You know it's rude but...

[HotelMinion]

You do it anyway.
I'm talking about staring at someone's zit or sore on their faces.
I got an allergy attack from my stupid immune system in which it think something horrible is happening to me when it's not. Ok, so it all started when I was falling asleep finally yay! and I felt something on my lip that I felt I had to get off. So I reached up and scratched my face in that area. Well I guess I must've scratched too hard because my body thought it was threatened so it sent a lot of histamines and liquids to there. When I woke up I had this puff ball on my mouth that was itchy like hell and I didn't feel good. I looked like I'd been punched!
This has happened rarely before, (it only happens around February tho) I took some antihistamines to stop the puffiness. It didn't stop, it grew into a quarter sized area on the face. Even my eye was a bit puffed! And it was soooo itchy! And call me strange but I felt like things were CRAWLING in it!
The last time this happened it spread all around my mouth, and my lips looked like someone's who had too many lip injections. Thankfully it wasn't that bad. Now it deflated to almost normal and a gross scab appeared over it. It looks nasty. And it's all people stare at when talking to me. I heard one mention meth and another herpes!
Though I can't really point and say that's rude when before this happened I stared at someone's zit for a bit before peeling my eyes away to look at his own. But at lease I looked away. Some people don't. :/
I feel very ashamed to have this ugly thing, even though I know it's not my fault. Yesterday I was laughing at something on TV, and it cracked and bled so much. And I didn't know until someone pointed.
Sooo...is there anything you do that you know is rude but can't help doing anyway?

[MoonCat]

Don't be ashamed. Frankly I think it is a cold sore (which is a type of herpes but DOESN'T have anything to do with your sex life or your morals). Once the damn thing is in your system it's there for good and you will sometimes have an outbreak, often brought on by stress. They feel tingly sometimes, that's why it feels like something's crawling.

Anyway, what do I do that's rude? Sometimes I can't help staring at a really good-looking guy. Also I tend to interrupt people when they're talking to me and they aren't getting to the point. I'm trying to change that.

[bainsidhe]

Ouch, I hope it heals soon.
I have a mole on my cheek and one summer my glasses were rubbing and chafing it raw. So I placed a small bandaid over the mole, to protect it and give it a chance to heal. While at work, a small child asked me why I had a bandaid. Her mom hushed her and said I had a pimple. Thanks a lot.

[Seshat]

When I was early teens, and not yet into boys, I had a mole removed. It was right in the hickey zone, so LOTS of people assumed it was one, and made sure I knew it. SO embarassing!


What I do: avoid eye contact. When I'm coping well, I can look at their faces enough for it to be fake eye contact: most people don't notice that I'm lip-reading to help myself understand what they're saying, rather than looking at their eyes.
When I'm coping poorly, I'm staring at my feet. Or looking at some inanimate object. Or into the distance. Usually with my better ear (the right) turned towards them.

Thankfully most of the people I have to deal with are medical, and most that I choose to deal with are friends. And medical people - at least in my area - are becoming better accustomed to 'bedside manner' with people with mental health issues.

(Yes, this is one of the traits I have which has led me to suspect autism spectrum; but since I'm coping well enough, I can't be bothered to get a diagnosis.)

Advice for autism spectrum people and parents/carers of such: try the lip-reading trick. Or try looking at the chin, or forehead, or the nose. Anything that is 'close enough' provides good 'fake eye contact' as far as the neurotypical are concerned.

[Gerrinson]

I have to agree with MoonCat, that does sound like a cold sore aka oral herpes. I've suffered from them my whole life (I was infected by a family member as an infant) so I speak from decades of experience, here.

And what you described - itching, swelling, the 'crawling' feeling matches up exactly with what I would expect. You should definitely get tested, if it is an HSV infection, antihistamines will not help with a flare up.

[RealUnimportant]

I'll be honest here: my counter is set at such a height that, if my chair is properly adjusted, my eye level is approximately cleavage-height for a significant number of customers. This hasn't caused any outright embarrassments, but I do occasionally catch myself staring off into the distance, only to suddenly having a pair of shapely breasts in my sightline instead. My appreciation for them is 99.9% aesthetic nowadays, so looking away presents no real problem other than where to re-aim my focus:

...I can look at their faces enough for it to be fake eye contact: most people don't notice that I'm lip-reading to help myself understand what they're saying, rather than looking at their eyes.

So I do this instead. Or look at their foreheads, or hats, or headphones, or earrings. I used to have little problem looking people in the eye until a "friend" told me they found it rather off-putting that I was paying them so much attention. This left me very confused and avoidant for a long time, which led to multiple complaints that I wasn't paying people enough attention... So I've managed to work my way up to this happy medium, and haven't had complaints of either kind in social or work settings for a long time.

I do look at people's eyes as well, but a couple of my regulars have mis-aimed eyes and I never know which one to pay the most attention to - talking to their nose & forehead solves the issue nicely.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Al this talk about facial glitches reminded me of this scene.

