Victor and the Tree

[DexX]

Okay kiddies, settle down while Uncle DexX tells you the heartwarming true story of Victor and the Tree.

I was neither customer nor service provider in this story, but merely an innocent bystander, a witness to Victor's sucky custom.

Victor was my landlord for four and a half excruciating years. My wife and I have many stories about Victor, for he was an extraordinary tightarse. Ever heard the old adage that sometimes you need to spend money to save money? Victor did not subscribe to such idiotic notions, and believed the only way to save money was to never spend any, or spend as little as possible when forced into it.

Right, there's the background, now for the story...

Most Australians have a bit of a love/hate relationship with gum trees (aka eucalypts). They are beautiful trees, grow quickly and tall, and are part of our national identity. They also tend to drop bark and branches fairly regularly, and some species will grow in a fork down low in the trunk while young, then years later when they are massive trees they split down the fork, destroying property and people.

We had just such a gum tree in our back yard. It was a beautiful tree, somewhere in the viciinity of 25m (85ft) high, and I loved it. One day my wife was in the back yard when the neighbour said hello over the fence. Had we noticed our magnificent tree was splitting down the middle, he asked. No, we hadn't. Damn. Off we went to phone the landlord. He popped around quite quickly and had a look, and he agreed that the tree had to come down before it killed someone. That was on Tuesday.

He spent the rest of the week, I assume, trying to find the cheapest quote possible, trying to haggle everyone down, and making a general pain of himself. Finally, on Friday evening, an extremely professional and friendly tree-feller turned up to have a look. The expression on his face said everything - he said it was far too late in the day to make a start, but he would go to the car to fetch a metal band to put around the trunk and perhaps hold it together until tomorrow, when he would be back to cut it down.

We had a windy night. Around 2am I heard a bizarre crackling his as the trunk separated, followed by a series of extremely loud thumps that shook the house. The tree had split in half, and half of it had fallen.

The damage was not as bad as it could have been - two fences, our clothesline, a crappy old shed, and our very nice daisy bush, not to mention some deep gouges in the lawn - considering the tree was easily tall enough to have hit any of five different houses, including ours. Of course, if Victor hadn't stuffed around for three days it wouldn't have fallen down at all, but I digress...

Bright and early the next morning, the tree-fellers turned up and got to work. They had several guys cutting up the fallen trunk and carting it away, and one guy up on ropes chopping up the still-standing section and lowering the pieces down - crazily dangerous work. Eventually Victor showed up, and the following conversation occurred right outside by back door as I popped out to give cups of tea to the work crew:

Victor: So, you'll be charging half the quote, then.
Tree-feller: I... what???
V: Half the tree fell down. Your job is half done. I should get the work half price.
T: No, it doesn't work that way.
V: Look! Half of it is already on the ground! You have to give me a discount at least.
T: No, no discount. The price quoted is the price I'll be charging.
V: But it's half done!
T: No, it isn't half done. We have half a tree on the ground here, amidst the wreckage of all the stuff it fell on, that we have to cut up and remove. I now have a very unstable half a tree with one of my guys up in it chopping it down piece by piece. We can't get insurance for this work - nobody will cover us. Any injuries come out of my pocket. The quoted price stands and I will not negotiate.
V: But... but...

He continued arguing, and I had to run inside to avoid laughing right in his face. He was my landlord after all, and had shown many times he was unscrupulous, so laughing at him would have no doubt resulted in eviction.

We have many Victor stories. If anyone is interested I'll relate the saga of the rental bond when he did eventually evict us for demanding too many repairs to his crappy house...

[Broomjockey]

I'd not mind hearing more stories of Victor. Seems a silly sort to not realize that infact half the work wasn't done, as they still had work to do on the fallen part. Cutting it up and carting it away still takes time. Heck, he's lucky the guy didn't charge more. There's *two* seperate things now to cut up, after all. Twice the cuts, twice the price and all

[powerboy]

My last boss(owner of the shop) was like that. He wanted everything to be basically done for free. He wanted our products to be sent for free or he would sue. Did I mention that he was sue happy. He wanted to sue the internet, because someone had mentioned something about our store. We were a crappy store, what the hell do you expect.

[Becks]

What a cheapass.

I, also, am interested in more Victor stories.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Wow! I want to know more about these trees!

[Sliceanddice]

wow i thought trees like that (not that kind just with that kind of history) where suppose to be monitored at grtowth so that doesnt happen (forced to grow a certain way, some times even forced to grow around itself [think a spiral] to prevent injury or damage) but i can see why, there use to be a beautiful old tree here that grew... sideways, i always understood why the never tried to support so it wouldnt falle, cut it, or not build a building right in its path of death. It fell alright went in to a window, the whole roots went up a foot and half almost exposes (after a rain storm) next week no more tree, three weeks later no more stump, two weeks after that the sad bump of tree giving earth is cover be sod.

