The Sign we all Wish we Could Have

[MystyGlyttyr]

I put one up in the candy store once...

"Anything you leave here becomes mine. Yay, free child labor!"

...boss made me take it down before anyone saw it, though. *sulks*

[Lace Neil Singer]

The sign I had up in the pet section was "The Pet Section Is Not A Creche"; the sign I wanted to put up but which was vetoed by the IM was "If You Treat Me Like A Babysitter You Can Pay Me The Standard Rate." Well, I thought it was funny. *joins Mysty in sulks*

[rdp78]

Love those signs.

At my old job (shipping clerk) they actually charged extra to people who were bit@hing about their stuff and the boss was the one who did it. Anyway I've haven't seen cool signs like those.

[Crosshair]

A few good ones.

"Never mind the dog. Beware of owner."
"These premisies protected by Smith & Wesson."
"Anyone found here at night will be found here in the morning."

Saw this one on "Americas Funniest home videos"
"No Trespassing, Unless you can cross this field in 9 seconds. The bull can do it in 10."

[purplecat41877]

I saw a sign at the card shop I used to work at (1 of the 3 stores I worked at when I was at my 1st retail job). The sign said that there would be a $5 charge for whining.

[Becks]

At a candy shop in Port Dalhousie, there's a sign saying "Children left unattended will be sold to the circus" Oh, how I wish it were true!

Nah, the circus would be too much fun for the kids. Sell them to the Amish. They'll have to WORK.

[CaroPhoenix]

At one of the merchandise booths at the Maryland Renn Faire (I think it's the one that sells instruments) they have a sign that says:

Unattended children will be sold as slaves.

At a used bookstore I sometimes frequent they have a sign that basically says there will be an additional charge if you are whiny and/or rude. Or something like that. (I haven't been to that particular used book store in a while).

[Imogene]

At one of the merchandise booths at the Maryland Renn Faire (I think it's the one that sells instruments) they have a sign that says:

Unattended children will be sold as slaves.

Ooh! Isn't that the sign in the store Jennie Breeden works at in Devil's Panties?
Heck, there was a strip about it. A soccer mom leaves her two kids in the comic store while Jennie's on the phone. She finds the kids. The last panel, they're in bird cages on the counter.

[powerboy]

I think I will try to put up one that says

"If you not buying anything, then we will charge you $3.50"

[Rapscallion]

Someone sent some through the email at work today. I liked this one.



Not sure why I like it, but I do.

Rapscallion

[DigitalEngine]

Here's one from an internet cafe where I hang out:

"Shoplifters will be beaten to a pulp. Survivors will be prosecuted."

And another one I saw in a bar somewhere:

"Don't drink and drive. You'll spill your drink."

[ForestDragon]

One of my favorites that I saw in a comic shop read "Shoplifters will be merrily beaten to a bloody pulp." Made for some amusing mental images. Idrinkarum, I think I've seen the sign you mentioned. It goes something like "If you are nasty, whiny or just plain rude there will be a $10 surcharge for having to put up with you."

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Rapscallion: GEEEZ, that's hilarious!!!!!

Okay. There was an ex-marine here in town named Pappy that ran a fried chicken joint on campus. Chicken, fries, beer, soda. That was pretty much the menu. The sign on the counter said:

"This ain't McDonalds. You don't get it your way. You get it my way, or you don't GET the son of a bitch."

[repsac]

A coffee house I go to has one that says. "Unattended children will be given a cup of espresso and a kitten."

[repsac]

Saw this one on "Americas Funniest home videos"
"No Trespassing, Unless you can cross this field in 9 seconds. The bull can do it in 10."

Funny, but true. I've walked up on a bull while coon hunting and I can say, they do not like being woken up. However, when all else fails, throwing the shot gun at them will trip them up enough so you can scale the fence.