This was in Wal-Mart last night. I was amused. The Nice Lady (NL) was amused. The two CatButtFace Ladies (CBFL 1 and 2) were not.
To sum up...
Me: Apparently teenage bitch on wheels
NL: Nice lady, about 60
CBFL 1: Crotchedy fart #1, about 60
CBFL 2: Crotchedy fart #2, wishes she were still 60
I'm trying to buy some cat food, and I get to the aisle, and there's three carts blocking up the entrance: CBFL 1 and 2, who are lodged on one side with carts containing two boxes of tissue in one and a single can of cat food in the other, and deep in Wysteria Lane-styles of conversation—and NL, who is trying to buy Lysol in peace with a cart filled to the brim with what must be two weeks of groceries. Seeing as how these are older ladies, I play the polite card first and say "Excuse me."
All three ladies look up at me, and CBFL 1 and 2 look at me in the same way I look at the first hairball of the day when I find it with my socked foot. They then immediately turn their back and start making the appropriate offended noises about how much young people suck.
NL has looked at them to see if they will move, since she's the only one in the blockage actually trying to shop. Upon seeing their reaction, she looks at me, rolls her eyes with the requisite head-nod in their direction to communicate her psychic agreement with me on their mental status, and pulls her full cart ten feet backwards to get around the CBFL ladies and out of my way.
I make my way past the cluckers to NL's side, look back at them, then at her, and, rather loudly, because I think the CBFLs might like to hear it, say:
"Thank you so much, miss. It's so nice to see some members of your generation were raised with manners!"
NL immediately gets the joke and bursts into hysterical laughter. CBFL 1 and 2 stand there for a moment before the appropriately shocked and appalled looks on their faces appear, and they harumph and head off, complaining bitterly about the nerve of some people.
NL and I spent a couple minutes laughing, then went on about our days.
To sum up...
Me: Apparently teenage bitch on wheels
NL: Nice lady, about 60
CBFL 1: Crotchedy fart #1, about 60
CBFL 2: Crotchedy fart #2, wishes she were still 60
I'm trying to buy some cat food, and I get to the aisle, and there's three carts blocking up the entrance: CBFL 1 and 2, who are lodged on one side with carts containing two boxes of tissue in one and a single can of cat food in the other, and deep in Wysteria Lane-styles of conversation—and NL, who is trying to buy Lysol in peace with a cart filled to the brim with what must be two weeks of groceries. Seeing as how these are older ladies, I play the polite card first and say "Excuse me."
All three ladies look up at me, and CBFL 1 and 2 look at me in the same way I look at the first hairball of the day when I find it with my socked foot. They then immediately turn their back and start making the appropriate offended noises about how much young people suck.
NL has looked at them to see if they will move, since she's the only one in the blockage actually trying to shop. Upon seeing their reaction, she looks at me, rolls her eyes with the requisite head-nod in their direction to communicate her psychic agreement with me on their mental status, and pulls her full cart ten feet backwards to get around the CBFL ladies and out of my way.
I make my way past the cluckers to NL's side, look back at them, then at her, and, rather loudly, because I think the CBFLs might like to hear it, say:
"Thank you so much, miss. It's so nice to see some members of your generation were raised with manners!"
NL immediately gets the joke and bursts into hysterical laughter. CBFL 1 and 2 stand there for a moment before the appropriately shocked and appalled looks on their faces appear, and they harumph and head off, complaining bitterly about the nerve of some people.
NL and I spent a couple minutes laughing, then went on about our days.


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