I met one on the bus

[ArcticChicken]

I was on a bus, heading to I-Can't-Remember-Where when I got up to change seats, because one had opened up where I wouldn't have to sit with anybody. I sat down behind some woman and the following conversation ensued:

Woman: YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE!!!
Me: Wha..?!
W: YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW!!!!
Me:
W: WHEN YOU HIT SOMEONE YOU HAVE TO APOLOGIZE!!!!!!
Me: still baffled
W: YOU HIT ME WITH YOUR JACKET AND YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE
RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!!!!!!!!

Y'Know, if she'd been polite about it she just might have gotten that apology.

[HowMayIHelpMe?]

Can you give a description of this "lady"? I need a visual on this one, I think....

[edible_hat]

I'm visualising an 80-something purple-wearing blue-haired bozo with Dame Edna glasses. Mostly because one of them once hit my brother in law with an umbrella and yelled "Respect your elders!" for no apparent reason.

[Crazeyal]

I'm betting overweight, bad teeth and a highly suspect genetic line.

[bainsidhe]

It's sad, but I imagined just a regular-looking woman, makeup and hair done up to go to work or shopping or whatnot. The type you would NEVER expect and sit/shop/work next to any given day. Which is why I would be completely hit unawares.

They work silently, quietly stalking their prey until....BAM.

[blas]

Don't forget the shaved off eyebrows, replaced and drawn in with blue eyebrow pencil to match the blue hair!

[justZu]

W: YOU HIT ME WITH YOUR JACKET AND YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE
RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe it would be perfect to respond like this:

I'm so sorry...that you're a bitch.

or how about:

I feel so sorry...for your husband.

It would probably take a minute for your reply to sink into her thick head. Hey! That wasn't a real apology!

[ArcticChicken]

I believe it would be perfect to respond like this:

I'm so sorry...that you're a bitch.

or how about:

I feel so sorry...for your husband.

It would probably take a minute for your reply to sink into her thick head. Hey! That wasn't a real apology!

I would have, but my brain doesn't work like that. It's usually about thirty seconds after I need to reply that my brain goes from "My god, what a bitch" to "And here's a good comeback" I've only ever come up with something to say soon enough once, and it wasn't very good. I've been handed some pretty fantastic straight lines too.

[HawaiianShirts]

Don't forget the shaved off eyebrows, replaced and drawn in with blue eyebrow pencil to match the blue hair!

(OFF TOPIC - sorry)
When I worked at the call center, I had a co-worker like that. She wore as many colors as possible every day and often did not coordinate them. She had a bleached blond fe-mullet hairstyle. And she shaved off her eyebrows and drew them back on with, I swear, a super-gigantic-tip Sharpie. And they were always drawn on about half an inch too high onto her forehead so she looked like she was in a constant state of surprise. I used to whistle circus music every time she walked by.

(Back ON TOPIC)
Never had anybody yell at me to apologize. Did witness something odd in a church once. One guy suggested that wearing black socks and sandals with a suit was not the best fashion choice. The other guy (with the sandals) was offended, but instead of politely saying so or just turning and leaving, he pointed at the offender and shouted: "Repent! On you knees now!" (This had actually been a joke at one point - if someone did something the church frowned upon, like swearing, or just something stupid, someone else could say, essentially, "Ha ha, you swore, now you have to repent," but this guy was most definitely not joking.) The fashion-tip offerer blinked a time or two and just left. I was too busy stifling my laughter to notice what happened next.