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I think I found a new way to get people out of my way, heh heh.
I was in Wal-Mart yesterday, already in a foul mood after getting into a verbal altercation with a snot-nosed SC woman in the pharmacy (I won't go into detail on that one since it got a bit ugly for this site, though I'm proud of conjecturing that she resulted from her father's performing certain sexual acts with various barnyard animals). And of course, while I was there, school let out and there were mobs of families wandering around trading war stories about how little Johnny peed his mat again this year, or little Susie sawed her finger off with safety scissors, or whatever.
So while I'm trying to get to the frozen foods, this family reunion suddenly springs up around me, when about four families who live in the same town of 8,000 people BUT HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN YEARS APPARENTLY all abruptly find each other at the same time and start trading stories about who died, who's married, who had surgery on what internal parasite, etc.
And of course, they have to all have their carts catty-cornered through the aisle and blocking up approximately 2/3 of the store. I managed to squirm around most of them, but at the end of the aisle, two women were chattering a mile a minute about how stupid their husbands were and how much money they spent on their designer crap bags or whatever it is 50-year-olds pretending that all the botox makes them look anything but mannequin-like talk about. And they had their carts literally nose-to-nose across the aisle, standing beside them and babbling.
I tried an "excuse me", but I don't think they heard me over their banshee chat, or they were just ignoring me because obviously, rather than walk five feet past them out of the aisle, I should brawl my way back through the rest of the roving hoard 50 feet and leave that way.
So, being cranky and tired already, I instead loudly declared "Could you PLEASE move?? You're blocking my only exit from the fuckwit carnival!"
There was silence in the aisle, and both women looked at me with huge eyes and gaping mouths. I would say their eyebrows went up, but since the upper halves of their faces were completely immobile, I can't be sure. But they parted carts and I'm sure enjoyed quite a bit of gossip about the rude redhead after I left. I didn't care because I was out of the hellhole within ten minutes.
I was in Wal-Mart yesterday, already in a foul mood after getting into a verbal altercation with a snot-nosed SC woman in the pharmacy (I won't go into detail on that one since it got a bit ugly for this site, though I'm proud of conjecturing that she resulted from her father's performing certain sexual acts with various barnyard animals). And of course, while I was there, school let out and there were mobs of families wandering around trading war stories about how little Johnny peed his mat again this year, or little Susie sawed her finger off with safety scissors, or whatever.
So while I'm trying to get to the frozen foods, this family reunion suddenly springs up around me, when about four families who live in the same town of 8,000 people BUT HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN YEARS APPARENTLY all abruptly find each other at the same time and start trading stories about who died, who's married, who had surgery on what internal parasite, etc.
And of course, they have to all have their carts catty-cornered through the aisle and blocking up approximately 2/3 of the store. I managed to squirm around most of them, but at the end of the aisle, two women were chattering a mile a minute about how stupid their husbands were and how much money they spent on their designer crap bags or whatever it is 50-year-olds pretending that all the botox makes them look anything but mannequin-like talk about. And they had their carts literally nose-to-nose across the aisle, standing beside them and babbling.
I tried an "excuse me", but I don't think they heard me over their banshee chat, or they were just ignoring me because obviously, rather than walk five feet past them out of the aisle, I should brawl my way back through the rest of the roving hoard 50 feet and leave that way.
So, being cranky and tired already, I instead loudly declared "Could you PLEASE move?? You're blocking my only exit from the fuckwit carnival!"
There was silence in the aisle, and both women looked at me with huge eyes and gaping mouths. I would say their eyebrows went up, but since the upper halves of their faces were completely immobile, I can't be sure. But they parted carts and I'm sure enjoyed quite a bit of gossip about the rude redhead after I left. I didn't care because I was out of the hellhole within ten minutes.
You are now my new hero! 
It's entertaining but annoying at the same time.
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