HOLY CRAP!! Real life Clerks reference!

[Spiffy McMoron]

So I was out buying groceries and I was walking up the dairy/eggs aisle. I stop, I get a dozen eggs, I open them up to see if any of them were cracked or broken. I then look at the lady in front of my, and I notice she's got two cartons open.

OK, whatever, maybe she really likes eggs. I don't know.

I'm about to continue shopping, when I noticed she was inspecting each egg, and then picking and choosing which egg to put in her dozen! I half expected her to start doing some durability tests on the eggs as well.

[blas]

Was she a guidance counselor?

Hell I thought the worst of the Milkmaids were at the grocery store until I worked at the gas station. It's really true, they reach and keep reaching further back as if there really is a gallon of milk that won't expire until 2011.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I open egg cartons and wiggle each one to make sure it's not broken, but that's it. If they are broken, they will usually be glued in place and not wiggle. I don't take them out. Or try to see how they roll.

[MMATM]

If you want milk that won't expire 'til 2011, wait until July 2010 and buy Parmalat.

And I can easily picture someone opening EVERY . LAST . ONE of the egg cartons to pick out the best egg or eggs from each, to make the "Dream Dozen". Only to take that dozen home and smash their perfectly-formed little shells to pieces in their epic failure to properly make an omelet. Then they'll return the smashed dozen to the store and complain that the eggs were "defective".

That, or they'll take their "Dream Dozen" home, prop the carton up on the mantel so all 12 are prominently displayed, and adore them until they begin to stink. Then, they'll return those eggs as well. "Defective" obviously. Nobody ever told them eggs had to be refrigerated. And nobody reads what the carton says, anyway. I want to speak your manager!

[Spiffy McMoron]

Was she a guidance counselor?

I was tempted--VERY tempted--to ask her that, but if I did, I'd have to explain the story to her, and then I'd read a letter to the editor in the newspaper about some "drug-addled whipper-snapper" accosting innocent women in random Safeway dairy aisles.

I open egg cartons and wiggle each one to make sure it's not broken, but that's it. If they are broken, they will usually be glued in place and not wiggle. I don't take them out. Or try to see how they roll.

Well, yeah--everybody does (or should do, anyway). Nobody wants to buy pre-broken eggs. But c'mon--you're going to be breaking them soon anyways, so why all of the hunting?

[Imogene]

I swear, I went into a grocery store (Tom Thumb?) a few weeks ago, picking up eggs for Mom (forget why she needed them) and every single carton I opened had either: missing eggs, or all the eggs had extremely noticeable cracks. I eventually just grabbed the carton with the fewest missing eggs, and added uncracked eggs from another carton, thus continuing the Circle of Life for that particular freezer.

[Listerfiend]

Nothing to do with the eggs business, but when my store had a huge power-outage recently I had the joy of creating a sign so customers knew we were open. Of course, I made sure it said, "I assure you we're OPEN." Only one customer that came in got the reference (or at least said anything).

[Blueberry]

I freely admit I check each egg for cracks.
No durability checks though, sorry.
My husband thought I was crazy and wasting time until he bought a 12 pack of eggs for a brunch and discovered more than half were cracked on the bottom.
He realizes now that hey I have a reason for some of the crazy things I do!

[mattm04]

I do the "wiggle" test on eggs, but I have better things to do with my time then hand select eggs I will most likely crack to make breakfast.

[CancelMyService]

A gas station near me had a homemade "I Assure You, We're Open" sign when their parking lot was being repaved (and it did look like the store was closed).

Part of me wanted to go in and buy some paper towels and some glass cleaner.

[Becks]

Did I mention that a few weeks ago the man of the household and I went to the actual Quick Stop?

We did.

Forgot the camera, though.

[Bella_Vixen]

Becks, and I still haven't forgiven you for not even getting a receipt, at the very least.

[CancelMyService]

I would have went next door and asked if I could rent Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.

[Becks]

Becks, and I still haven't forgiven you for not even getting a receipt, at the very least.

Maybe if I can talk you into visiting again, I can talk the man of the household into taking use there.

I would have went next door and asked if I could rent Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.

I would've, but... (and I SWEAR this is the truth!!!) it was closed. If you can imagine such a circumstance.