the scs on the bus proving my grandma's saying

[Dreamstalker]

Going to work one day, the T was crowded as usual. I was squished in the seat right at the front doors; I saw an older woman with a cane waiting on the platform and when the passenger next to me left the train, I put my bags on the seat next to me and slid over when the lady with the cane boarded (to let her have the one right at the door). She seemed genuinely surprised/appreciative that I had done so.

Oh, the glares I got from a wigger-type who boarded at the center doors and just couldn't get to that seat fast enough...he was in turn glared at by a transit cop and slunk back to the middle of the train.

[ArcticChicken]

On public transit here, there are seats clearly marked with a sign that says, "Please reserve these seats for the elderly or persons with disabilities unless no other seats are available."

On the trolleys and buses here the signs don't say not to sit in those seats, but they pretty explicitly state that you have to move your ass for the elderly and disabled.

[Pagan]

WTF is up with not having manners. I always follow the saying "Treat people how you want to be treated", plus I do believe in "What goes around, comes around"

Yep, Karma, she can be a bitch! She might wait awhile, but eventually, she'll bite you in the ass.

I've been noticing that there's a general lack of compassion in the world now.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I don't expect doors opened for me because I'm a girl.

I don't either.

I expect doors to be opened for me because I expect people to act like they were raised by something other than feral pigs.

[Becks]

(a woman who misses chivalry which died at the hands of the feminists)

I wish I had more opportunity to be treated like the lady that I am.

[Emrld]

I know about the woman getting angry for offering her a seat . . .
My reply . . ."My Mom raised me to show respect to the women who have paved the way for me to have oppotunities. . . ." And then I walk away and let the stew on that.
It is a delightful catch 22 when offering a seat to someone who is more mature . . .your intention is to show respect, and you truly are not trying to offend . . . but sometimes we forget how old we look (speaking to those of us in our 30's and above). . .therefore how old must they look that we are giving up our seat?
Also, I was tought that you offer the seat to all females. (True the person that trained me was raised in another era . . .but it was a sign of respect toward a female to treat her like a lady and offer her a seat.)

As for the being injured . . .true you shouldn't have to air your laundry out to anyone else. But if someone is being catty I don't see anything wrong with saying something to them about not judging people . . .and if they feel so strongly about it . . .why don't they offer their seat up?

[blas]

To be fair, I don't blame the death of chivalry on feminists. Sure, some of the female empowerment has gone a bit over the top, but you must consider not many parents these days are teaching their sons how to treat a lady and not teaching their daughters how a real lady is supposed to be treated.

Now, off of that, RK, I love that. Feral pigs. More like feral cows around here. But we can agree to disagree.

To be honest, if I'm on a date and the guy doesn't open the door for me, he's out. I don't expect my car door opened for me or a personal escort....but I DO expect a guy to hold the door open for me as we walk inside. Any guy who pulls what most men do during my daily errands, well, they can go shove the door in some other girl's face.

[wagegoth]

I'm backing blas on the chivalry. If you read my original post, that was long before feminism.

In the origins of chivalry and since, men were expected to show respect and manners to women of the upper classes, but that was as far as chivalry went. A woman of the lower classes was fair game to any abusive treatment from any male of any class if she went about unprotected by family or friends.

And not much has changed.

As people, we should show kindness and respect, to the elderly, to the handicapped, and those in need of help.

When I was riding the bus with my son in a stroller, I was often helped by other riders, most often other mothers and black men. Real gangsta types don't help, but the others do. The difference with BART riders is that more of them are white, and they just don't seem to be brought up with the same kind of manners.

[Skoobeedu]

I agree that chivalry is dead. I don't know who killed it, but it's long gone.

