This is the most complete and utter customer pwnage I have ever personally witnessed.
Though I'm presenting this story as if I were in on everything as it was actually happening...I wasn't. I got a good bit of the story from the bank employees, who talked about it right in front of me just after it happened.
Anyway.
I was in my bank's waiting area, which was not far from the teller windows. Minding my own business, waiting to speak with a representative about my account, playing with my cell phone. Watching the time rather closely because I had been waiting for a while and was starting to play the, "How long could this possibly take?" game.
The SC walked in with a check that an account holder had written to him. SC wasn't a customer with this bank, incidentally.
The account holder had neglected to sign the check. So the SC left the bank. He went outside and, I swear, returned not even two minutes later. (This part I did catch for myself - cell phone clock and the fact that I do pay a little attention to people coming and going around me.)
The check, this time, was signed.
Suspicious? Indeed. This person was not an account holder and, within the space of two minutes or less, obtained a signed check. The teller told the SC that she had to call the customer's number, which was on the check, because this was the bank's policy on checks that were written to people who were not account holders.
Which was true. My bank's rather picky about checks. I don't blame them. At all.
The customer did not answer the phone. The teller disconnected the line but, before she could open her mouth to say anything, the SC started complaining.
He went on a tangent about the mistreatment. He got louder and louder, griping about the "stupid policy" and such. The teller merely stood there, on her side of the teller booth, blinking occasionally and letting the SC have his little rant.
SC became so loud that EVERYBODY in the entire bank dropped all pretense of pretending to not listen. We all just stood or sat where we were, staring at the drama as it unfolded before our disbelieving eyes. The account rep. who was supposed to be finishing up with the then-current customer...stopped what she was doing to stare. As did the customer she was helping.
SC could not help himself. He was literally screaming at that point. And we were all staring, because we were equally incapable of averting our eyes from the massive train wreck disguised as a person.
Finally, the SC closed his mouth. He was utterly silent for a moment. This, sadly, was merely so that he could catch his breath for the next bit of verbal abuse to heap upon the innocent teller.
SC - "YOU, MA'AM, ARE A RACIST!"
Oh, yes. Because the teller was not the same skin color as the SC, this automatically made her a racist.
SC - "YOU'RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE I'M [race]!"
The teller, having put up with enough of this crap, finally spoke.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't help you today."
The SC did not hesitate to reply to this injustice.
SC - "I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH YOUR MANAGER!"
The teller did not hesitate to reply to this stupidity.
"I'm it," she said, with a bit of a smile that was manufactured in a facility that processed Evil and, therefore, contained trace amounts. "I'm sorry, but we can't help you today."
With that, the teller-slash-manager closed the teller window. The SC stormed out with the uncashed check.
And so help me, I laughed. Out loud. As the SC was storming out. I couldn't help myself.
Like I said: I got most of that info after the fact because the other employees asked the teller/manager what the heck had led up to that outburst. But...the complete and utter pwnage...so beautiful. I nearly cried, it was so awesome.
Though I'm presenting this story as if I were in on everything as it was actually happening...I wasn't. I got a good bit of the story from the bank employees, who talked about it right in front of me just after it happened.
Anyway.
I was in my bank's waiting area, which was not far from the teller windows. Minding my own business, waiting to speak with a representative about my account, playing with my cell phone. Watching the time rather closely because I had been waiting for a while and was starting to play the, "How long could this possibly take?" game.
The SC walked in with a check that an account holder had written to him. SC wasn't a customer with this bank, incidentally.
The account holder had neglected to sign the check. So the SC left the bank. He went outside and, I swear, returned not even two minutes later. (This part I did catch for myself - cell phone clock and the fact that I do pay a little attention to people coming and going around me.)
The check, this time, was signed.
Suspicious? Indeed. This person was not an account holder and, within the space of two minutes or less, obtained a signed check. The teller told the SC that she had to call the customer's number, which was on the check, because this was the bank's policy on checks that were written to people who were not account holders.
Which was true. My bank's rather picky about checks. I don't blame them. At all.
The customer did not answer the phone. The teller disconnected the line but, before she could open her mouth to say anything, the SC started complaining.
He went on a tangent about the mistreatment. He got louder and louder, griping about the "stupid policy" and such. The teller merely stood there, on her side of the teller booth, blinking occasionally and letting the SC have his little rant.
SC became so loud that EVERYBODY in the entire bank dropped all pretense of pretending to not listen. We all just stood or sat where we were, staring at the drama as it unfolded before our disbelieving eyes. The account rep. who was supposed to be finishing up with the then-current customer...stopped what she was doing to stare. As did the customer she was helping.
SC could not help himself. He was literally screaming at that point. And we were all staring, because we were equally incapable of averting our eyes from the massive train wreck disguised as a person.
Finally, the SC closed his mouth. He was utterly silent for a moment. This, sadly, was merely so that he could catch his breath for the next bit of verbal abuse to heap upon the innocent teller.
SC - "YOU, MA'AM, ARE A RACIST!"
Oh, yes. Because the teller was not the same skin color as the SC, this automatically made her a racist.
SC - "YOU'RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE I'M [race]!"
The teller, having put up with enough of this crap, finally spoke.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't help you today."
The SC did not hesitate to reply to this injustice.
SC - "I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH YOUR MANAGER!"
The teller did not hesitate to reply to this stupidity.
"I'm it," she said, with a bit of a smile that was manufactured in a facility that processed Evil and, therefore, contained trace amounts. "I'm sorry, but we can't help you today."
With that, the teller-slash-manager closed the teller window. The SC stormed out with the uncashed check.
And so help me, I laughed. Out loud. As the SC was storming out. I couldn't help myself.
Like I said: I got most of that info after the fact because the other employees asked the teller/manager what the heck had led up to that outburst. But...the complete and utter pwnage...so beautiful. I nearly cried, it was so awesome.

uts on hat and offers cheesy grin:: "How may I help you today?"
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