Fun in the Wal-Mart Parking Lot

[Myra]

So yesterday must've been Idiot Day in the Wal-Mart parking lot. I saw several of 'em.

Once I got into town from work, (I work 40 miles away from home) I stopped off at Wal-Mart to pick up a couple things I needed. As I pulled in, I saw a police officer taking a young teenaged girl in handcuffs to the car. So that was idiot number one, getting punishment for being an idiot.

I find a nice close parking spot so I don't have to waddle too far. (I'm 38 weeks pregnant.) Right in the spot in front of me, (if I pulled on through to the spot in the next aisle) there is an up-close spot, but there was a shopping cart right in the middle of the spot. A guy about my age (mid-20's) noses his pickup truck to stake his claim on the spot. Then he jumps out, yapping on his cell phone. I have my window open, so I can hear him yapping about lazy people to the person on the other line. He then flings the cart, as hard as he can, to the lane of traffic that is in front of the store, forcing a lady to screech to a halt. He realizes what he's done, and goes to fetch the cart. But her passenger has already gotten out, grabbed the cart, and moved it off to the side out of everyone's way.

"Don't worry about it!" she snapped at him before jumping back in her truck and they took off.

"Man what a bitch!" the kid remarked. Okay, WHO was the asshat who flung the cart, nearly making them hit it???

Anyways. Next. I open my door, and go to swing a leg out. It takes me a minute to pull myself up and out of my low-lying car, and as I step aside to check my purse to make sure my keys are there, an old couple in a pickup FLY into the spot next to mine, nearly hitting my open car door. I fling it shut just in time. Of course, I realize, my keys are still in the ignition of my car. The old people just sit in their truck, not moving or anything, watching me try all the doors and even the hatch of my station wagon. They watch me curse and whip out my cell phone to call Husband to bring up his spare key. They watch me sit there angrily, because my car is running so I'm not comfortable with leaving it there to run and grab the stuff I came for. They watch my sister-in-law pull up, she'd been at my apartment, and she brought my spare. They watch me get inside, turn off my car, get my keys, then go into the store with my SIL.

I come out fifteen minutes later. THEY'RE STILL SITTING THERE. Yeah, whatever was SO important that they just HAD to whip into that spot nearly taking out my car door, I do not know.

So later that night, I return to pick up something I forgot. I'm trying to find a close spot again, because after doing housework all evening, my back is KILLING ME. Towards the end of an aisle, I see this redheaded kid. He sees me. He makes EYE CONTACT with me. He sees me turn to the aisle next to his car. Still, with his back turned to me (thank GOD!) he starts to PEE in the parking lot. Now, the lot isn't exactly empty. It is 11:30 at night, but there are still a LOT of people coming in and out of the store. I ended up in line behind this kid. He didn't smell like liquor or slur his words or look drunk, he looked perfectly lucid, purchasing his cigarettes. I very nearly told him "You know, they have bathrooms at the front of the store here, and they're quite nice...you didn't have to water the parking lot..." But I didn't. Oh well.

But yeah. That was my experiences with dumbness yesterday at Wal-Mart. Joy to me.

[blas]

Myra my dear, every day is Idiot day at Wal Mart

As for those old people, it was probably the highlight of their day to just sit in a parking lot and stare. Old people don't really have anything better to do. And that type of driving is just senility and entitlement. Either that or they forgot if they were at the right place or they forgot who they were all together. Or the the husband had to sit and wait while the wife went through her diaper bag sized purse to make sure she had all of her 100 weekly coupons.

For the boy peeing in the parking lot.........lots of men, young and old, will take advantage of having such handy...equipment, and will pee anywhere and everywhere outside despite a bathroom being nearby. Sometimes I wish it could be that easy for us ladies to just pop a squat anywhere we wanted and let er rip.

I hate my weekly outing to Wal Mart. I cannot stand the people who park their carts at the freezers and STARE at the freezers and coolers for what seems like hours, just staring into space. They are always standing right in front of the freezer door that holds the items you need.

I hate nearly being ran over by packs of children on Heelies going up and down the aisles towards the medicine and cosmetics.

I can't stand all the deserted half full carts in the middle of aisles.

I can't stand all the self check outs being occupied by morons who keep double scanning items or not understanding how to use the self checkout at all.

[Food Lady]

I really hate Walmart. If only Target had the stuff I need....

