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Wherein Irv cheeses off a parking space stalker

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  • #16
    Quoth Becks View Post
    Who? Me?

    If so, yes...I have my moments.
    I can recognise a fellow perv from a mile away. I think I'm in

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    • #17
      I almost invariably park at the very edge of the parking lot. I'll also often times get stalkers who will follow me out the front of the store to nap my parking spot when I leave.

      Its hilarious when they follow me to the very edge of the lot where there's tons of empty spaces, but they're so fixated on stealing my spot that they don't notice they've driven by dozens of closer spaces that are empty.

      Its even more awesome when the person in the car (almost always a huge SUV for some reason) starts yelling at me or honking because of their own stupidity.

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      • #18
        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post

        I started rummaging around in the center console. Then I moved to under the seat and really started probing and digging for a few minutes. Finally, I opened up the glove compartment, rooted around in there for a bit, got out my money, put it in my wallet, climbed out of my car, shut the door and went on my merry way.
        what you do is get in the car, dig around for awhile, start the engine, put it in reverse, sit with your reverse lights on for awhile, dig around some more, then put it back in park, shut it of, and go inside

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        • #19
          This is why I always cut diagonally across parking lots. I NEVER walk straight to my car. I hate vultures...
          <Insert clever signature here>

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          • #20
            Parking space stalkers: what's wrong with rolling down the window and saying "Excuse me, are you leaving?"

            Politeness will get you everywhere.
            "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds..."

            Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.

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            • #21
              Quoth spookysonata View Post
              Parking space stalkers: what's wrong with rolling down the window and saying "Excuse me, are you leaving?"

              Politeness will get you everywhere.
              Of course the proper response to this is:

              "My mommy told me never to talk to strangers!" ... and then you bolt three aisles over.
              <Insert clever signature here>

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              • #22
                Had this happen to me not too long ago. Woman was bound and determined to get my spot, so much so that she was in the driving lane practically on top of me. It took me 5 minutes to back out because she refused to back further away, afraid she'd lose the spot.

                When I finally got out I blocked her long enough for the guy on the other side (who couldn't see her as I was in between the two of them) to grab the space! The look on her face was priceless, as was her beating her fists on her steering wheel.

                As I drove by her she yelled "I wanted that space!"

                I yelled back, "Yeah, and if you'd let me _out_ of it you could have had it!"

                Karma was on my side that day!

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                • #23
                  Quoth kiwiwinelover View Post
                  I can recognise a fellow perv from a mile away. I think I'm in
                  :batting eyelashes:

                  Quoth Lingering Grin View Post
                  "My mommy told me never to talk to strangers!" ... and then you bolt three aisles over.
                  I've done that.

                  Well, not bolt. I don't bolt. I scamper.
                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                  • #24
                    Quoth Kiwi View Post
                    I dont mind parking lot stalkers so much

                    but I DO mind when people honk because it takes me longer than 10 seconds to get in my car, belt up, start the damn thing and pull out

                    dont you honk at me you impatient fuck!

                    If people do that, I turn the car off and wait, and wait until they drive off
                    until I back out and the space is free again, it is MY parking space and I will take as long as I damn well please!
                    If they did that to me I'd suddenly "remember" a phone call I had to make.
                    Those who are loudest about their qualifications, tend to have the least merit to their claims.

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                    • #25
                      Quoth powerboy View Post
                      Once a month back, I saw an older gentleman waiting for a car to leave. As soon as the car did, another vehicle pulled into that spot.
                      Reminds me of the scene with Kathy Bates in 'Fried Green Tomatoes', only she went a little menopause mad and repeatedly crashed her tank of a car into the spot stealers little VW.

                      I usually just motion stalkers to go on by if I'm not ready to leave or if there's a spot not too far from my car that's already open. I dawdle on the side of safety when it comes to getting my car started and going.

                      On the flip side, does anyone else get a little annoyed with people that walk down the direct center of a parking lot aisle instead of one side or another?

                      It mystifies me, because it effectively puts a near stop to traffic and they Always seem to take their sweet time. I was behind someone the other day and by the time they reached a point where they could be safely moved past, there was a line of eight cars waiting behind me.
                      "You are the dumbest smart person I have ever met in my life!" Will Smith, 'I, Robot'.

                      "You LOSE! Good day, sir!" Gene Wilder, 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'.

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                      • #26
                        Quoth Snowbird View Post
                        It mystifies me, because it effectively puts a near stop to traffic and they Always seem to take their sweet time. I was behind someone the other day and by the time they reached a point where they could be safely moved past, there was a line of eight cars waiting behind me.
                        If pedestrian blocks your path, tootle him. If he still blocks your path, tootle him with vigor!
                        Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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                        • #27
                          Quoth otakuneko View Post
                          If pedestrian blocks your path, tootle him. If he still blocks your path, tootle him with vigor!
                          Oh hello gutter, you're nice and warm tonight...
                          Your true character is who you are when no one is looking.
                          --Unknown

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                          • #28
                            I remember hearing about a study, I believe by Walmart, that basically found that the die-hard parking vultures tend to take longer to get into the store than someone who parks way out in the lot where there's plenty of space. By something like 3-4 times. The laid back types would often park, enter the store, shop, exit and drive off BEFORE the vultures found a spot!

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                            • #29
                              Quoth karath View Post
                              Oh hello gutter, you're nice and warm tonight...
                              Can't stop laughing!
                              "You are the dumbest smart person I have ever met in my life!" Will Smith, 'I, Robot'.

                              "You LOSE! Good day, sir!" Gene Wilder, 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Quoth Becks View Post
                                Who? Me?

                                If so, yes...I have my moments.

                                Quoth kiwiwinelover View Post
                                I can recognise a fellow perv from a mile away. I think I'm in
                                This looks like the beginning of a beeeyooootiful friendship!
                                What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

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