Not that hungry.

[Kogarashi]

Only time I have ever given money to a panhandler was in college, when I was still single. My three roommates and I had gone to the grocery store for our weekly food run, and on our way out saw an oldish man with a dog and a bag of dog food next to the parking lot exit. We scrounged up some loose change, figuring the guy looked dirty enough that he probably was really homeless, and that if he cared enough to get his dog some dog food, we'd trust him with our loose change. He was very thankful for the ~$2 or so he got.

I've had people yell and scream at me before when I've explained that I don't have cash in my wallet, so sorry. Look, lady, it's the truth. I spend it far too easily, while the credit card feels like it has more consequences. So no, I really don't have cash. You can stop swearing at me now. At least the guy at the grocery store today understood when I explained that I didn't even have $.75 in my wallet. Though he did look shady enough that I locked my car doors as soon as I was in the car. Last thing I needed was for him to climb in after me and threaten me and Baby.

And last week, I did actually have change in my wallet (about $.26 in loose coins). I gave them to a charity right outside the Sam's Club exit since they'd fallen out of my wallet a good two or three times while I was fishing around for my Sam's card and credit card. I told the guy that we both won, since he got a little more change in his charity box, and I got rid of the Attack Coins of Doom. He, too, was very thankful.

But yeah, my policy is this. If you ask me for money (especially without explaining why you need it), I will tell you I don't have cash in my wallet. Sorry. If you ask me for money for food, I will offer you food if I have any, but otherwise you get the same answer as those just asking for money. And since Hubby and I are on a strict budget due to his stipend, I'm not buying you gas. Sorry. I can barely afford to buy food and gas for our family. I can't really afford to donate to yours too.

[Muses_nightmare]

I remember a story one of my coworkers told me.

She used to be addicted to cocaine, and hung around a lot of the dealers and such into that type of thing. Anyways, she's walking away from an atm and a guy comes up and asks for money for food. She just looks at him and says no. He goes on about how hungry he is, and how he knows she has money, she then looks at him and goes "who's your dealer? Is is X, Y, or Z?" and she drops a couple more names. The guy goes, "so you're not giving me any money?", and she says "I had to work for mine when I was an addict." and walks away.

Yeah, I don't give money to people, I'll donate money to charity and stuff, but people who are begging, I won't.

[smileyeagle1021]

Yeah, I'll chime in that with beggers with a few exceptions I'll offer to buy them what they need but won't give cash... I've even had a few take me up on the offer... there's been about 3 times now where there has been someone begging outside of Burger King or McDonalds or wherever asking for money for food and I've just said, I don't have any cash, but come in with me, order what you want, and I'll add it to my card... and they took me up on the offer... oh I'm really bad with the bus because I actually will be heading to a bus most of the time people ask that, and I'll say, sure I'll pay your fare, I'm waiting for the bus too, only had 2 people take me up on that though... it was a lot more common when I used to use single day passes rather than a yearly pass for me to say, "i'm done for the day, here, have my day pass" (which technically is against the rules, but damnit, I paid for a 24 hour period, if I can make it be used for 24 hours all the better)

[Chromatix]

I have a personal rule: I will sometimes give to a busker (street musician), if he's good. But I will not give to a beggar.

Around here, the beggars fall broadly into two categories: the alcoholics and the Romanians. The former have a habit to keep up (which will eventually kill them), and the latter are simply in the wrong place.

[jayel]

I once ran into a woman coming out of Wal-Mart who asked me for a ride to the bus stop. She said the manager kicked her out for begging, and gave her some groceries and sent her on her way. I helped her load her stuff into my car and drove her to the bus stop.

She me asked for money for bus fare and diapers. At first I told her I didn't have any cash because I never carry it, but I had just started waitressing and remembered that I had a few bucks from tips. I gave her $5, which she looked at and then stated in an indignant tone, "That ain't enough to buy a ticket AND diapers!"

I should have offered to take it back, but I was so suprised I didn't say anything. She broke me of my sympathy pretty quickly.

[Dreamstalker]

Question: ever seen a beggar that looks too... clean to be on the streets? saw one with an IPOD, and a homeless sign common and ipod?

I used to know a kid who would go "spanging" in Harvard Square on weekends. Somehow, no matter how hard he tried to look homeless it never worked. He tended to over-act it.

One afternoon he was complaining about how he wasn't getting any donations (a friend and I were in the area randomly and spotted him). Friend turns to him: "Dude, get rid of the bling and you might look a bit more convincing."

[RecoveringKinkoid]

My usual line is "I dont have any cash" but as it was sitting in the open, I felt like I couldnt say no and ended up giving her like $2.

Oh, you can ALWAYS say no. Don't make the mistake of thinking you can't. You just have to not care when they get mad, that's all.

And that goes for any situation, not just panhandling.

You know how I got to where I could walk the perpetual gauntlet of panhandlers between Kinko's and the Corner Pantry unmolested?

I took great concern with their wellfare and forced low carb power bars on them. I mean, they were hungry, right?

You habitually force Atkins bars on a guy when what he really wants is a malt liquor a few times, after a while you get treated like you are visibly emitting high level radioactivity. I could walk down to the store without being confronted or bothered in any way. And I didn't even have to be mean about it.

[Misanthropical]

I had a guy come to door asking for money, because his car broke down with his pregnant girlfriend in it. I offered to call AAA for the guy, but he just told me to forget it and went on his way. Nice try scam guy!