[Shabo]

Trees that split down the middle around here do so because the tops were nibbled on when the trees were growing. It happens all the time where there are squirrels and deer. I'm not sure about the Eucalyptus trees, but I would imagine that they split for the same reason.

[blas]

The sheer cheapness of some people.....and no matter what, they NEVER learn or something really awful has to happen for them to have a change of heart and a will to open that wallet.

Sounds like my old property management company. The people who rented beforfe ex roomate and myself had to have trashed the place, there were (very pathetically attempted covered up) holes the size of my head on my bedroom wall. Yes, a wee bit to cover it up....just a wee bit...don't wanna spend an extra few bucks on the whole wall....no one will ever notice.....and THEN when these tenants move out, we will make it seem that THEY put the holes in the wall and that they weren't that bad during check-in and we'll chare THEM the money for it, since we couldn't get it from the last tenants who were on government aid and packed up and took off one day.

Sorry for the rant. I hate cheap people.

[ArcticChicken]

I should like to add my voice to those asking for more tales of Victor the Tightass.

[Pagan]

Count me as another vote for more "Victor" stories!

He wanted to sue the internet, because someone had mentioned something about our store.

Wouldn't he need to sue Al Gore, since he "invented" the internet?

[protege]

Ugh. And I thought my previous landlord (aka *parents*) were bad about being cheap.

For example, when I still lived at home, it was always colder in my bedroom during the winter. Maybe because there's no cold air return in there, maybe because my parents were just cheap, I don't know. Anyway, there was a noticeable temperature difference between my room and the rest of the house. Yet, no matter what I did, nothing was ever done. That is, until I was away one weekend and my father was sick. Turns out my *mother* slept in there...and then said I was right! Needless to say, I got some serious blankets that Christmas, and they actually turn the heat up further

Then there's was the constant water leak in the upstairs bathroom. For some reason, the shower would always leak--the tiniest drop of water would find its way out...resulting in much water spilling out of the kitchen ceiling below. Turns out the tub enclosure wasn't sealed properly. But, get this...rather than rip out the sealer, and redo it properly, it was apparently easier to put tarps on the enclosure walls, and hold them in place with duct tape! And yes, it did look as crude as it sounds! Eventually, our guests quit coming over, and I can't blame them...and again, all of that crap, and the assorted "repairs" were torn out as well.

You thought that was it? Not even close But seriously, one long-neglected thing involves the furnace. Most people get their furnaces checked before winter comes. That way, if there are repairs, they can be done when it's easier to get a repairman. But, they couldn't see spending the cash on it...and ended up with predictable results. Yep, the furnace blew up one winter...which happened to be one of the coldest ever Not only did the furnace electrical box destroy itself, but part of the fusebox (*another* cheapass repair!) as well!

I for one, can't understand why people try to cheap out on things. I've always tried to maintain my things the best I can. I've always looked at it this way--yes, regular maintenance is expensive. But, would I rather spend $50 to repair something properly, or possibly *$500* later when it fails?

[BookstoreEscapee]

We had a magnolia tree in front of our house. It actually did have a split trunk, but that wasn't the problem. There was a hole near the bottom that was slowly working its way horizontally through the trunk. My dad was monitoring it with a stick to see how deep it was getting, and finally decided it needed to come down. Especially after we had an ice storm and the side the hole was on was sagging ominously toward the house (if it were to fall it would have damaged the roof over the front porch).

I love magnolias...it was sad to watch it come down (it did smell good when they cut it up, though ). They had another tree on the other side of the driveway taken out at the same time, I'm not sure what was wrong with that one, but if it were to fall it would take out the power lines. Where the magnolia was is now a small Japanese maple grown from a cutting from the larger Japanese maple in the front corner of the yard. The other tree is now a small, round flowerbed.

[Seshat]

Wow! I want to know more about these trees!

Trees that split down the middle around here do so because the tops were nibbled on when the trees were growing. It happens all the time where there are squirrels and deer. I'm not sure about the Eucalyptus trees, but I would imagine that they split for the same reason.

We don't have squirrels or deer here, but we do have herbivores. It's possible that's the reason. It's also possible it's just that we have weird trees.

Eucalypts are kind of suicidal in some ways: they emit a gas that's actually quite easy to burn: it's one of the reasons our bushfires are famously dangerous. They also have a toxin in their leaves that reduces the underbrush - it's hard to grow stuff directly under some eucalypts. (The level of toxin varies by subspecies.)

One of my favourite eucalypts is the 'ghost gum'. It's a silvery-grey bark colour, and the growth pattern of its branches looks vaguely like a bent human arm. In bad light (dawn, dusk, fog), a bunch of ghost gums in the distance looks like silvery-grey people.

