Various airplane sightings

[Dreamstalker]

This one wasn't sucky, just weird. I had the misfortune of being crammed into a window seat next to an older lady encased in velour with bad appliques on it (WTH is it with old ladies and velour, anyway?).

She tried to board with a full-sized Tumi rolling suitcase; as the flight was absolutely full, she took up 15 minutes trying to cram it into the overhead. Why she wasn't forced to check it, I don't know (I could tell plenty of people wanted to check her right out of the plane). I was also party to the following:

--getting glared at when I tried to put my tray down, as her elbow was in the way (how does one person's elbow take up an armrest and a half?)
--also getting glared at when I dared to get up to use the lavatory
--enveloped in the following smells for three hours: old lady, citrus mint gum, bad perfume and equally bad breath
--she was reading out loud to her husband, who was clearly involved in his own diversions (Sudoku, IIRC...not something one wants to get distracted while doing). Somehow even though she was facing the aisle seat she managed to talk in my ear.
--a minor freakout when we were descending through heavy clouds and she thought the blinkenlights on the wingtips were lightning.

Near the end of the flight, I glimpsed the attendant slip her two bags of the airline coffee. She thought it was the best coffee ever and apparently wheedled the attendant into sneaking her some I mean yeah, it was pretty good for airline coffee, but not so good I'd ask for a bag of the stuff.

On taxi to the gate, she proceeded to whine to her husband and the attendant about the arrival delay (10 minutes--well if you hadn't been such an ass about that suitcase we maybe would have left on time and been landed on time...you think this is bad, wait until you're standing around at baggage claim) and how they should open the rear doors to let people deplane right now (if you'd like to deplane onto an active taxiway in the dark while wearing black, go right ahead).

[IT Grunt]

(if you'd like to deplane onto an active taxiway in the dark while wearing black, go right ahead).

In this case, that would probably be a happy ending.

[Jack7957]

and how they should open the rear doors to let people deplane right now (if you'd like to deplane onto an active taxiway in the dark while wearing black, go right ahead).

I've done that, I think it was JetBlue, though I can't remember which airport. Both boarding and deplaning, they used both the front and back doors, so depending on which row you were in, would determine which door you went in.

[Dreamstalker]

SWA does that sometimes. This was a long-haul 757 (American) coming in from Dallas, there also might have been a safety issue with opening the rear door in those conditions if it wasn't an emergency (dark, raining, general chaos on the ground as everything was coming in at once).

In this case, that would probably be a happy ending.

I have a feeling one of the attendants wanted to tell her she was happy to do so.

She was one of those people who stand up right after touchdown and insist they're meeting someone in the terminal 15 minutes ago and could the pilot hurry up When we finally did deplane, she wrenched the overhead open and her damn Tumi almost came down on my head. For the love of Gord if you know the plane is oversold please check those things at the gate (the first 5 minutes trying to cram it into the bin should have told you to stop. trying.)!