Attack of the Italian Model Wannabes (and other stuff)

[Dreamstalker]

IMW1: Hello, sir, can I ask you one question?

Me: You just did, looks like you wasted your chance. <attempting to sidestep around IMW>

IMW1: <heading off my escape attempt> There's no reason to be rude.

Clearly the irony was lost on him...

GAH. The mall near me has one of those kiosks (although the harassers are way-too-perfect-to-be-human girls...damn ingrained "don't hit female humans"). Who in their right mind would think that sales tactic would work? *wondering if the company renting the kiosk knows of these tactics...sadly, they probably condone it* Coronado Mall used to get the Dead Sea product sellers every year. That dude was the epitome of "hard sell" and it's a holiday miracle I didn't clock him the first time I was subjected to his spiel.

[Gerrinson]

Aw, I think you missed your chance to get me some lilac lotion.

Sorry, Becky, but even if I was interested in their sales pitch, I don't think my girlfriend would approve of me buying lotion for you.

[Boozy]

My local mall also has these "Way-Too-Excited-About-Lotion Guys" (as my husband refers to them ).

When they first put in the kiosk, I was unaware of the "game", as it were. So I politely stopped when they asked me to (yes, I am too naive for my own good). And they went through the whole demo with me. When they told me it was $100 for a few ounces of this stuff, I nearly choked.

As people in my area wise up to them, they are becoming more aggressive. Now my husband has to walk between me and the kiosk to get us past that section of the mall, or they will actually try to grab me.

[Becks]

Sorry, Becky, but even if I was interested in their sales pitch, I don't think my girlfriend would approve of me buying lotion for you.

I'm a long lost cousin. :looking hopeful:


Nah, I'll just have to poke around and tell myself that the money I'll spend on it is worth it.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

My family, beings the kings and queens of snarky comments, loves dealing with these people. My little sis is very quiet and sweet and has that 'mess with me' vibe, so she always walks between me and my mom. The guys will always try to stop us and ask us the question, just like in the OP, 'Can I ask you a question?' My Mother will look straight at them and go "no!" without even slowing down, and me and my sister will laugh loudly at the way she says it, without slowing down.

If we are accosted by an especially aggressive one, my brother the Marine will step in and snarl 'Get your hands off my sister!' and all us women will cringe and look at him in mock terror, as though he's a violent person and we're terrified of angering him. This will usually stop an aggressive salesperson in their tracks, and gives us enough time to beat it.

Sometimes, if they get really heavy handed, grabbing us or something (and bro is not there to 'terrify' us), we will let them do the demonstration and make snarky comments the entire time about all the uses we would have for the product. My sister works with horse breeders, and sometimes um, collects sperm for them, and she will go on and on about how useful this stuff would be for that, usually in excruciating detail. You should see their faces.

Oh man I love dealing with those people when I'm with my family.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I just can't get past the idea that these people GRAB you. Seriously. How have they not gotten sued, beaten, arrested, etc.?

No, really. If someone grabbed me or a member of my family, there would be a Big Ugly Scene, and very possibly blood on the floor from broken noses and whatnot. If a man in a mall grabbed me, my husband would turn him into paste. And I dont' even want to think about what my dad might do.

Hell, by myself it would be bad enough. Add testosterone and...woah.

[Chanlin]

For the record i love your family PhoneGoddess

[Record Store Tough Guy]

Yeah, I'd have to say being grabbed unannounced would probably, at the very least, get the grabber a bloody nose. I don't like being touched by people I don't know, and especially in a crowded mall at Christmas, I'm going to assume something untoward is about to happen or in the process of happening, either a scam, or outright theft. In fact, grabbing my left arm would result in:

Drop into Right foot forward bo stance, swing left arm down and across my body to break the hold, up into a reverse elbow strike at roughly nose level, followed by a backfist/back beak to the same area, then pivoting into a left side forward bo stance, following up with a palm strike to, you got it, roughly the same area.

I am an internet tough guy.



There would definitely be an ugly ending, for him physically and me legally, most likely. Yeah, it's assault, but beating someone into unconsciousness for grabbing your arm is a little bit of overkill.

