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  • #1

    Zombie children at Wal-Mart

    Maybe I should be thankful of this. I mean, most of us on this site have zero tolerance for screaming, obnoxious children that run around like monkeys at the zoo. But I'm not sure if I should be thankful or worried.

    Something is wrong with the local children.

    I went to Wal-Mart. It was busy...yet QUIET. I did not hear one screaming baby, I did not see one child running amock......but yet every aisle I went down, every department I visited....there was a kid.

    It was as if the world supply of Mt. Dew and Amp had run out. Little kids were dragging their feet and staring at the floor. I wasn't paying attention and nearly ran into a little girl, and she didn't even notice. Her eyes were glazed over, she was trudging nearly 10 feet behind her parents.

    Nearly every baby or young toddler was asleep or drooling incessently, not focused on anything.......

    What has happened? Yes, silence is golden......but what is going on here?!
    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Something in the water.
    Now a member of that alien race called Management.

    Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

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    • #3
      Solanium, is a very communicable virus. I suggest you get the hell out of there, and pick up a copy of Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide.



      Just kidding. I guess they were all tired.
      Your neck is 7 and a half feet wide and 4 and a half feet tall. Your shoulders are also around 4 and a half feet wide. Your butt is 4 feet wide and your arms are around 3 feet long-gravekeeper

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      • #4
        Wally world finally succeeded in sucking out their souls?

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        • #5
          Damn, Blas. If I had known that there's a little town in Wisconsin where all the kids were quiet, I would have moved my two little monsters there when they were little.

          'Course, they are 20 and 17 now, so it's too late. You should alert the media to this phenomenon!
          Last edited by Peppergirl; 01-27-2008, 03:20 PM. Reason: spelling
          "So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

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          • #6
            Quoth Gerrinson View Post
            Wally world finally succeeded in sucking out their souls?
            Maybe it's being forced to live with their parents?
            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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            • #7
              Quoth Bagboy View Post
              Solanium, is a very communicable virus. I suggest you get the hell out of there, and pick up a copy of Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide.



              Just kidding. I guess they were all tired.
              Actually, it's Solanum that mutates the living. Solanium is a delightful beverage made from grape juice and lemon zest.
              "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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              • #8
                Maybe a disney channel star died... but that doesn't explain the babies being quiet
                "Reverse racism" lol

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                • #9
                  Don't look at me, I haven't been out of the state lately.

                  It does sound odd, though. What time of day was it? Maybe they were all out of school sick?
                  "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

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                  • #10
                    Makes me think of the Staples back-to-school commercial with the dad all happy while the kids trudge behind him, and it plays "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"
                    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                    • #11
                      It's the death of Heath Ledger. I felt that way too.
                      It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.
                      -Helen Keller

                      I got this av from Court Records, made by Croik!

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                      • #12
                        I think it's the water mixed with the nonstop snow we keep getting.

                        Heck, even when I was a kid, the snow got really old after a while. This winter, we've gotten more snow in just December and January than we got all last winter.
                        You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                        • #13
                          Dunno why all the kids at Wally World would be that quiet, but works for me!!!
                          I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                          Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                          Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                          • #14
                            Benadryl.

                            Comedy Central just reran the Christopher Titus special where he mentions what a wonderful help Benadryl is for watching the kids. The parents must have all tuned in.
                            Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                            HR believes the first person in the door
                            Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                            Document everything
                            CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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                            • #15
                              Quoth blas87 View Post
                              What has happened? Yes, silence is golden......but what is going on here?!
                              I have no idea what would cause it, but if you could figure it out and bottle it, you'd be a multi-millionaire overnight!

                              B
                              "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
                              I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

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