Its my ring...

[AnqeiicDemise]

I've been hearing a lot of commercials on the radio for jewelers going on about how getting an engagement ring is OH SO important and that you won't get pressured at their store so go on in to find the ONE RING.

It reminded me as to *why*, five months after marriage, I still don't have an engagement ring.


When the hubs asked me to marry him, he knew I was anti-ring because at the time, I worked in a kitchen and nothing more intricate than a simple band was nixed from there as a safety hazard. Instead, he gave me a RAM card and I loved him for it as it brought my computer almost to max capacity. (yes, we're geeks. )

About eight months later, I got an office job. I decided then, since I worked at an office, I could and wanted, to have a pretty little ring on my finger and just show it off as I got tired of explaining why I didn't have a ring but was engaged.

I'm a simple gal, so this is what I wanted:

White gold.
Emerald gem.
Simple band.


Simple, right?


So one day, I'm at this little rock quarry shop (I like to purchase crystals and rocks a lot) and I noticed a sign behind the counter: Gems for sale.

I thought "awesome! since I' can't seem to find a place that sells engagement bands with an EMERALD GEM, I'll buy them separtely and get them mounted. HUZZAH!"

Lo, and behold, they had some really simple bands too, for like $400 bucks.


I show interest to the lady behind the counter, she shows me some bands, I ask about resizing. She says they'll do it for a small fee. (yeah, warning there, huh? I was stupid, and kept going.)


M: me
SW: sucky woman

m: so, how much for resizing, like, exactly.
sw: well, about five dollars per ring size increased.
m: not bad...
sw: so, what type of diamond are you interested in?
m: I don't want a diamond.
sw: why not?
m: because I don't like diamonds. They're overrated and in my book, just plain ugly. How much for an emerald to mount on the band.
sw: -frowns- you *dont* want an emerald.
m: Why not?
sw: because its a soft gem and it'll scratch and break really easy.
m: -looks down at an emerald ring bought seven years ago by the father- well, I haven't had a problem with this one in years. Can I look at the emeralds, please?
sw: you *don't* want an emerald. its soft. it'll break.
m: but I *do* want an emerald.
sw: you'll regret it. here, look at this green diamond!
m: I *don't* want a diamond. The properties of a diamond are different than an emerald.
sw: -points to the ring on my right hand- I don't think that's a real emerald.
m: Its natural. We had it appraised.
sw: -huffs- a diamond is better for an enga--
m: You know what? Fuck you. Take your goddamned diamonds and shove them up your ass. Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what type of gem I should get for MY engagement ring? That's like telling the bride she can't have chocolate cake because it'll make her fat.
Everyone in the store:
m:-slams the $70 purchases I was about to make on the counter- Do yourself a favor and make room up your ass for these too. I'm out of here.



Now in retrospect, I went over board with the swearing and all, but I was just so damned pissed.

I'm sorry, but shouldn't *I* get a say as to what type of gem I want on MY goddamned ring?

Thinking about it still makes my blood boil.

[Crazeyal]

Yup.

Overboard.

But leaving and telling her she could KYA?? Spot on. Suggesting alternatives and giving reasons why is good customer service. When the customer counters with obvious knowledge and preferance, and you continue to push for the more expensive unwanted options? It's BADGERING.

[Shopping4Dummies]

It's my ring...

I have to laugh at your story. My first husband bought me a diamond engagement ring, against my wishes. Four years later that ring was in a pawn shop, having been hocked to fund one of his "street" dates. It probably didn't buy him much; the ring was a third carat at best and was flawed, but it was all he was willing to put into the ring at the time (you would have thought I would have seen the big DANGER! DANGER! CHEAP ARSEHOLE! sign flashing above his head, but I digress.)

I met my second husband (whom I love and adore!!) a month after my divorce. We dated for a few months, then he started hinting about buying a ring. He asked what size diamond I wanted, I said "I don't!" Before he could panic that I was saying I didn't want to marry him, I explained that I had a particular dislike toward diamonds and pearls (don't know why, just don't like them) and that I thought they were overpriced by a mile. We go to a store and got THE EXACT SAME TYPE SALESPERSON!!! He rambled on and on about how it was ONLY love if it were a diamond, how diamonds were a good investment, how my future fiance DID NOT LOVE ME if I did not get a diamond. Needless to say, we weren't there very long. We bought a beautiful tanzanite ring for FAR LESS from the jeweler a few doors down, and I couldn't be happier with my engagement ring. I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world, because it was the ring I WANTED! People put way too much emphasis on the stupid ring, anyway.