[hawkchick11]

Blas is right, every day is idiot day at Walmart. We stopped there yesterday just to look at the flowers they had, and somehow, this guy came tearing down an aisle in the parking lot and almost hit me and my son. Normally this wouldnt be out of the ordinary, but this idiot was driving down an aisle that was part of the parking lot that had been blocked off for the flower/greenhouse area. He had to have moved the barrels so he could get in, but I'm not sure why, because its not like he could park there.

[Gawdzillers]

Sometimes I wish it could be that easy for us ladies to just pop a squat anywhere we wanted and let er rip.

Men like peeing anywhere we want. It makes us feel dominant over everything we see. Peeing off a bridge is the most satisfying.

[JustADude]

He had to have moved the barrels so he could get in, but I'm not sure why, because its not like he could park there.

And thus is further proof:

If it makes sense, it's not allowed™.

[Rocko]

If you guys think it's bad dealing with the idiots who shop there the couple times a week you shop there, you should try dealing with them 5 days out of the week like I have to do.

[MadMike]

For the boy peeing in the parking lot.........lots of men, young and old, will take advantage of having such handy...equipment, and will pee anywhere and everywhere outside despite a bathroom being nearby.

The last time I did that, I actually had good intentions. No really, I'm serious.

My supervisor and her husband had a nice big house built out in the woods, and had a housewarming party for all their coworkers and friends. But as far as I could see, they only had one bathroom. Huge house, but only one bathroom.

I was drinking heavily, and it wasn't long before I had to... give back the beer I had rented.

I couldn't see tying up the one bathroom when someone who... as you put it, has less convenient equipment, might need it, so I wandered off in the dark to find a place to go.

However, I ended up paying the price, when I stepped into a hole where a huge tree stump had been pulled up, and thrown back into the hole upside-down. My leg got wedged in the roots, and I almost lost one of my sandals trying to get loose. So I ended up having to use the bathroom anyway so I could clean the wound.

When I rejoined the party, my leg was still quite tore up, but everyone was so ripped, only one person even noticed.

[KamenRiderOsaka]

Sounds like a normal day in the walmart parking lot. I cant stand walmart, and I have an aneurysm everytime I go there. However, theyre cheaper than the local HEB, and I'd go on a murder rampaging spree there.

[Estil]

Thank God I can order most Wal-Mart sorts of stuff online. It's cheaper, tax free (and sometimes free shipping), and you don't have to deal with SC's like the ones above.

[justZu]

It is 11:30 at night, but there are still a LOT of people coming in and out of the store.

That's prime time for regular WalMart shoppers, don't ya know? Who needs to put their babies and toddlers to bed when they can drag them out filthy and half-nekkid for a midnight snack of cigarettes and pork rinds. Bonus points if the parents are drunk. Triple points if he's wearing a beater and a dirty ball cap and she is pregnant wearing hootchie pants.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Sometimes I wish it could be that easy for us ladies to just pop a squat anywhere we wanted and let er rip.

It can't be that difficult, judging from the number of ladies who will hover over the toilet bowl and hit everything BUT the bowl. Just be sure to watch out for poison ivy.

Anyhow, my favorite male-peeing-somewhere-other-than-a-restroom story comes from the time I was coming back from a Brewer game outing that had been sponsored by my dad's work (OT: I do not miss that garbage dump County Stadium one bit). The Brewers won on a grand slam in the ninth inning so we all were in a jovial mood. We were on the bus leaving and we stopped under a highway underpass where we saw a bunch of guys watering the foliage. We could see them plain as day and were laughing and commenting on it at length.

One more thing about the kids being taken to Wally World late at night--I can remember being rousted out of bed a few times when I was little so that mom could go to the grocery store. My parents worked some odd shifts then, and nighttime was the only time they could get out to the store. However, mom made sure to change me out of my pajamas into regular clothes before we went.

[Primer]

Men like peeing anywhere we want. It makes us feel dominant over everything we see. Peeing off a bridge is the most satisfying.

Just watch out for the electric fence below! Ask my DH if you need/want details!

[DarthRetard]

When I was 9, my dad tricked me into whizzing on an electric fence....that lying bastard.....

Now he wonders why I won't take him seriously...

[ArenaBoy]

Off topic but the mention of peeing made me remember a story.

A few years ago a friend and I ran in a road race for the day. Before races they usually have porta johns or we use a building that's being used to hold the runners. We ran the race, I finished ahead of my friend, I waited for him. When he crosses the line he looks angry. I ask and his reply: "Some chick took a leak on my shoe! Right at the starting line too!" I've also witnessed plenty of males and females wandering into the woods at the party venue to do their business.