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Can you answer yes to any of the following questions? If so then congratulations you've reached the level of the couple at the front of the bus today
-Have you ever had to ask 'Have you pissed on me or have I pissed myself?'
-Have you ever been so desperate to stay with your partner that when they have been arrested,you have got yourself arrested too just to be with them?
-Have you ever had to lament the fact that the CCTV cameras on the bus mean that you are not willing to perform the sexual act right away?
-Have you ever when a partner has indicated their desire to perform the sexual act,have to ask 'With me?' *
-Have you ever had a long time sexual partner who you still are not able to identify by their real name?
-Have you ever had a sexual partner nicknamed 'The Black Man' contrary to his conspicuous white-skinned appearance?
-Have you ever had hearing problems so you must ask 'Did you say you wanted to kiss me or piss on me' or 'Did you say you wanted to sleep with me, slap me or stab me?'
-Have you ever consumed a £40 bottle of vodka in one sitting?
-Have you ever whilst attempting to leave a hickey on your partner's neck bitten her and unwittingly poured your bottle of drink on the dog's head?
-Have you ever on the bus' arrival at the hospital announced 'We're at that place,I can't remember the name,it's where the dead people are?'**
-Have you ever announced that 'everyone in my town knows I'm a f***ing nutcase?'
-Have you ever when reaching your stop and being told to get your coat, argued that you have got it,only to have it pointed out that that is in fact the dog?
*the rest of the passengers on the top deck are now like...
**I believe they will happily accept you if you are merely unwell
-Have you ever had to ask 'Have you pissed on me or have I pissed myself?'
-Have you ever been so desperate to stay with your partner that when they have been arrested,you have got yourself arrested too just to be with them?
-Have you ever had to lament the fact that the CCTV cameras on the bus mean that you are not willing to perform the sexual act right away?
-Have you ever when a partner has indicated their desire to perform the sexual act,have to ask 'With me?' *
-Have you ever had a long time sexual partner who you still are not able to identify by their real name?
-Have you ever had a sexual partner nicknamed 'The Black Man' contrary to his conspicuous white-skinned appearance?
-Have you ever had hearing problems so you must ask 'Did you say you wanted to kiss me or piss on me' or 'Did you say you wanted to sleep with me, slap me or stab me?'
-Have you ever consumed a £40 bottle of vodka in one sitting?
-Have you ever whilst attempting to leave a hickey on your partner's neck bitten her and unwittingly poured your bottle of drink on the dog's head?
-Have you ever on the bus' arrival at the hospital announced 'We're at that place,I can't remember the name,it's where the dead people are?'**
-Have you ever announced that 'everyone in my town knows I'm a f***ing nutcase?'
-Have you ever when reaching your stop and being told to get your coat, argued that you have got it,only to have it pointed out that that is in fact the dog?
*the rest of the passengers on the top deck are now like...
**I believe they will happily accept you if you are merely unwell
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