Grocery store sighting

[Kogarashi]

And here I just learned to turn invisible.

By the time I hit 9th grade, all the bullies who did pick on me had learned that I wouldn't respond, not even to tell a teacher on them (with one exception*), and just sort of lost interest. One even got to liking me a bit when she read some creative writing I'd done for the school literary magazine (liked my talent, I guess).

Most of the bullies before then would just tease me, which I ignored.

* The exception was one supposed "friend" who got it into her head in 7th grade that she didn't like me, and started calling me names and making crass remarks about me and another friend. It came to a head when she stabbed me in the hand and neck (shallowly) with a ballpoint pen during study hall. It ended up in the principal's office with her apologizing and the principal telling her to lay off the other friend and me, and we didn't interact much after that. That was the only time I told a teacher (because the only people I hit back at that age were my sibs).

[Jay 2K Winger]

Had something similar happen to me, back before I became the big guy I am today. This particular assmuch had been giving me hell for, quite literally, YEARS because I was the chubby little kid everyone picked on. One day my self-consciousness and worry about being a "good boy" went to hell and I told him to leave me alone.

I've had similar things happen to me throughout middle school and high school.

In middle school there was this little douchenugget I'll call JP. He'd picked up that I was an easy target from a classmate from elementary school, and JP was just an absolute dick.

One day, I'm in the gym locker room, trying to get my locker open (not easy with the type of locks they had on these things, compounded by the fact that SOMEONE had rubbed deodorant onto the lock to make it hard to grip), and JP is there just heckling and insulting me up one side and down the other, and SLAPPING my hand off the lock right before I get it open.

Brain goes click. I grab JP by the head and slam his head into the lockers. He goes DOWN. And sadly, all of JP's friends were in that part of the locker room. They all gang up on me, and I just back into the main part of the locker room, and the coach comes running in to see what was going on. Naturally, JP and his buddies say I "beat him up for no reason," and my friends were all in other parts of the locker room, and so hadn't seen what was going on. Coach makes me stay after class, but lets me go without any trouble, because "I know you're a good kid, and you had to have been provoked. Just don't let it happen again."

After that, JP was careful not to give me any trouble unless he had backup. Ditto his buddy who'd clued him in about me. A completely separate incident had me slamming him against the wall after he finally made my brain go click, and he was very careful not to piss me off after that.

The high school incident, though, was a little more complex.

So it was history class. This guy sitting behind me is something of a clown, goofing around, making stupid noises or jokes. I'd been kinda grumpy that day to begin with, and turn to look at him when he makes one of his stupid noises. He flicks me in the hand with the cap of his pen, which was all chewed up. Stung like hell when he did it, and the chewed-up cap cut my hand, too. So I turn around and just ignore him.

Well, Idiot now gets worried that I'm gonna report him or something.

Idiot Boy: You okay?
*poke*
IB: You okay?
*poke*
IB: You okay?
*poke*
IB: You okay?
*poke*
IB: You okay?
J2K: *turns and glares at him* What do you think? *turns away*
*pause*
*poke*
IB: Answer yes or no, you okay?
*poke*
IB: Answer yes or no, you okay?
*poke*
IB: Answer yes or no, you okay?

Brain goes click. I just turn around, swinging to stop him poking me, and accidentally hit him in the nose, while saying, "Cut it out!" His nose gets bloodied a little bit. Now I'm feeling a little bad about the whole thing, and he shuts up, sulking.

Class breaks for lunch. I go down to the cafeteria, buy my food, and go sit down at a table with some friends. I've barely started when IB storms up to me.

IB: I'm gonna fight you, but I wanna give you a chance, so I'm gonna let you get one free hit on me.
J2K: Look, man, I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't mean to hit you like that, and I don't wanna fight you.
IB: Get up and take your shot.
J2K: No.

He then SLAPS my tray of food all over my chest and lap. I just calmly brush most of it off my shirt and pants, off the table, fold my hands on the table, and sit there, not looking at him. IB gets ticked, but a teacher made him walk away before it could get any further.

I get some food comped over the incident, finish my lunch, and wander about the cafeteria as I'm known to do. I'm coming out of the bathroom after cleaning up and I see these three kids (whom I vaguely recognized as friends of IB) marching towards me. I didn't really connect it with anything until I see the same teacher as before intercept them and make them go away.

I go back to class, but IB isn't there. And I get summoned to the dean's office not long after. IB is there, and he immediately apologizes for what happened, and I restate my own apology for hitting him in the nose. IB had to stay in ISS (In-School Suspension) the rest of the day, and I found out later that he was on the bubble with his parents as it was, like one more phone call away from getting sent to military school or something, so he was REALLY apologetic in the hopes they wouldn't tell Dad.

I didn't have so many problems when I moved to Northern Virginia to finish high school. Probably because the worst of the immature idiots had finally matured, or they'd been weeded out by the politics of high school life. I was also quick to make friends who would back me up, and I wasn't smaller than most of my classmates, either. (Since, in Texas, it seemed that a lot of my guy classmates were 6'4" and beefy as hell.)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I still say my proudest moment was kicking the absolute shit out of this kid in high school who, along with his friends, gave me hell since junior high.

One time he came up behind me as I was walking home from school and started punching me and daring me to hit back. So I did, right in the nose. Then, as I was going for his stomach or his nuts, somebody grabbed me and stuffed me into a car.

Yeah, on that day of all days, my mom picked me up from school.

If I saw this guy again (I haven't since high school), I'd probably punch him again. Just because I can and I'm no longer the meek, mild-mannered chickenshit I once was.

