craft Dept. Your three-year old would like to speak with you".

[bigjimaz]

It wasn't an 's' or 'f' bomb, but right after the TV show started, I paged a CSI (instead of a CSM) to my register for customer assistance.

[RentalRacer]

I used to enjoy sucking helium and then making my pages. Always good for a laugh.

We had an older woman that worked in the deli who was known to stutter when she got flustered. One time she was getting slammed with customers so she paged her manager for help....K-k-k-kelly to the d-d-d-deli. Even though it was wrong, we all had to laugh at that one.

[JustADude]

It wasn't an 's' or 'f' bomb, but right after the TV show started, I paged a CSI (instead of a CSM) to my register for customer assistance.

What, person was so brain-dead they needed a forensics expert to help them figure out what they needed?

[repsac]

Flying out of Memphis several years ago, I remember one announcement that is funny now, but at the time wasn't.

Here we are sitting in the plane waiting for takeoff, when the pilot comes over the PA system. His voice was very quiet, very calm, and yet it reminded me of Harrison Ford in Star wars when he was talking into the mike in the detention cell. Basically, someone winging it.

I'll never forget what that pilot said either:

Attention passengers, would you please debark the plane in an even and orderly manner? Our engines are on fire.

[Gawdzillers]

I went to Tampa a week ago, and as we were about to board, an employee came on the PA and said, "Attention the flight from *some other place* has been delayed because of a storm" Everyone in that line groaned. Then came, "If you don't believe me, come look at the radar."

[bigjimaz]

What, person was so brain-dead they needed a forensics expert to help them figure out what they needed?

Maybe I was hoping Marg Helgenberger would show up instead of The Phyllis Diller look-alike that was on duty.

[Rubyred]

My ex would always get on the B&N PA system and make chicken noises.

His manager thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

[delorean623]

I was bored at work one night... Our store closes at 11pm. Usually I make the closing announcement at 1045, 1050, 1055 and 11.
This night, this is how my closing announcement went:

Attention Hastings guests, the time is now 9:15 and our store will be closed in 1 hour and 45 minutes. Please make your way up to our front lit registers, for your convenience we will be opening up at 9 am tomorrow morning, and as always we thank you for shopping at Hastings....your entertainment superstore.

[Witch of Endor]

I'm jealous, I've never worked in a place with a PA system before.

Once when I was about three, I got lost in a department store (Eaton's or Simpson's, probably -- showing my age here). I knew that the thing to do was to find someone who worked there, so I went to the cash and told the clerk that I was lost. She picked me up and put me on the counter and asked me for my mother's name, but instead I leaned over to the PA mic and called for my mother myself.