Eucalypts also tend to shed branches, as the OP mentioned. Sometimes those branches are forked, and get stuck partway down the tree. Those are nicknamed 'widowmakers', for their tendency to complete their fall when least expected . . .

Oh, and then there's the dropbears.

[Catwoman2965]

Victor reminds me of my former landlord "Fred" - Fred was as cheap as they come. He owned the house my apt was in, which had 3 other apts, but the words "preventative maintenance" and so on were foreign to him! I could tell stories about Fred and his tightwad ways all day long, but I'll try and keep it to the better ones! Fred was somewhat handy, but HATED to spend any money at all, so he would try and fix stuff, even if you wasn't capable of doing so, just to save a buck.

One December, my heat goes out. So I call Fred, and he tells me to call the gas co. So I do, but even though the account is in my name, HE is the owner of the house, and therefore he is the only one who can arrange for service. Ok fine, he calls, and they show up later that day. I was on the third floor, which had been converted into an apt, and the attic is where the furnace, etc were. So the gas co guy goes up, and says its this part, and it will be $500 to fix, labor and parts.

Now I know NOTHING about any of that, so I say ok, go ahead, knowing that Fred will have to pay, and I need heat as it was about 20 degrees out. He does, and when Fred finds out the cost, he hits the roof. "did he save the old parts?" Umn no, he didn't...and then starts asking all these questions. Um Fred, if you were so upset about it, then perhaps you should have been here while the guy was actually FIXING my heat, so YOU could discuss it with him.

Another memorable time we had a wasp's nest under the siding, and due to the fact the house was old, they got into my kitchen. Fred goes up and drills a hole in the siding, and then takes a bug bomb, sticks it in, and lets it rip. Bad idea....all that did was scatter the wasps into the wall voids, which meant they were there for several more weeks.

He REFUSED to call an exterminator, and it got so bad, me and another tenant were about to do it, and pay for it ourselves...and the exterminator said, oh no, what he did is not right, we would have used a powder that they touch, and take back to the nest, and then they all die. The bomb just scatters them and ensures it will take twice as long for them to go away!!!! So I basically could not use my kitchen at all for about a month due to the wasps. And Fred would say, well, i sat there for 30 mins and saw no bees. Um that's because it was DAYTIME, and they come back at NIGHT!

The final straw came after I moved out. I moved mainly because of the bee incident, and the fact he was so darn cheap and annoying. I moved mid-month, but paid a full months rent, since he all but had a hissy fit that I would even think of moving out mid month (no lease, only had to give 60 days notice, which I did).
This also gave me time to transition from one place to another without having to rush and get it all done in a day.

I told him REPEATEDLY over and over, i am moving on this day, and will be COMPLETELY out by this date - giving me time to get all my stuff moved, and the apt cleaned. It still left him a good 10 days to paint, etc. before the first of the next month, and the new tenant. Stupid me actually thought he would stick to that.

Well, i moved on a Sat, and fri night Fred calls me saying that he will be showing the apt again, the initial new tenant fell through, and he would be there tomorrow at 12. I said fine, but the movers will still be there, and he got pissy with me! Um, jerk, i am moving and paying the movers, so I am doing YOU a favor by letting you show it then. So I move, and the next week, during lunch, i got to get some more stuff, and what do I find?

Fred has already begun painting, etc the apartment!!!!!! I still had stuff there, and had not cleaned, as i was going to do that the following weekend, as I had told him 900 times. I asked him why he was in there, did he not see my stuff, etc. - which he had put in the middle of the floor, including my Grandmother's china!!!! which i was going to move myself.

His response? "Oh, i thought you were out?" Not only that, but had MY stepladder, etc. and was using them! I got as much out as I could in the next couple days, and then went back to clean, which i couldn't even do properly, as he had his crap everywhere.

I couldn't say or do much as a. he is VERY stubborn and hears only what HE wants to hear, and b. i was afraid he might hold my security depositi which i desperately needed back.

One of my friends still lives there, and the Fred stories live on. I also got a Christmas card from another woman still there, and at the end she said "Fred is still the same"

Now I live in a complex, with awesome management, so no more Fred!

[Gurndigarn]

I for one, can't understand why people try to cheap out on things. I've always tried to maintain my things the best I can. I've always looked at it this way--yes, regular maintenance is expensive. But, would I rather spend $50 to repair something properly, or possibly *$500* later when it fails?

Because that's $50 they want to spend now. What got me is the people who won't spend the time to even pretend they're doing it correctly. I got my house about 15% lower than listing price, in large part, because the prior owners were told by their real estate agent to paint everything white. I think he assumed they would know what drop cloths were and how (and why) to use them. Nope. All the carpets had white edges, white droplets, and white lines (from where the doors were).

I love magnolias...it was sad to watch it come down

I was sad to see a couple maples come down. Unfortunately, it was that or watch their roots get into the storm drains, and I live in former wetlands.