[notalwaysright]

Breakouts don't phase me. When I see someone with something going on on their face (rash, pimple, cut, etc) my eyes flicker from whatever it is, back to their eyes. My CW had some skin cancer removed from her face, and I wanted to smack most of the people she helped, because I swear they ALL commented or asked about it.

I'm not sure if I do anything obviously rude. If someone has really greasy hair I don't like to look at it. Or... Okay, I know it sounds weird, but I don't like to see pregnant ladies bellies when they're really big. Even covered in clothes. It grosses me out, as does pregnancy in general. But again, it's not like they can help it, I just don't look down there.

[HotelMinion]

I have to agree with MoonCat, that does sound like a cold sore aka oral herpes. I've suffered from them my whole life (I was infected by a family member as an infant) so I speak from decades of experience, here.

And what you described - itching, swelling, the 'crawling' feeling matches up exactly with what I would expect. You should definitely get tested, if it is an HSV infection, antihistamines will not help with a flare up.

I have looked at photos of cold sores and is usually displayed as one big red sore like the one I have now. But I remember about ten years ago my lips puffed up and it was so itchy I was crying. Mom took me to the Dr. who drew blood and mentioned allergies. I can't remember too well. Anyway, back then, if I could rip my lips off and scrubbed my fingernails to scratch inside I would've, i was so tired of the itchiness. I was crying I was so miserable.
Anyway the blisters grew bigger and itchier, so out of desperation I grabbed a cup of cool water, put my lips in, and pressed them tightly together. Pop pop pop! (Sorry if eating). I didn't know if that would worsen it, but thankfully it helped deflate them and I browsed the medicine aisle and found some for allergies, since the Dr. mentioned it. Antihistamine like benadryll really help with the horrible itchiness. It healed soon after.
Last night, my scab got torn off while brushing my teeth, so I gently cleaned the wound and dabbed neospirin to numb the pain. Now today there is a neat scab about pebble size and it seems to be no more swelling. I just can't talk or laugh at all until it's gone. That's ok.
I also found out that kids can get cold sores which is causes by herpes. I don't remember if I ever got them as a kid. Or any other classmates. Huh.
So I don't know if it's an allergy or herpes. I'm no Dr. Maybe both? One can get cold and flu at the same time. Different viruses. Why not this? :/

[Kit-Ginevra]

How evil is it to suggest drawing eyes and a mouth around it to make it into a small smiley face?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Don't be ashamed. Frankly I think it is a cold sore (which is a type of herpes but DOESN'T have anything to do with your sex life or your morals).

Let's talk about herpes! Herpes, boberpies, banana-fanna-fo-ferbes, herpes! Ow! Hey, that spot on Gorbachev's head — herpes, trust me! Anybody here have herpes? Huh? Huh?

You people are the worst audience I've ever seen.

[Kit-Ginevra]

Leviticus 13:45-46

Off you go.Don't forget your little bell to ring

[morgana]

Anybody here have herpes? Huh? Huh?

You people are the worst audience I've ever seen.

Herpes zoster, aka shingles. Which I suggest the OP get checked for . . .

Something to try: elderberry extract. Best natural antiviral there is.

[BrenDAnn]

As some additional info, from a fellow cold sore sufferer, if you have at any time had chicken pox, that alone puts the virus responsible for it in your system. How did I find that out? I had a minor shingles outbreak a few years back, on my lower left abdomen. I get cold sores at least once a year, usually in the same spot on my lower lip, though I did just have a nasty one on my upper lip. Everything you described about your situation sounds like a cold sore. Mine, thankfully, don't get as bad as yours did. Maybe your body freaks out about the cold sore in a way that makes it worse? I'm not sure, but I'm glad it's healing up for you now.

[Seshat]

Herpes - many forms of it - now has an antiviral.

The virus has a nasty preference for hiding inside certain parts of the body where the antivirus can't reach it. I'd have to look up exactly where, but this is why it comes as a pattern of 'outbreak/rest period/outbreak'.

During an outbreak, apply the appropriate antiviral for the herpes type you have.

For cold sores, the brand-name version of the antiviral comes as an over-the-counter ointment called Zovirax. (At least in Australia.) A pharmacist can verify whether or not the antiviral is appropriate for your particular lip problem.

For shingles or genital herpes or any other variant, see a doctor the moment you get blisters or the pre-blister rash. You have about three days to start on the course of antivirals if you're going to get the maximum effectiveness - and the sooner the better.

REMINDER: as always, this advice is NOT a replacement for advice from a doctor. Please please please always see a medical professional.


Also: there is a great deal of work happening in antiviral medicine right now. Broad spectrum antivirals are very difficult to make, but they're designing specific antivirals, attempting to start with ones which cause a great deal of suffering but for which the mutation rate is slow.
So please don't assume that a viral disease can't be treated. It's slowly becoming more and more likely that any given virus has a preventative, a cure or at least a treatment.