I have only given money once and it was only because the guy did seem embarassed to ask and said "okay, thanks anyway" when I told him I didn't have any money to give. I felt like he wasn't trying to run a scam, since there was no sob story involved, so I called him back and gave him the couple of bucks I had on me. He was nearly in tears when he thanked me. If it was a scam it was a damn good one, but I never did see him again, so maybe he really did need it.

[trunks2k]

I wont ever give anyone money, I wont even buy a sandwhich. Sorry that may seem cruel but there are plenty of city missions wherever I have lived and they give out meals three times a day and a bed at night for the homeless.

I'm the same way. Don't bother approaching me for money, I won't give it to you. Too many of people begging for money don't need it. It really sucks for the people that have real problems and might actually need "a dollar to get on the subway because I lost my wallet".

I'd rather donate time/money to shelters, etc.

I used to get accosted by beggars all the time in college (in the middle of a big city and college kids are gullible). My comment to people asking for money was along the lines of "Why are you asking me for money? I'm a college student at this expensive school. I'm in tens of thousands of dollars in debt. You're just broke. You have 0 money. I have negative money. If anything I should be asking YOU for money."

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Ha! Trunks2k, that's funny!

I hate the long, plot-hole filled sob stories they always come up with. A woman approached me in the Lowes parking lot a couple months ago. She says "Can I talk to you a minute?" (that's always a major tip off, itsn't it? Panhandlers say "Can I talk to you a minute" as often as car salesmen say "what can I do to get you in this car today?" It's like their mantra or something.

She goes on to say that her husband just got back from Iraq, and she had to leave him, and was on her way to relatives house with her five kids (here she waves vaguely at the parking lot to show that her kids are in fact there in a car... Somewhere... and she just needs a few bucks so she can get gas and be on her way. She didn't need much because her relative was nearby. I'm sure this story was tailored specifically to women with small children, which I was.

I was a bit confused by the gaping plot holes in her story.

So you know me. I asked her for clarification. I asked her the following questions and watched her get more and more flustered.

1. If you are out of gas, why are you parked in a Lowe's parking lot? There's no gas stations around that Lowes. Why park there? That Lowes isn't particularly close to a highway, either, so you couldn't have exited there and that was the first place you stopped. If I give you money, where are you going to go to spend it on gas?

2. Your relatives are close by. So why not go into Lowes, use the phone, and call them to come get you?

So I said I didnt' have any cash to give her (not that I would have given it to her even if I had). So she snapped "I'm not asking for money!"

Okay, then. I have some more questions. I'm assuming since you don't want money, you want a ride to an ATM.

3. I am driving a PT Cruiser with a child seat smack dab in the middle of the back seat. I can carry myself, my child, a normal adult, and two more really skinny adults that do not suffer from claustophobia. Are you going to leave your five children? You can't really do that, so are we taking them with us? Where are they going to ride, on the roof?

And really, what I REALLY wanted to know what this: If you are on the run from hubby, why did you feel the need to tell me he's a war veteran? Which is it? Abusive, dangerous animal or heroic soldier? I'm kind of unclear on the concept. You can't garner sympathy from me as an abused woman while at the same time making me feel obligated to help out the family of a war hero. So maybe I assumed too much here. Maybe when you said you had to leave him, it wasn't because he was a jerk, it was because YOU are. So why should I feel obligated to help out an unfaithful shrew screwing over a war veteran?

She finally got pissed at me and stomped off.

I mean, what is that? They KNOW they want money, so why do they so defensive when you suggest that they are going to ask you for money? They will do this EVEN AS THEY ARE ASKING FOR MONEY.

And people wonder why I tend to view the world in beautiful, full-color Crap-O-Vision.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I have never given money out. I will buy the Big Issue; then again, I'm getting something for my money.

One time tho, I was walking past McDonalds when I saw this girl outside crying. I asked her what the matter was, she said that she was homeless and wanted to go and wash up in McDonalds, but the kids behind the counter sent her off. I gave her tissues and told her to come in with me. I took her past the counter kids, up the stairs and to the ladies where she had a wash, then back down and out the door. Gits. Why does it matter to them that someone uses the basin to wash in? People use this McDonalds as a public toilet all the time, cuz it's near a bus stop. I also took her into Burger King and got her a drink and burger. She thanked me profusely. I never saw her since; she was around the same age as I was at the time (19) and I can only hope that she had someplace to go back to.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I always give to buskers, but I don't consider them to be panhandlers or beggars.

[Jack7957]

Question: ever seen a beggar that looks too... clean to be on the streets? saw one with an IPOD, and a homeless sign common and ipod?

Yes, down the street from my house by the grocery store.

I recall some enterprising news crew following these panhandlers and finding that they had homes and could easily work but chose not to.

Here's a spoof video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t0LZvE2Cj4

[Becks]

On the other hand, for the 5 years that I took the subway to and from high school, there was always this guy who would get on and go from carriage to carriage, begging for money to buy bread and milk for his pregnant girlfriend. I saw him at least weekly, for 5 years.

And his girlfriend never gave birth that whole time?

[Dreamstalker]

I have never given money out. I will buy the Big Issue; then again, I'm getting something for my money.

I'll buy Spare Change and give a few extra bucks to the vendor we've known for years; he knows I don't have a lot of money either, but genuinely appreciates anything I can offer. I figure if I give money to anyone on the street it might as well be someone who I know could use it.