Hilarious, RK.
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"GlaxoSmithKline would like to remind you that our Supercillin kills gonorrhea faster than any other antibiotic on the market today."PS I’m thinking about suggesting an idea I’ve been kicking around for putting motion-activated adware into condoms in our next marketing meeting. What do you think?
"Ladies, feeling not so fresh after lovemaking? Summer's Eve is proud to introduce AfterGlo, the feminine cleaning solution designed specifically for after you've spent time with that special someone."Leave a comment:
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My advertising pet peeve right now is the razor blades in the grocery store. When I go to get a refill for my razor, opening the case makes it TALK at me, in a pleasant female voice, going on and on about what a variety of razor blades they have available. Yes, I can see that, thanks!
The first time it did that, I shrieked, "SHUT UP!" at the case, startled.
An employee walking by laughed so hard I thought he might pee his pants and said, "Amen, sister! Try stocking that case!"Leave a comment:
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Letter to Bi Lo
Dear Sir or Madam,
I want to commend you on your innovative and far-reaching ideas on advertising. I work in marketing myself, and I have to say, it never occurred to me to utilize some of the advertising opportunities your company has thought to use.
As someone who works in the advertising field myself, I have often noticed that there are a few untapped venues for getting my company’s message out there. I know that personally, until the visit I made to one of your fine stores tonight, there were a few quite moments of my own life that were devoid of any sort of advertising, which was a shame. Your company really took this concept and ran with it, much to my delighted surprise.
I entered your store at (xxxxx ) area needing some garbage bags. I took a detour on my way in, and went into the restroom. I entered a stall, dropped my pants, and took a seat. Lo and behold, a motion sensor was tripped and as I sat there, an ad for Angus beef steaks began playing at about 85 decibels.
Pure genius. There I am, trapped with my pants down around my ankles, listening to a cheerful, tinny, painfully loud voice going on and on and on about the merits of your delicious beef products. Certainly added an unforgettable spin to upset stomach I happened to be suffering tonight. I guess most people would consider an ad for Imodium or Pepto Bismol more appropriate (that would have been useful information to someone, I am certain. I know it would have been for me), but not your company. Most would have tried to associate their beef products in a context of enjoyment and gastronomical pleasure. Heck, I daresay most people would have just simply let their customers take a quiet dump in peace, but that’s clearly far too vanilla for your forward and out-of-the-box advertising guys. No, you guys are going for abstract, edgy advertising, and I have to say peddling beef to someone trying to take a shit is about as edgy as one can get. Props to you, gentlemen. Well played.
I know that I will think of your fine, quality beef products whenever I find myself reflecting quietly in that most private of sanctuaries from now on, whether suffering a raging bout of the green-apple splatters or simply trying to pinch off a good dry log.
(RecoveringKinkoid)
PS I’m thinking about suggesting an idea I’ve been kicking around for putting motion-activated adware into condoms in our next marketing meeting. What do you think?
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