[Imogene]

Had an incident on the school bus where one of the kids kept flicking my ear from behind... I must've told the bus driver, and kid got moved to the seat in front of me.
And, I just couldn't help it... I flicked his ear in return.
I don't remember exactly what happened, but we ended up in the principal's office the next morning.
I think he told the bus driver on me for giving what he gave me... *shrug*

[greensinestro]

You were great. You certainly did what many of us want to do, but at times don't have the nerve to do.

[JustADude]

Except the moron behind me who decided to annoy me more.

1. "Please stop stabbing me with your pen."
2. "Stop stabbing me or I'm going to backhand you."
3. *WHACK*

Had something similar happen to me, back before I became the big guy I am today. This particular assmuch had been giving me hell for, quite literally, YEARS because I was the chubby little kid everyone picked on. One day my self-consciousness and worry about being a "good boy" went to hell and I told him to leave me alone.

I kept up the 'calmly assertive' crap they taught in the 'conflict resolution' lecture the school gave to try and reduce fights. No change for a week, except perhaps for it getting worse than ever.

The next week I told him, using a variety of vulgar language, to fuck off and burn in hell. A definite escalation resulted.

Monday of the third week I told him that if he didn't leave me alone I was going to beat the crap out of him. Later that day he went at me again and I kept my word.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have done it directly in front of a teacher, but I wasn't thinking at the time. I just felt the proverbial mental *snap* and then my fist was connecting with his face. I only got one shot off before I got tackled, and got suspended for three days for it, but he left me alone after that, as did the other, lesser, bullies.

Call me psycho if you will, but I still get a warm, satisfied feeling in my heart at the memory of his expression when I responded to one of his traditional tortures* with a sucker-punch that bounced his head off the wall instead of running to the teachers. To paraphrase the Mighty Ducks: "Three days? Well worth it!"

*Poke me in the gut hard enough to hurt and go "Hee-hee" at me like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

[MoxisPilot]

Someone chattering away loudly on their cell phone. If I'm behind and not yet quite ready to tromp around them, and I'm with someone, I'll add "Yeah, I fucked Johnny too.." or "Oh yeah I hear you sista, Ronnie is SUCH a ho!"......well if you wouldn't talk so damn loud and let everyone at Wal Mart hear your stories...

If my hearing weren't so bad (to the point that I can hear them talking, but am unable to make out what they're saying), I'd totally do the same thing.

You need to come shopping with me.

[MoxisPilot]

I must be one really rude mo-fo.

I'm pretty fast to observe a situation; if I see someone is doing what this woman did (as opposed to someone actually shopping), I don't wait nearby for even a couple of seconds. I NEED whatever I'm shopping for (I hate shopping, most times).

I approach, flash my best smile, and say, in this overly obnoxiously cheerful tone, "Pardon my reach!" or "'Scuse me, just a sec!" while reaching around them.

Never fails. They always move. Most of the time, they even smile back. I think it's all about eye-contact and willpower. I move them with my MIND.

[blas]

I tend to be really sarcastic and bitchy in these situations. I swear, one of these days someone much larger than me is going to choke me and throw me right in the freezer at Wal-Mart.

Family reunions in the middle of Wal-Mart. "Oh look, a white trash family reunion! How sweet!"

Two women chatting with their carts blocking everyone. "We better go the other way honey, wouldn't want to disturb the estrogen blockade!"

Someone chattering away loudly on their cell phone. If I'm behind and not yet quite ready to tromp around them, and I'm with someone, I'll add "Yeah, I fucked Johnny too.." or "Oh yeah I hear you sista, Ronnie is SUCH a ho!"......well if you wouldn't talk so damn loud and let everyone at Wal Mart hear your stories...

I am just asking for it, I know. But I'm too little and have too soft of a voice to really make it count if I yelled "Get out of the way!"....plus insulting and humiliating stupid inconsiderate people is so much more worthwhile. The looks on their faces are priceless.

[Mamadrae]

I have my 3-Polite rule. Ask three times politely then .. "get the fuck out of the way". Works everytime.

It helps if you don't care what morons think of you.

I love this rule. It works in so many situations. Like one time in high school I was not happy and I had a very violent temper. Most people know when I slam things to leave me alone. Teacher took note when I slammed my books on my desk while swearing, as did others in class.

Except the moron behind me who decided to annoy me more.

1. "Please stop stabbing me with your pen."
2. "Stop stabbing me or I'm going to backhand you."
3. *WHACK*

Guy tried to get me suspended (which was what happened when you hit someone usually) but the teacher refused to write me up saying that he provoked me.

I loved that teacher so much!

[One-Fang]

Um ... because he's got a wild sense of humour he's sucky? It sucks to be around the guy, but what's he gonna do, never go to another movie because he might upset someone?

IMHO, you were the sucky one. People laugh. If he's not talking through it, answering a cell phone, or being otherwise deliberately sucktastic, it's not on to yell at him.

I would have quietly found a seat somewhere else.

[FenigDurak]

The 3 Polite Rule also works at movie theaters. Went to see Tropic Thunder and there was a man 2 rows back who laughed like a donkey trapped under a steam roller and would laugh at everything, even the closing credits. I did the obvious turn, then the turn and glare, then the turn glare and shush. When those failed, I waited for a quiet part and turned and said loudly "SHUT UP ALREADY!"

It should be noted that the guy's friends sat at least a seat away from him before the movie even started. So they KNEW he was like that and still went to the movies with him.

[chinashirtgirl]

I agree about the "three polite way". After that it's just a matter of getting their attention no matter what. Annoying people!!

[marasbaras]

I have my 3-Polite rule. Ask three times politely then .. "get the fuck out of the way". Works everytime.

It helps if you don't care what morons think of you.

[AlmightyALT]

I probably would have waited a while and then broke her personal space bubble and got right up next to her to get what I wanted, and would have taken my time getting it too. My mom would have commented to me about how rude people are when they think the world revolves around them in a rather loud voice.