[Soulstealer]

You make finding a guy and going ring shopping sound like such a pleasant experience.
What does she mean by getting scratched and damaged? Do you plan to be in a lot of bar fights of something?

[Crazeyal]

Exactly the reason she didn't get one before. Hell, my wedding band looks like it's been through a war! Most people don't do excavation for a living, but if you do things like gardening, yardwork or sometimes even housework, a soft stone can become marred.

[Gabrielle Proctor]

Well, that will teach her....Remind me never to badger you...but yeah...your ring, your preference. You want an emerald, get your emerald!

I personally want a pearl. A simple band either white gold, silver, or platinum. A *natural* pearl, not farm raised crap. And I want two little diamonds(or anything else like a saphire, emerald, or ruby) on either side. And be damned anybody else who says I can't have it! I will go bridezilla on your ass!

But PS- Just calmly state. E-m-e-r-a-l-d is what I want, if you can't help me with that I will take my business elsewhere. Period. You want to make a sale today or what?

[Becks]

The clerk was a bitch to an infinitive degree. She needs a .

I don't like diamonds. They're overrated and in my book, just plain ugly.

Heh. That's what I thought, too.

My dream engagement ring would have been an opal center stone with a smaller ruby (my birthstone) on one side and a peridot (his birthstone) on the other.

However, I have a diamond ring on my left ring finger. It was his mother's.

[Bella_Vixen]

My (and Becks' of course) mother wanted an emerald engagement/wedding ring. They went to Hussar's and the person there said "No, you don't want an emerald. It'll look like a glob of jelly."

Mom didn't get her emerald.


ETA: Mom didn't believe that for an instant. Her fiance did. (Not so) Many years later, Mom finally got her emerald ring. I don't remember if it was for Mother's Day, her birthday, or Christmas, but damn it, she got it.

[AnqeiicDemise]

I don't do much manual labor because our apartment building doesn't lend itself for gardening and my job is cushy. I've alwas known that I wanted an emerald for a ring since I read the limerick

"she who was born in the month of may, will be a loved and happy wife if she wears an emerald all her life."

It just suited my fancy and I think it looks gorgeous against my skin. (not very many people can get away with wearing green; I can.)

It ticked me off-- that conversation was the condenced version. I tried to not be an sc and kindly state that I didn't care, my lifestyle lends itself to a softer stone. She was being *really* pushy, snarky and rude.

I'm ashamed I got down to her level.


And... I don't care if it looks like a 'blob of jelly', its my emerald on my fleshy skin and I'd be happy.


someday, right?

[Becks]

If it comes down to it, just go looking at regular emerald rings and use it as an engagement ring.

[AnqeiicDemise]

Becky: its just what we've resigned ourselves to do. I'm sure we'll find the perfect ring at some point. In the meantime, I'm glad I actually got the band around my finger.

Its not the intent; its the done deal.

[hawkchick11]

I think my sister dealt with that woman when she was looking at engagement rings.. my sister wanted a sapphire (her birthstone) with diamonds around it and the lady kept going on about how engagement rings have just diamonds, she doesn't want that, blah blah blah. My sister and her fiancee walked to the jewelry store across from that one and purchased the ring they wanted, with the bitchy employee watching them the entire time.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

An engagment or wedding ring can be whatever you want it to be. If she thinks they have only diamonds, then maybe she ought to learn a bit about the product she's selling.

Some friends of mine wear puzzle rings for wedding rings. Why? They like puzzle rings.

It's not set in stone. Er, so to speak.

[Jewels]

I sell jewelry, and I can understand the soft stone warning. Emeralds are a softer stone and can chip or break. If they are oiled and put in an ultra sonic, you also run the risk of the oil coming off and being able to see the natural cracks in the stone. HOWEVER, there is nothing that states that you must have a diamond engagement ring. I have seen people come in and get sapphire, topaz, ruby, peridot and just plain gold bands as engagement rings. We just did a custom job for a woman who wanted a garnet and sterling silver engagement ring.

She was correct in warning you about the stone, but she crossed the line when telling you what you should get. I hope that she hasn't soured you against the idea of getting a ring. Just remember that there are jewelers out there who will listen to you and will help you get what you need and want. I should know, I work in a store full of them.

[Becks]

Becky: its just what we've resigned ourselves to do.

Why be resigned to it?