One Question People Never Think to Ask When Making Lodging Reservations, But Should

[Gurndigarn]

MARCON BALLROOM
by Anne Passovoy
Tune: Plastic Jesus

This may be an old story. My wife has been on the Marcon concom committie* for several years, and it's a story she related to me, so I'm not sure of it's age. I don't do much filking myself; I'm more into boardgaming myself.

* Try saying that one five times fast.

[Antisocial_Worker]

Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom
Sitting here we're risking frozen feet.
The only place we can sing next is
In the lobby where the desk is
Always heard it said revenge is sweet.

You don't know the meaning of revenge until you're thinking of where to bury the bodies of the clogging team practicing their routine in your lobby. They've moved the furniture, rolled up the rugs, and are doing their thing on ceramic tile -- and clogging, for those of you in the cheap seats, is a lot like tap dancing, only much louder.

[Primer]

... the clogging team practicing their routine in your lobby. They've moved the furniture, rolled up the rugs, and are doing their thing on ceramic tile

erm...did they have permission fom the management to move the furniture and roll up the rugs?? much less to be clogging on the ceramic tile??? Explain to them how slippery said tiles can be, and how much they cost to replace when (not if) damaged. Do they have enough personal insurance to cover that? Be sure to emphasize that the hotel takes no responsibility for the group's actions!

[Antisocial_Worker]

erm...did they have permission fom the management to move the furniture and roll up the rugs?? much less to be clogging on the ceramic tile???

As I recall, what basically transpired was that the clogging team was told they would be given a place to practice. Said place was not specified and the spokes-harpy of this group was a scary lady who more or less demanded the lobby. We thought they could have practiced in a room or a larger suite or something, or at the very least outside in the parking lot, but she wanted the lobby, and by God, she got the lobby.

As for injuries, the beautiful thing about our registrations is that each one amounts to a contract, and when you sign it you're agreeing that the Blah Inn is not responsible in any way for anything unfortunate that might happen to you or your belongings. You slipped in the tub or fell down the stairs? A stray cat got in and ate your treasured heirloom topaz? (It should pass through its system in a day or two -- feel free to retrieve it then) A miniature black hole opened up in your room and swallowed your children into its terrible, gaping maw?

We'll promise to feign sincere sympathy but that's all we're legally required to do. On the flip side though, we do not sign contracts presented by guests that hold them blameless for any damage that comes to the hotel. If, as a guest, you cause major damage, we have no trouble whatsoever suing you until you bleed -- and we've had to once or twice.

Edit: If the above comes off sounding too harsh, rest assured that if someone actually does come to harm at our property, we kiss ass, bow, scrape, and mince with the best of them. We do everything in our power to make things right, and our first concern is that the guest is not seriously injured, and to make sure they receive the proper care as quickly as possible if they are. However, when someone is trying to sue us (ie -- Whoo! Free Money!) because they fell down the stairs or whatever, when it clearly says on the registration that we're not responsible, that's when the gloves come off and we stop being nice.

[XCashier]

A hotel here in town a couple years ago...can't remember what chain...once booked a small sci fi con the same weekend it had some local Baptist convention.

Heh. If I was staying at a hotel where there was a sci fi con or LARP going on, I'd probably ask to join in!

But yeah, the mundanes have a cow if they see so many people in costumes, and sometimes for very good reason. One memorable local con I heard about had one woman dressed as a harpy (including naked breasts), wearing bunny ears and carrying a basket of eggs. She was handing them out to everyone, con-goer or mundane and saying "Harpy Easter!" I saw the video tape showing her giving eggs to an elderly couple who looked like they were about to have heart attacks.

[Becks]

Makes me want to look up the nearest amateur bagpiper's convention.

[Slave to the Phone]

If you aren't bikers, don't have a formal wedding at the final stop of a large poker run. (If you are bikers, have the wedding but remember to stock lots of beer.)

If you aren't bikers and you still choose to have a formal wedding at the final stop of a large, well-known, annual poker run, don't complain about the noise or our attire.

If you do complain about the noise, don't be alarmed when the noise level goes up. Its just the bikers talking about and laughing at you.

If you complain about people's attire, don't be surprised when people start removing their leathers and black t-shirts so as to not offend you. Yes, most people over 30 do look better with their clothes on. That's why they were wearing clothes before you complained about their fashion sense.

I blame the casino more than anything. Formal weddings should not be booked at the same time as a biker event. Greedy casino owners were just out for the money.

The wedding party was partly to blame as well. If they had quietly asked us to hold it down for the ceremony, we would have gone elsewhere for an hour. (heck, I've gone on Patriot Guard Rider missions with these guys. I've seen them push bikes a block down the street before starting them so as to not disturb ceremonies.)

[LdyJedi]

I've been to cons that have shared space with: cheerleaders (we're talking SCARY), the Salvation Army, Baptists and, my personal favorite: a flyfishing group. I'm waiting for the day one gets up the nerve to tell me, to my face, what I've heard them muttering softly. Though now that my daughter's as tall as I am, they no longer seem as concerned for her eternal soul

At one, I did have a mundane turn and look at us - at the time, we were dressed head to toe in Jedi and Sith garb and ask, "Do you people all travel together or something? What is this?"