the scs on the bus proving my grandma's saying

[Ree]

See you on Fratching for this one.

Now that is what I wish more people would do with issues that could become controversial. You started your thread at fratching and simply linked to it in your reply, and you kept that reply respectful and on topic.

People, take a lesson from the way Amethyst Hunter handled this.

Very nicely done.

[Peppergirl]

I completely agree with the rest of you. It makes me absolutely heartsick when I see elderly/infirm/injured/heavily pregnant people treated with disregard in these situations. I'm talking about giving up a seat, holding a door, offering to pick up a dropped item, etc.

I'm in my late 30s but my kids are 20 and almost 17. They are of the Y chromosome variety. - I've warned both of them that if I ever see or hear of them not offering up a seat or not holding a door open for someone who needs it, etc there will be HELL TO PAY.

When I'm out with them, they do hold doors open and I really hope it's not just because I'm with them and they know that I would kill them if they didn't.

I was really surprised about a year ago when me and my then 19 year old were waiting for an elevator. The elevator door opened, no one was inside, and he stepped up, held the door open and let all the females who were waiting for the elevator go on before he stepped on. We had never had that specific conversation, but it was nice to see that some of my teachings and warnings had been heeded.

[Misanthropical]

When I was 8 months pregnant with my oldest (and felt like Shamu) I was on a very crowded bus, when an old woman got on. No one offered her a seat.

So, I stood up and offered her mine. She said that I needed it more than her, but thanked me for being so thoughtful. She was telling everyone that the only one with manners was the one person who needed the seat more than she did.

My grandmother was the one who told me to always offer my seat on a bus to the elderly or those with a disability.

[Gawdzillers]

I try to do that whenever possible.
Which is why it frustrated the crap out of me when my date kept getting to the doors faster than me.
I even got to the car door to open it for her, and she went around to the other side.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

The last time I tried to offer someone a seat, it was to an elderly and clearly frail bloke on the bus.
He refused to take the seat, cos I ought to take it, as the lady. Despite looking like a light breeze would knock him over.
We spent the whole trip into town (20 mins) refusing to take the seat off eachother.
:-)
Now if he'd have been offering me the seat because I looked really tired/weighted down with kids/luggage, that would be a different matter, I'd have accepted like a shot.

You should have taken the seat. Sitting down would not have done him nearly as much good as feeling gallant and gentlemanly would have. He might have been old, but he was still a man. And clearly a very well brought up one.

Oh, and Gawdzillars...that chick sounds like she had issues.

[Gawdzillers]

Oh, and Gawdzillers...that chick sounds like she had issues.

I don't care, she's still perfect.

But we're getting off topic.

[smileyeagle1021]

I try to do that whenever possible.
Which is why it frustrated the crap out of me when my date kept getting to the doors faster than me.
I even got to the car door to open it for her, and she went around to the other side.

oh, I hate that... my rule on dating, if I asked you out I will be the one who does the work, I will open the doors, I will pull out your chair, I WILL PAY THE CHECK, I will walk you to your door... all you have to do is come along and have a good time... now if you asked me, yeah things are different, I have no problem letting you pay and letting you get your own door and chair etc because I figure this time if you asked it is my turn to not have to do anything but come along and have a good time (yeah, I know I have issues)

[rerant]

Is it still chivalry if a woman gives up her seat for a man?

I don't believe that just because you're a man you should be obligated to give up your seat. It really bothers me when anyone, regardless of their gender, refuses to offer a seat to someone else who needs it more than they do.

I don't care how tired or sick I am, if someone who would obviously need the seat more than me gets on the bus I get my ass up.
The way I see it, I may be sick/tired/whatever, but I'll get over it. The person who needs the seat isn't going to be any less elderly, disabled or pregnant in the morning.
Well, ok, they might be less pregnant in the morning if they have the kid that night, but you get my point.

Sorry if someone already brought this point up; I didn't read all the replies.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

[QUOTE=rerant;281974]Is it still chivalry if a woman gives up her seat for a man?

QUOTE]

In my opinion, yes.

Although if he takes it, he'd better need it more than she does.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Sounds like me on some days. And I admit, I don't always give up my seat when I should, but the number of times I have, and then the person continues walking to the back of the bus, or they just stand, etc. and then the fact that some days I'm honestly in no shape to stand, I just can't do it every time.

I have a bad back, so I don't give up my seat; however, I do often get glared at by people who are understandably unaware of my back problems as I don't look like I should have them. That's what falling off a motorbike does to you.

I also once had the ridiculous experience of being the only person to go and help this poor woman wrestle a pushchair and two kids on to a bus full of men... when at the time, I was on fricking crutches. -.-

[Ghengis51]

I'm the type to try to always hold doors for people and be polie (like everyone, I have off days). One day i was driving through a parking lot and a saw a woman with a walker trying to chase down a hat that was blowing right my way. She had to have already passed a good half dozen people that didn't do shit to help her. I was about to stop and help when the car in front of me stopped and a man got out, chased her hat down and took it over to her. I was honestly surprised, I'm very cynical about people nowadays, and people like that are, sadly, the exception rather than the rule.

[zzapp the witch]

Bf has been bitching lately about chivalry vs paying the tab. He's unemployed right now, so funds for him are tight. *I* wanted to go out one night, therefore, I see no reason why he should bitch when *I* pay the tab. Told him flat out, when you take me out, you pay, when I take you out, I can pay.

[Andara Bledin]

Man, this is one of my pet peeves, too.

I'm the type that will chew out people who don't move when they should.

I one time got to witness the bus driver have to tell someone three times to get their ass out of the "elderly/handicapped" seat for the rather large blind guy that was getting on.

I didn't always have a chance to get up for people because I normally sit rather far back, myself. Less traffic passing by, and less chance of needing to give up your seat.

...

On what killed chivalry? Two incomes required to raise a family. With no stay-at-home parent, a lot of things that would be passed on and discussed with too-young-for-school children isn't happening.

^-.-^

[Princess-Snake]

Hint to those entitlement whores on the bus: Giving up your seat does not mean giving up your behind. It means getting off it.

[Emrld]

zzap - I had a similar situation.
I decided I wanted to go out . . .part of his problem was feeling emasculated when I pulled out my wallet.
Well I was going to use my Check Card anyway . . .so I went to the ATM pulled out the money . . .handed it to him . . .he "paid" for the evening and we both enjoyed it.