Where did you go?

[Nakajo]

Usually I'm pretty understanding in these situations, having worked in a restaurant for a long time, but she wasn't even trying, it seemed.

My boyfriend and I headed to one of our usual haunts, The G.T. We're pretty well known there, as the "young cute couple that tips great" (which I overheard our usual waitress tell the hostess one day ) Anyway, the place is pretty dead (being 3pm on a Monday), and we're seated immediately. Our usual waitress wasn't working, so the hostess sent someone we've never been served by before.

Basically, in the time we are there, for almost an hour, I see our waitress a grand total of 3 times:

1: took our drink and food order.
2: delivered our food.
3: delivered our check.

Not once did we get a single refill on drinks, even after asking. By the time she left and I realized I never got my fries, I guess it was too late, because the next time I saw her, she had our check. Not once did we see anyone else we could have flagged down. She was the only person serving, and we were the only people in there.

On my way to the bathroom, I found out what she had been doing the whole time: she was sitting and talking in the waiting room with her friends... and as soon as shut the door behind me, I hear her say, "God, I hate waiting on young people."

*DING DING DING* I remember this stereotype! We're young, therefore we tip bad and aren't worth your time! Well, guess what, young lady who's still in HIGH SCHOOL and talking to you cliquey friends on company time, guess who's going to reinforce that stereotype just because of your suckiness?

I admit I feel a little sucky, because I did only leave $5 on a $28. Normally, I tip around $10 on that amount, because I know it can be hard work serving food. But honestly, I feel I paid her more than what she earned.

[cactus]

I'm no math genius, but isn't that like almost 17% ?
If I'm correct, then you were way too nice with her, and she really did not deserve the usual amount that you tip. (But I'm norwegian, so what do I know about tipping?

[NotSoInnocent]

You left an almost 18% tip.... I'd have left a dollar. Maybe 50 cents.

This from a former waitress.

She sucked. Badly.

You weren't sucky at all.

[Stormraven]

50 cents sounds about right from me, too. And I'd have said something to the hostess, too.

[Becks]

The only suckage to be seen was from the waitress.

[Saydrah]

You didn't do anything WRONG, but you also didn't do anything helpful. There's a great comic that I saw once where the young black man sits down at a restaurant and the waiter walks up thinking, "African americans don't tip well, so I won't bother giving him good service," and in the next panel the patron is thinking, "This guy never gives me good service, so I won't bother to tip well."

You DID tip well- but you hit the nail on your head in your own post- reinforcing stereotypes doesn't make them go away.

You did nothing wrong and you gave her more than she deserved, but if I overheard that from a waitress, I would have asked the manager if I could speak with her for a moment, and politely said, "Miss, I overheard you saying you don't like waiting on young people. I presume this is because of the misconception that young people never tip well. I wanted you to know that we heard that statement, and that we still tipped you 18%- but that we usually tip over 30%, which you can verify by talking to any of the other waitresses who have served us here. Next time we come in, I hope you will have reconsidered the idea of giving bad service to young people."

[wagegoth]

I would have left her $2 and a note, since she didn't come back to the table, or asked the hostess for a manager and explained the situation. If I had spoken to the manager, I would have told him to talk to your regular waitress.

[d962831]

where's the option for you tipping to much? Because it sounds to me like you tipped way to much for that kind of service.

[PepperElf]

i voted for "the waitress was a little sucky"
cos i don't think she deserved that much for the tip.

personally i do 15% for sucky service. though i have friends who feel if it's sucky even that is an overtip.

i would say... she should be glad she got over 15% and then, you should let the place know exactly how she treated you.

[d962831]

yeah, 15% is the average tip, so unless you're making big bucks most people don't go much more than 20%.
for the kind of service she gave, and the comment I would've done around 7%

[MMATM]

I went for "waitress was a little sucky" only because I wouldn't have tipped anything above 10%. And I would've spoken to the hostess about the waitress ignoring my table and sitting in the bathroom on her cell phone on company time, in case she was wondering whether I was just complaining for the sake of complaining.

Nobody in high school has the right to complain about "young people" being so bad to serve. Firstly because many high schoolers don't tip at all, unless you count the leftover $0.64 from their $27.36 check. But mainly because most of those who believe that their own category of people (young, old, black, white, rich, poor, whatever) are bad tippers are basing their judgment mainly on the fact that they themselves are bad tippers. 99% of the rest are basing it on having worked as servers.

That last 1% of the minority are the well-mannered types which should have their own conservation society.

[/rant]

[myswtghst]

Count me as having chosen "No, the waitress was a little sucky." because there wasn't an option that fit better. You were not sucky at all, except in the sense that she will not learn her lesson from this experience, and actually made out MUCH better than she should have. If it'd been me, even if it would make me sucky, she would have gotten $3 MAX.

I agree with other posters, your best bet would have been either to say something to her, or to let the hostess/management know what was going on - I'd bet they'd be grateful to know what she's up to on company time.

Even if theres a chance that her mind wouldn't have been changed, you'll never know, because you didn't really do anything to change it - although you didn't completely reinforce the stereotype, since you (IMO) overtipped her in spite of her behaviour. When I worked in a profession that involved tips, I always treated everyone equally well, because you never knew who was going to tip - I learned quite quickly that often the people who looked like they'd tip big rarely did tip at all, and the people you'd never expect it from tipped way too much. Go figure.

[Lace Neil Singer]

(Disclaimer: I am from the UK!)

I personally would have given her nothing. Plus, I would have left her a note telling her exactly why she got nothing, and also happened to mention the fact that I gave my usual waitress a huge tip. I then would have talked to the manager and asked him to take her aside and give her a quiet word. Her behaviour would have been understandable only if the place was slammed; since there wasn't anyone there but you, she was sucky.

[PepperElf]

ironic really

she assumed you would be bad, therefore she felt justified in being bad first.
in a way... leaving no tip would then reinforce her prejudice.

so, leaving just 15% also shows that you can act better than she can.
but i still believe her bosses should know how she's acting.

[Nakajo]

ironic really

she assumed you would be bad, therefore she felt justified in being bad first.
in a way... leaving no tip would then reinforce her prejudice.

so, leaving just 15% also shows that you can act better than she can.
but i still believe her bosses should know how she's acting.

I considered leaving much less than $5, like most here said I should had done, but this is exactly why I didn't. I am a college student, older than the waitress at least, but leaving a little amount would had just proved her theory right.

Also, I have a self-made rule: I never ask for a sup from the person I am having trouble with. Reason being, that person usually sticks around to hear what you have to say, and I much rather say it to the sup in private. As there wasn't anyone else around, and I just wanted out of there, the whole situation wasn't even worth my time at that point.