Didn't happen on transit, but when I was pregnant with my daughter, I had my weekly doctor's appointment (I was one week before my due date). I go to the office and there are about 15 guys and kids sitting in all the seats and 6 pregnant women lined up against the wall, all ready to fall over and not one "man" offered to give up his precious seat. That went on until the nurse happened to walk out into the waiting room and went ballistic. She started ranting that if every single one of the actual patients didn't have a seat within 10 seconds, every man and child in the place would be out in the hall on the floor. The best part is she was about 5'1" and 90 pounds, but every one of those guys moved their asses.

Seriously, do people really have to be told by someone what is the right thing to do in situations like this?

[Princess-Snake]

A few weeks ago, I was taking a bus in DC. As always, I was wearing my IV backpack and you know how I'm always complaining that it's killing my back. So I sit down. When a woman carrying a baby, a toddler, diaper bag, and about four bags of groceries walks onto the bus. Despite my back, I get up to offer her my seat. Then I see some jackass teenager carrying nothing but an ipod practically dive for my seat. I decided that it would be a perfect time to turn around very quickly and watch the pretty clouds out the windows. As I turn around, SMACK!, he gets it right in the face with my backpack just as he's about to sit down. (4 liters ain't heavy, my ass. You get hit in the face with 4 liters of fluid without screaming motherf***er OW, then we'll talk.) I turn around and sweetly apologize and told him that I wasn't expecting him to come by. While I said that last part, I looked directly at the mother. He followed my direction and got the hint, so he slinked off to another area on the bus as far away from me as possible. The mom sat down and we both giggled like the immature kids we are. Was I sucky? Yeah, I probably was. But at least he got the message. Or, so I hope.

[scruff]

The last time I tried to offer someone a seat, it was to an elderly and clearly frail bloke on the bus.
He refused to take the seat, cos I ought to take it, as the lady. Despite looking like a light breeze would knock him over.
We spent the whole trip into town (20 mins) refusing to take the seat off eachother.
:-)
Now if he'd have been offering me the seat because I looked really tired/weighted down with kids/luggage, that would be a different matter, I'd have accepted like a shot.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

*golf clap for Princess-Snake

Well played. Well played

[Seshat]

Clever use of available resources, Princess Snake.


As for chivalrous/courteous behaviour, here's what I expect (or wish I could expect):

The visibly disabled to be given preference for seating, or smooth sidewalks, or suchlike. Heavily pregnant women (and visibly so) should get the same preference.

Anyone who gets noticeably injured (eg, a bad fall) to be offered help by bystanders.

Whoever reaches a door first opens it and holds it for people who are coming by shortly after him. If a long line of people is approaching, every few people, someone else takes the door from the preceding person.

Exception to the door holding: someone using a walker or wheelchair, or someone carrying heavy or awkward things, is exempt from door holding and should get the door held for them.

[Amethyst Hunter]

-Laundryhater
(a woman who misses chivalry which died at the hands of the feminists)

See you on Fratching for this one. I'm a feminist and I'm not the least bit offended by having someone hold a door for me or help me with something heavy. It's just common courtesy (that, and the fact that I fully recognize the deck is heavily stacked against me when it comes to basic biology, so I value my toes remaining all in one piece when it comes to lifting ). I hold doors for anybody all the time. If they get offended, it's their problem.

[Horsetuna]

I remember once I was hauling a LOT of groceries on my tiny little luggage cart. so of course, I flipped up the seats for the wheelchairs and parked it there. The bus had maybe... three people on it?

Anyways, two older ladies came onto the bus and sat in the seats next to my luggage. I had my headphones on, but I always had only one ear covered, the other tucked behind my other ear so I can both listen, and becuase headphones wont stay on my head if I have them on both ears.

Anyways, I got to listen to them saying about how people have no manners these days, while looking at my VERY HEAVY groceries (My luggage cart is permanently bent due to the weight I put on it. I'm surprised the wheels haven't snapped off yet).

Anyways, I do give up my seat when I am able to, but being a 'young but weak' type person, I cn't stand for long periods of time and I /have/ to sit, especially after a shift at work. I usually though,s it as far back as I can comfortably and curl up there.