[symposes]

My Karate instructor likes to give lectures, nothing bad, he enjoys talking about stuff relevant to the art.

After the talk we had a few weeks back, I would go out of my way to avoid hitting someone in the face. Even if i had to take a glancing blow on purpose.

Think about it. I walk away with a black eye, and IMW's face is clean and clear. He looks like the badguy, even if i did some damage to him.

Granted I will not just let someone hit me in the face.

But if you walk away untouched, in a defensive situation, and the other guy is a pile of goo, its going to make you look bad, even if you were in the right.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, I would hate to field the questions the next day...
"Wow Roy, what happened to your face?"
"I let a guy punch me in the face, so i could break his arm."
"Oh! Thats stupid!"
"Not when the judge sees my face, and then sees the other guys face."

[myswtghst]

I just can't get past the idea that these people GRAB you. Seriously. How have they not gotten sued, beaten, arrested, etc.?

The main reason it gets me is that with the way things are in the world nowadays, with so many people who are either A) Paranoid and/or B)Trained in self defense, why on earth would you want to grab someone you do not know, with no idea of what their response might be? I've mentioned it in other threads that I don't take kindly to being touched by strangers, and if it is unexpected, I've been known to take a swing/step back onto your feet/"accidentally" elbow someone in the stomach, etc.

Plus, no matter who gets in trouble, whether it's right or wrong, etc, you never know when the person you grab is a crazy person with a gun (or other concealed weapon) and no reason, at least in their own mind, not to go batshit crazy on your behind.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

My point exactly.

[blas]

Oh I feel for you!

The kiosk workers are really adament around here. It's to the point where I will actually power walk or almost run past them. It's no lie, they DO grab. In my Saturday Suck thread, as I was trying to shift past them, one of them grabbed a lady behind me's arm and she practically shrieked.

[MystyGlyttyr]

I have to say, I would have bought a ticket and popcorn to watch what would happen should someone try that on Mysty.

It's happened...

[Record Store Tough Guy]

@symposes:

Ah, now this is where we get into the interesting discussion. Most of the legal repercussions depend greatly on jurisdiction and local laws. In the county where my school is located breaking an arm for a grab or punch in the face makes the breaker the aggressor, regardless of who started it (which is, I believe, the point you are making with your example ^_^). Bloodying a nose is considered equal and appropriate force.

I have a whole range of targets along the centerline that I can choose from, though, and the solar plexus is also a lovely one to go for. I would probably go for a combination nose, solar plexus, and jaw/chin if I had my druthers.

On the whole, though, if someone grabs me from behind with enough force to try and stop me, I don't have a long time to decide if he's only going to ask me a question or if he's going to try something more sinister. I have to make a decision and make it fast, and it had better be right. In such a case, I'd rather take my chances in front of the judge than to guess wrong and have it be some lunatic out to cleanse the world of aliens and get a knife in the ribs.

I'm not alone in thinking this. From John Locke's Second Treatise of Government, sections 17 and 18:

And hence it is, that he who attempts to get another man into his absolute power, does thereby put himself into a state of war with him; it being to be understood as a declaration of a design upon his life: for I have reason to conclude, that he who would get me into his power without my consent, would use me as he pleased when he had got me there, and destroy me too when he had a fancy to it...

This makes it lawful for a man to kill a thief, who has not in the least hurt him, nor declared any design upon his life, any farther than, by the use of force, so to get him in his power, as to take away his money, or what he pleases, from him; ... I have no reason to suppose, that he, who would take away my liberty, would not, when he had me in his power, take away every thing else. And therefore it is lawful for me to treat him as one who has put himself into a state of war with me, i.e. kill him if I can; for to that hazard does he justly expose himself, whoever introduces a state of war, and is aggressor in it.

Obviously I am not arguing that killing in self defense is justified here, but Locke underscores the point that I do not know what my assailant's intentions are and I must take action quickly and decisively before the situation ends badly for me.

The nose is pretty resilient anyway, and most people survive a broken one pretty easily.

[Metody]

Ugh. If anyone touches me, I'm going to stare at them until I've memorized their nametag, and than I'm going to mall security.

And then I'm going to quietly raise hell. You do not touch strangers.